I was someone who really wanted to live

[FireFox]

I really wanted to live, be happy and so much more. I really tried so hard and fought so hard to improve my life. If I has more help from society on dealing with my problems and insecurities I wouldn't want to kill myself. My family do not listen nor understand, mental health care is hard to acess in my country, I have no friends, confidence is gone since being fired and now I put off working,

I am just an outsider all my life I have struggled to fit in, being a single woman I just invisible no one cares about us single people and I am just tired generally of nothing going right anymore.

 

[MrDarkness]

Same, I was happy with life a few days, some personal shit has come up, it's been raining for 6 days straight, maybe it's weather that I feel depressed. But life is shit most of the time so idk. I always had problems keeping friends in my life, I've lost almost all people who meant something to me. I hope things go better for you

may you find peace in life or death

 

[AshClouds]

Yeah, its the same with me. For a long time I thought that there was a happy future over the horizon. Now I don't see anymore. Everything always goes to shit when times are good. Its pointless and I keep thinking about killing myself.

I understand what you mean, feeling estranged from the rest of the world and reality.
I wish it wasn't this way, but that the reality of my situation.

 

[Gonnerr]

Dont worry ,me too and most people wanted to live and enjoyed life at some point but for a lot of us , we reach a point where we lost our innocence and its hard to stay alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's horrible how we exist in this dreadful world where people suffer all through no fault of their own, there's far too much unnecessary suffering being experienced and to me it makes sense feeling so tired of it all, I despise how cruel existence is.

 

[paranous]

Society itself is sick. It's not your fault.

 

[animetal]

Same here ! I felt so hopeful towards life's despite all the traumatic things that happened . And I felt I was doing so much and fully expressing myself and then the moment October came everything just went downhill, my mental health feels it's at a place of no return D:

 

[cami]

im sorry you feel like this :(
society is shit, not you.

 

[FireFox]

Yeah, its the same with me. For a long time I thought that there was a happy future over the horizon. Now I don't see anymore. Everything always goes to shit when times are good. Its pointless and I keep thinking about killing myself.

I understand what you mean, feeling estranged from the rest of the world and reality.
I wish it wasn't this way, but that the reality of my situation.

@AshCloud I am so fucking upset because when I was a teenager all I wanted was to be successful and be happy. I took school and university seriously.

I grew up to get fired at 25 from my first full time job. I got known more for being in controversy which was upsetting an arsehole customer client who didnt take it well and messing up all the time rather than my ideas and never got to show my potential.

Before I got fired I had to deal knowing I was the worst employee and everyone in the workplace thinking it. In one work meeting I said " Nobody says it but everyone thinks it I am the worst case assistant"
The room fell silent my boss said nothing. 1 employee spoke and said "No" the fakery was clear. This is the 2 faced arsehole collague who fucking lied to our boss about me.

I am so sick of shit never working out especially this year. I am was someone who really fucking tried and never gave up on anything. I was determined to make things work out

Now I am tired of it all. Society doesn't care about women like me, we are just abandoned. If I had more help for my problems I wouldn't want to kill myself.

Society itself is sick. It's not your fault.

@paranous Society is bullshit. Society tells me NOT to fucking kill myself but doesn't even help me to live to have a good quality of life.

● I am single woman society doesn't care about us everything is all catered for people in relationships. Singleness and loneliness there is nothing for us nor help to fix our loneliness and pain.

● I wanted work and be independent. My last job was a car crash in which I was not supported and guided enough. WfH if you are starting out as young person for me has been hell. You can't grow as an employee in your living room.

Older People with established careers and families don't understand nor care how WFH is disadvantageous to young adults like myself.

I wanted to live but society didn't care enough to help me.

im sorry you feel like this :(
society is shit, not you.

@cami If were to kill myself sucessfully the same bullshit society will be talking about how my death is "tragic" and be preaching about suicide prevention.

the same society that did not give a shit about me when I alive nor didn't help either to help me live a good quality of live.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I really wanted to live, be happy and so much more. I really tried so hard and fought so hard to improve my life. If I has more help from society on dealing with my problems and insecurities I wouldn't want to kill myself. My family do not listen nor understand, mental health care is hard to acess in my country, I have no friends, confidence is gone since being fired and now I put off working,

I am just an outsider all my life I have struggled to fit in, being a single woman I just invisible no one cares about us single people and I am just tired generally of nothing going right anymore.

Same here, alone in this dreadful world. Family don't care, no job. Always been on the outside looking in. Tried my absolute best in life, yet life just keeps kicking me in the teeth. It's utterly exhausting.
I'm finally done trying and don't even want to get better, or live anymore.
So sorry you are going through this. You deserve to be treated with much more compassion and understanding by this uncaring society.

 

[FireFox]

Same, I was happy with life a few days, some personal shit has come up, it's been raining for 6 days straight, maybe it's weather that I feel depressed. But life is shit most of the time so idk. I always had problems keeping friends in my life, I've lost almost all people who meant something to me. I hope things go better for you

may you find

@MrDarkness Last year I was finally happy because things were beginning to get better particularly after October. It was so amazing experiencing real happiness. At 25 it was all coming together finally that how I finally felt.

On October I went travelling to Venice, awesome holiday ever,and then when I came back to the UK I got a job interview. In November I met the older male work colleague in his 50s and I thought he was amazing( how wrong i was). I had the most amazing Christmas ever . Christmas day was so fun with the family. On boxing day I went to see Avatar way of the water in 4D and it was so awesome.

For the 1st time in my life i actually began to love myself , looking forward to the future and I finally wanted to live. Fast forward to 2023 everything in my life is a mess and it's all my fault along with things beyond my control.

-January: Forced to see fucking arsehole relatives because travel restrictions are now gone in my parents home country. Covid was the best never having to see them again. Those summers never having to see relatives anymore was the best summers of my life. I finally got what I wanted which was to never see my relatives again

- February: Fired before I got fired I went humiliation the older man I fell in love with turned put to be a lying manipulative piece of shit who humiliated me at work and my workfriend who is woman and mother also partipcated in humiliating me.

My boss even bruality mocked my immaturity, humiliated me infront of senior management and said how I bring nothing but problems to the department ever since I came. Months later it came out he wasn't running the department properly and lashed against me because he couldn't cope with the fact it was going to out the pratices he presided over under his watch.

As a kid all I wanted was to be successful and I grew to be fired at 25 from my first full time job. People don't even fucking understand why I am so upset and tell me "it is going to fine" and "everything happens for a reason."

Same here, alone in this dreadful world. Family don't care, no job. Always been on the outside looking in. Tried my absolute best in life, yet life just keeps kicking me in the teeth. It's utterly exhausting.
I'm finally done trying and don't even want to get better, or live anymore.
So sorry you are going through this. You deserve to be treated with much more compassion and understanding by this uncaring society.

@The anhedonic one If we
were to to be sucessful in killing ourselves today the same bullshit society along with our familes and people in our lives will be talking about how our suicides are "tragic", "devastating" and be preaching about suicide prevention and " reaching out"

The same bullshit society along with our families and communities that NEVER cared about us when we were alive nor didn't help either to help us with our problems so we can be able live a good quality of live.

Nobody cares until you die. Bullshit society

 

[The anhedonic one]

@MrDarkness Last year I was finally happy because things were beginning to get better particularly after October. It was so amazing experiencing real happiness. At 25 it was all coming together finally that how I finally felt.

On October I went travelling to Venice, awesome holiday ever,and then when I came back to the UK I got a job interview. In November I met the older male work colleague in his 50s and I thought he was amazing( how wrong i was). I had the most amazing Christmas ever . Christmas day was so fun with the family. On boxing day I went to see Avatar way of the water in 4D and it was so awesome.

For the 1st time in my life i actually began to love myself , looking forward to the future and I finally wanted to live. Fast forward to 2023 everything in my life is a mess and it's all my fault along with things beyond my control.

-January: Forced to see fucking arsehole relatives because travel restrictions are now gone in my parents home country. Covid was the best never having to see them again. Those summers never having to see relatives anymore was the best summers of my life. I finally got what I wanted which was to never see my relatives again

- February: Fired before I got fired I went humiliation the older man I fell in love with turned put to be a lying manipulative piece of shit who humiliated me at work and my workfriend who is woman and mother also partipcated in humiliating me.

My boss even bruality mocked my immaturity, humiliated me infront of senior management and said how I bring nothing but problems to the department ever since I came. Months later it came out he wasn't running the department properly and lashed against me because he couldn't cope with the fact it was going to out the pratices he presided over under his watch.

As a kid all I wanted was to be successful and I grew to be fired at 25 from my first full time job. People don't even fucking understand why I am so upset and tell me "it is going to fine" and "everything happens for a reason."

@The anhedonic one If we
were to to be sucessful in killing ourselves today the same bullshit society along with our familes and people in our lives will be talking about how our suicides are "tragic", "devastating" and be preaching about suicide prevention and " reaching out"

The same bullshit society along with our families and communities that NEVER cared about us when we were alive nor didn't help either to help us with our problems so we can be able live a good quality of live.

Nobody cares until you die. Bullshit society

Yes, it's both heartbreaking and soul-crushing to fully realise the truth that people don't really care about us until we die.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

As a kid all I wanted was to be successful and I grew to be fired at 25 from my first full time job. People don't even fucking understand why I am so upset and tell me "it is going to fine" and "everything happens for a reason."

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can relate to that point of always wanting to be successful. Actually I failed a few years ago and that was the decline started and yes I got to hear the same toxic-positivity phrases like you and they're not helping at all they just make me angry.

If we
were to to be sucessful in killing ourselves today the same bullshit society along with our familes and people in our lives will be talking about how our suicides are "tragic", "devastating" and be preaching about suicide prevention and " reaching out"

The same bullshit society along with our families and communities that NEVER cared about us when we were alive nor didn't help either to help us with our problems so we can be able live a good quality of live.

Nobody cares until you die. Bullshit society

Yeah this is probably true but after we left our bodies (just a cluster of atoms) behind we'll be free and we don't care about this BS here anymore. If it was only easier to leave this world.

 

[FireFox]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can relate to that point of always wanting to be successful. Actually I failed a few years ago and that was the decline started and yes I got to hear the same toxic-positivity phrases like you and they're not helping at all they just make me angry.

Yeah this is probably true but after we left our bodies (just a cluster of atoms) behind we'll be free and we don't care about this BS here anymore. If it was only easier to leave this world.

@Praestat_Mori I hate it when people in my life tell me "everything happens for a reason." I wish these people can shut the fuck up. I hate that pharse because it's bullshit. Life and this world is too complicated for things to be narrowed down to a simple pharse of everything happens for a reason.

No everything doesn't happen for a reason. My grandmother tells me that we relatives have God gave us for a reason. No our arsehole relatives we ended up with them because we were unlucky and lost the genetic lottery and ended up with these piece of shit relatives. A good God wouldn't give us these piece of shit relatives. I hate my relatives.

Bad things in life life is just not fair

If people want to believe in bullshit then fine but dont expect me to be believe it.

Virtual hug

from

FireFox :)

 

[Disappointered]

I remember when some people would impose the phrase "life's not fair" as though it was a resolution that an immature me had to learn to accept in order to be on their level and not be a bad person. I remember thinking "well...if life's not fair and that's somehow acceptable when I get kicked in the teeth, then I guess I'll just whip out a knife and stab you 'cause, you know, life's not fair". It didn't help integrate me better into society, to be put it mildly.

 

[Interestedsadboi25]

I really wanted to live, be happy and so much more. I really tried so hard and fought so hard to improve my life. If I has more help from society on dealing with my problems and insecurities I wouldn't want to kill myself. My family do not listen nor understand, mental health care is hard to acess in my country, I have no friends, confidence is gone since being fired and now I put off working,

I am just an outsider all my life I have struggled to fit in, being a single woman I just invisible no one cares about us single people and I am just tired generally of nothing going right anymore.

Same...
I used to be very positive about life and everything else, but idk... nowadays I just can't.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I really wanted to live, be happy and so much more.

Me too. Many of us. But life throws cruel "gifts".

 

[ijustwishtodie]

So did I. All I wished for was one person who cared. Even if they were an acquaintance. I didn't even get that. And now it's too late as the damage is done and the developmental windows are closed shut. I was meant to develop as a kid but I didn't. Even if I was suicidal since a young age, I hoped things would get better, that I'd find someone. Screw society..