I was wrong.

[worldexploder]

I do appreciate everyone's input and y'all are right. I was absolutely wrong for trying to get my aunt involved.
Sometimes I get so stuck in my own head and my own misery that I get tunnel vision and lose sight of how my actions can effect others.

I relooked at everything I said and I sounded like a grade A asshole. My aunt is the most wonderful person I know. She's my mom. She's the one who rescued me from the person who damaged me the most. Nobody has cared for me like she has.

I promised her I'd never ask her to help me with CTB again. It's not fair for her to have to deal with all this stress. After what y'all said it made me realize that she has just as much of a right to stay out of it as I the have the right to die. I can't impose my will on her. Plus all the legal trouble she could get into. She deserves better. I am not the only one who deserves peace. She didn't cause all my problems.

If I'm gonna go I need to do this on my own.

 

[Threads]

Atta boy.

Don't place the burden of your death on someone else.

 

[worldexploder]

Atta boy.

Don't place the burden of your death on someone else.

Thank you.

 

[Jane Doe]

I do appreciate everyone's input and y'all are right. I was absolutely wrong for trying to get my aunt involved.
Sometimes I get so stuck in my own head and my own misery that I get tunnel vision and lose sight of how my actions can effect others.

I relooked at everything I said and I sounded like a grade A asshole. My aunt is the most wonderful person I know. She's my mom. She's the one who rescued me from the person who damaged me the most. Nobody has cared for me like she has.

I promised her I'd never ask her to help me with CTB again. It's not fair for her to have to deal with all this stress. After what y'all said it made me realize that she has just as much of a right to stay out of it as I the have the right to die. I can't impose my will on her. Plus all the legal trouble she could get into. She deserves better. I am not the only one who deserves peace. She didn't cause all my problems.

If I'm gonna go I need to do this on my own.

Beautifully written

 

[Sayo]

Proud of you. I understand that with all the barriers to access placed on you it is so hard. I also understand that, because she is like a mother to you, you look to her for mercy. I hope you can figure out what to do with such impositions placed on you financially.

 

[Lovemykids]

Im glad u feel that way
She's a wonderful aunt
Get hands on N and take it on your hand with own effort

 

[Schopenhauer]

That was a good choice. She must be a good aunt, for not trying to get you psychiatric "help" or anything.

 

[worldexploder]

Proud of you. I understand that with all the barriers to access placed on you it is so hard. I also understand that, because she is like a mother to you, you look to her for mercy. I hope you can figure out what to do with such impositions placed on you financially.

Thank you very much. You really nailed it. I thought a lot about what happened today.

I had no right to be angry with my aunt (real mom). She did nothing wrong. She has stuck by me though thick and thin and sacrificed so much. She's also the most understanding and loving person I know. I feel bad for not giving her the credit she deserves. I needed the bigger picture shoved in my face.

It is very frustrating not to have access to methods due to my SSI. But I can ether accept this fact or drive myself crazy trying to chance reality. I choose the first option. I am still going to CTB eventually but I will make sure that nobody else gets dragged down with me.

 

[worldexploder]

That was a good choice. She must be a good aunt, for not trying to get you psychiatric "help" or anything.

She is incredible. Loving, understanding, progressive, forgiving. Everything you would want from a mother.

 

[Prime]

Courageous of you.

 

[worldexploder]

Courageous of you.

Thank you very much. And thank you all again for talking some sense into me. Made me realize how incredibly selfish I was being towards the most selfless person I know.

 

[Prime]

Its never wise to involve other people in ctb. they can be charged with abetment to suicide and can get into real trouble.

 

[Prime]

Because they will have to bear two kinds of pain at once. First, the pain of losing you. Second, the pain of being held responsible for your demise by law.

This is extremely cruel. Never involve anyone else in ctb