Venting i was cheated on 2 years ago

[halfwaydown]

i was doing well for a couple of days but its just hit me that in about an hour it will be 2 years ago since i found out my ex boyfriend was cheating on me for the first time. i have bpd and he was my favourite person and it broke me. i remember crying in his arms after he woke up to me having found out, begging him to love me and apologising for not being enough. i stayed with him for another year after that and even found out hed cheated again in that time which he then used to turn it around on me for not trusting him and going through his phone. i still remained his friend until i cut contact completely with him in february this year but he messaged me recently begging for me back saying he'd changed but had apparently completely forgotten he had cheated on me. he explained he had never done that so i just blocked him and moved away. but now its the anniversary of finding out and its making me feel so worthless. reminding me that im never fucking good enough for anybody and it sucks and it hurts and its enough pain being cheated on for anyone to make them want to ctb and definitely enough for someone with bpd.

 

[Panna]

I'm sorry you're hurting like this. I know how painful it is to have someone like that and having them treat you so insignificantly by cheating around. No one should feel like they're insignificant enough to not deserve a partner.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Definitely feeling your pain here. A similar situation happened to me, but not only did she deny it, she used it as leverage to break up with me. She then hung out with a "friend" the very next day. After 4 years of us being together and me sacrificing everything to move away and be with her only for her to abandon me and then cry to a her friends that I dumped HER. People are shit....

 

[Apricity]

I'm currently riding that rollercoaster, and I want the fuck off. It's hard to get over getting cheated on. My first wife cheated when we were just dating at 16 and I married her anyway, just to have her do it again. My current (2nd) wife did the same thing. She cheated and I'm still trying to get her back. This is the point I realized I'm just not meant to be happy, and the final straw for me.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I understand something like that impacts people, my dad cheated on my mother and it ruined part of me in similar way I guess, I mean the trust was broken which was like loosing ground under my feet.

Also respect for reference from nick and pfp <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be painful going through this. Some people can be so cruel, it is why I choose to stay away from them. I wish you the best.

 

[halfwaydown]

I'm currently riding that rollercoaster, and I want the fuck off. It's hard to get over getting cheated on. My first wife cheated when we were just dating at 16 and I married her anyway, just to have her do it again. My current (2nd) wife did the same thing. She cheated and I'm still trying to get her back. This is the point I realized I'm just not meant to be happy, and the final straw for me.

im so sorry, thats such torture to experience. i really wish you some happiness from somewhere, you deserve it anyway but especially after going through that

 

[Rational man]

Trust is earned, he broke it. Your not to blame. You may not realise it now but pain makes you stronger..Take care❤