Discussion I went to the mental hospital back in October

[manwewaslonely]

I was there for three days after voluntary commitment. Two weeks after I was in a partial hospitalization program until early-mid December. While I would never discourage anyone from receiving help (many people I met there wanted to live again and were happy), the effects for me have worn off I guess and I feel the same before I went in October. I plan to buy a long gun (that's the only one I can get the soonest in my state) and CTB then. I was taking my medication, going to therapy six hours a day, not drinking or doing drugs anymore. I've done everything possible to "recover" and live a normal life, but I guess that isn't possible for me, and that's ok. I don't really know why I wrote this, just to get it off my chest I guess because everyone thinks I'm better. Feel free to ask questions, I'll be glad to share what I learned while I was there because I truly do believe that for most people, those therapies would help a lot, just not in my case.

 

[WornOutLife]

Thanks for writing this! It's really interesting to read your experience.

I guess that mental hospitals, psych wards or whatever never help, I mean, they can't change our minds. I was in a hospital for a whole month, was about to be sent to a psych ward but "got lucky" and ended up with online therapy and a psychiatrist.
Is this helping? Not at all. I'm catching the bus next year.

 

[NodusTollens]

When I read the title, I assumed this was going to be an involuntary hold, surprised me to see voluntary.

Sorry OP, the system is seriously not doing enough for those who seek help. It royally sucks to dive in head first into recovery only to be let down in this way.

Good luck in your endeavours, I hope it brings you peace.

—hugs—

 

[manwewaslonely]

Thanks for writing this! It's really interesting to read your experience.

I guess that mental hospitals, psych wards or whatever never help, I mean, they can't change our minds. I was in a hospital for a whole month, was about to be sent to a psych ward but "got lucky" and ended up with online therapy and a psychiatrist.
Is this helping? Not at all. I'm catching the bus next year.

Thank you. That's true how you brought up they can't change our minds, however for me I looked at this as my "last shot". I have been depressed my entire life and my first of many mental diagnosis's was in 7th grade. I went into the hospital and program wanting to get better, I wanted someone to show me that I should live and that someone could help me. And the wanting was enough to get me through, but now that I'm done I've realized that it was just temporary. However, for the many people I've met, through all different life paths, almost all of them said they wanted to live again, they were happy and had plans for the future.

I'm sorry that you haven't been responsive to therapy. I would encourage everyone to try all therapies or medications or treatments available to them, but I'm not you. I don't want other people to commit suicide, but I know what it's like and I know I can't change anyone's mind who isn't open to it.

When I read the title, I assumed this was going to be an involuntary hold, surprised me to see voluntary.

Sorry OP, the system is seriously not doing enough for those who seek help. It royally sucks to dive in head first into recovery only to be let down in this way.

Good luck in your endeavours, I hope it brings you peace.

—hugs—

I knew the second I was checked into the ER that I shouldn't have gone in at all, but I was high and I had a ride to the hospital so I couldn't leave without running out and getting caught or if I got away, having to explain that I just ditched.

I don't blame the hospital staff besides the ER doctors. They went above and beyond for me and did everything they were supposed to do. Treatment does work, for the people who want, can and will do the things they don't want/feel like they can't do. For me, I had the want, I worked my ass off in therapy and at the end of the day, my quality of life will never be normal because of who I am and what I've been through.