I wanted to start this personal Thread on my CTB method... having the SanctionedSuicide community as a source has been helpful to me...initially was going to drop hang CTB but after researching the location, there was. A possibility that someone would attempt a rescue, so that made me change my method.
I will be getting a Hotel room for the night and will be using the Stat SN method (got my SN from US online retailer)
- I will fast for 12 + hours (only water will be ingested)
- 2 hrs before minimal water (sips so that my mouth is not dry)
- 1 hr before will take 1500 mg Tylenol
- 45 before will take 400 mg of Quetiapine/Suraquel
- 30 mins before will take 800 mg of Tagamet
- will then prepare my SN in three separate plastic bottles of water, I will measure them as follows (I am 220 pounds so will go with a dose of 35g SN)
1st Dose - 1x 35g SN in 60-70 ml of water (having in a plastic water bottle I can shake until dissolved + less risk of someone attempting to drink ~50ml of water in a 500 ml/16 ounce bottle) Also, will use a Mentos mint to get over Salty after taste.
2nd Dose - 1x 25g SN in 50 ml of water in Plato. Water bottle in case I vomit (even if I don't vomit I plan on taking this 2nd dose after 10-15 minutes of my initial 1st dose = want to be sure that I have a successful CTB
3rd Dose - 1 x25g SN in 50 ml of water in plastic water bottle ( 3rd dose will only be used if I quickly vomit up 1st dose and I would follow it up about 10 mins after 2nd Dose. Also, will take an additional Mentos mint after 2nd & 3rd Dose of SN.
I plan to have some of my favorite songs in a playlist and also I will be discarding the SN bottle in lobby trash can of hotel (going to try and not leave evidence + my phone has a 6 digit passcode nd will erase all date after 10 failed attempts). I am not planning on telling any of my family I don't want to make them suffer more than they will be already. I have been suffering BiPolar Disorder for over 15 years and have had 8 hospitalizations in Psychiatric Hospitals. Most recently I was a danger to my loved ones and I can't bear the possibility of being in a situation where I will harm them or other people...it's been a pretty darn good ~40 years on this planet...I am somewhat religious and I pray that I won't have to endure an eternity of limbo/hell for my actions.
you can go ahead and judge me or criticize = I'm a big boy and it is what it is.
I am looking for any input that will be useful to me for my CTB, if u have advice let me know.... SS Thread Forums have been therapeutic for me to talk about this in text = since I have. It discussed this with anyone at all in person.
I will be planning to CTB this Coming weekend so I wanted this thread to document my journey to CTB...thanks for taking time to read this and thanks in Advance for anyone who provides advice/input.
I will be getting a Hotel room for the night and will be using the Stat SN method (got my SN from US online retailer)
- I will fast for 12 + hours (only water will be ingested)
- 2 hrs before minimal water (sips so that my mouth is not dry)
- 1 hr before will take 1500 mg Tylenol
- 45 before will take 400 mg of Quetiapine/Suraquel
- 30 mins before will take 800 mg of Tagamet
- will then prepare my SN in three separate plastic bottles of water, I will measure them as follows (I am 220 pounds so will go with a dose of 35g SN)
1st Dose - 1x 35g SN in 60-70 ml of water (having in a plastic water bottle I can shake until dissolved + less risk of someone attempting to drink ~50ml of water in a 500 ml/16 ounce bottle) Also, will use a Mentos mint to get over Salty after taste.
2nd Dose - 1x 25g SN in 50 ml of water in Plato. Water bottle in case I vomit (even if I don't vomit I plan on taking this 2nd dose after 10-15 minutes of my initial 1st dose = want to be sure that I have a successful CTB
3rd Dose - 1 x25g SN in 50 ml of water in plastic water bottle ( 3rd dose will only be used if I quickly vomit up 1st dose and I would follow it up about 10 mins after 2nd Dose. Also, will take an additional Mentos mint after 2nd & 3rd Dose of SN.
I plan to have some of my favorite songs in a playlist and also I will be discarding the SN bottle in lobby trash can of hotel (going to try and not leave evidence + my phone has a 6 digit passcode nd will erase all date after 10 failed attempts). I am not planning on telling any of my family I don't want to make them suffer more than they will be already. I have been suffering BiPolar Disorder for over 15 years and have had 8 hospitalizations in Psychiatric Hospitals. Most recently I was a danger to my loved ones and I can't bear the possibility of being in a situation where I will harm them or other people...it's been a pretty darn good ~40 years on this planet...I am somewhat religious and I pray that I won't have to endure an eternity of limbo/hell for my actions.
you can go ahead and judge me or criticize = I'm a big boy and it is what it is.
I am looking for any input that will be useful to me for my CTB, if u have advice let me know.... SS Thread Forums have been therapeutic for me to talk about this in text = since I have. It discussed this with anyone at all in person.
I will be planning to CTB this Coming weekend so I wanted this thread to document my journey to CTB...thanks for taking time to read this and thanks in Advance for anyone who provides advice/input.
