Tr3dorz
"Broken hands, uncertain destiny"
- Jul 10, 2024
- 12
W.N: Before reading this, I warn you that the entire text was generated using Google Translate, so many words may not make sense.
Being alone for 18 years has deeply affected me. I'm tired of fantasizing about friendships since I was 9 years old. It's difficult for me to go to a psychologist; how can they help me if I'm unable to communicate properly?
I'm desperate to make friends. I've joined many online support communities, but I always chicken out and leave immediately. It would be great to have a friendship to chat, spend time playing video games together, share our problems, and receive a hug; it would be very good to have something meaningful in my life. At first, I think, "Wow! Having a friendship is beautiful," but then I think, "I'm an idiot, I'll never have friends, I want to my life." I've never received words of appreciation from a friend or someone genuinely interested in friendship or conversation. I don't know what else to do; I'm extremely stupid and shy, both in real life and online. I'm thinking of drawing attention in a morbid way, maybe seriously injuring myself, to receive attention for the first time.
"Oh, you're a melodramatic loser." You're right; maybe that's why I should die. My text is so contradictory and poorly translated that it makes no sense, just like my whole life. I'm just a fool with the motto "poor me," and I deserve all the humiliations I receive every day for being weird and weak, for not wanting to face even the smallest problems. I have delusions of grandeur for no reason, that's why I'm retarded, since I've never achieved anything and yet I think I'm better. My God, my head is full of shit. We all know that these behaviors end very, very badly. I should avoid it with my death before it becomes worse.
I hate my height of 5 feet 6 inches with myopia, nasal congestion, ASD, DCD. I would have severe social anxiety if it weren't for my depersonalization and my constant fantasies 24/7. I hate living in the lowest part of the third world, with people whose behaviors are deplorable and justified by culture.
I'm a fucking weirdo who reminds you of other fucking weirdos, right?
I hope this thread is not ignored like so many other things in my life because it's cringey. I've always lived in uncertainty, never been told directly to my face. Just tell me what they never told me. Am I in the deepest shit of hell or what? Please, be honest and clear up that doubt for me.
This is the only time I've managed to express what I feel and think. That's why this text is chaotic; all my emotions have exploded here.
Being alone for 18 years has deeply affected me. I'm tired of fantasizing about friendships since I was 9 years old. It's difficult for me to go to a psychologist; how can they help me if I'm unable to communicate properly?
I'm desperate to make friends. I've joined many online support communities, but I always chicken out and leave immediately. It would be great to have a friendship to chat, spend time playing video games together, share our problems, and receive a hug; it would be very good to have something meaningful in my life. At first, I think, "Wow! Having a friendship is beautiful," but then I think, "I'm an idiot, I'll never have friends, I want to my life." I've never received words of appreciation from a friend or someone genuinely interested in friendship or conversation. I don't know what else to do; I'm extremely stupid and shy, both in real life and online. I'm thinking of drawing attention in a morbid way, maybe seriously injuring myself, to receive attention for the first time.
"Oh, you're a melodramatic loser." You're right; maybe that's why I should die. My text is so contradictory and poorly translated that it makes no sense, just like my whole life. I'm just a fool with the motto "poor me," and I deserve all the humiliations I receive every day for being weird and weak, for not wanting to face even the smallest problems. I have delusions of grandeur for no reason, that's why I'm retarded, since I've never achieved anything and yet I think I'm better. My God, my head is full of shit. We all know that these behaviors end very, very badly. I should avoid it with my death before it becomes worse.
I hate my height of 5 feet 6 inches with myopia, nasal congestion, ASD, DCD. I would have severe social anxiety if it weren't for my depersonalization and my constant fantasies 24/7. I hate living in the lowest part of the third world, with people whose behaviors are deplorable and justified by culture.
I'm a fucking weirdo who reminds you of other fucking weirdos, right?
I hope this thread is not ignored like so many other things in my life because it's cringey. I've always lived in uncertainty, never been told directly to my face. Just tell me what they never told me. Am I in the deepest shit of hell or what? Please, be honest and clear up that doubt for me.
This is the only time I've managed to express what I feel and think. That's why this text is chaotic; all my emotions have exploded here.