I was always be the rejected and unloved woman

[FireFox]

I an 24 and never had a boyfriend.
As a teenager I was confident at school answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies, standing up for myself against the builles but still guys pretty much ignored me. I was just the invisible girl.

Being an adult virgin is just physical reminder of how I was never seen as pretty by the guys and how I never matured really. Majority of women had their first boyfriend as a teenager whereas I am just a minority. Its hard hearing women share stories of their relationships and I can't relate to any of it because I never had a boyfriend. It is so lonely. We live in a culture where relationships are constantly promoted look at TV shows/films and celebrity drama.

I had go through school years seeing the girls in my class have boys notice them, ask them out on dates or to prom whereas that didn't happen for me. Seeing everyone have relationships at school it was like everyone was growing up except me. Whenever I liked a guy another girl always caught his eye.

I was the unpopular werid girl at school as a result guys made fun of me or wanted nothing to do with me because of my reputation of being the unpopular werid outsider girl.

When I was in sixth form( A levels UK) I really liked this guy in the upper sixth him because he was funny, Smart and handsome. I talked to him a lot in the sixth form common room and people could see I liked him a lot. People in the school started to talk about us then he started to push me away but I couldn't understand why.

I thought he was different but it turned out he was like everyone else in the school who was thought I was the werid girl :(
No matter how much my body ages I always feel like that rejected unpopular werid teenage girl.

 

[Jadedcat]

My story isn't quite the same but I understand this feeling. For me, i feel it had to do more with my weight and now my face is messed up due to an ex boyfriend. When I was younger, people were interested. Now that I'm nearing 30 in a few years and 80 pounds heavier, I feel basically invisible. It messes me up because I can see such a stark difference even in my own life. Ive also been rejected a lot just in general though, from friends and everyone. People rarely check up on me. So I cope I guess by embracing being invisible and I have a wall up made of steel and I isolate immensely. The men that have been into me have been beyond abusive. So I'm kind of thinking I just don't deserve happiness at all. I too watch my friends get attention and stuff and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me.. and then like I said, men who have been have made my life way worse. I'm trying to just love myself and not care as much but it's hard and everyone just wants to feel loved. Im sorry that no person has taken interest in general though. I'm sure that's really, really hard to deal with. Honestly a lot of people are just really poopy and our society is sick.

 

[Worndown]

What are your interests? What do you like to do or what do you want to do recreationally? I would suggest using this as a basis for finding others with the same interests. Online or in person, it is a start. Look for a group if possible.

Do not allow yourself to be defined by your relationship status or even the opinions of children.

Your situation is not uncommon. Many of us experienced this and eventually found others who were a good match.

There are many reasons why people find themselves here. I hope you find some advice and friendship here that can help you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm a guy and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. I consider that an adult. I got teased in high school, too. It sucked and I can empathize with you. Seriously. Girls may be cruel, but guys are cruel, too. I heard it all. Fix yourself up a little, put yourself out there, and see what happens. That's the only advice I can give you, really. Without knowing you, this may sound a little brutal, and I apologize if it does, but maybe you'll have to lower your standards a little bit. I know a lot of guys who got with girls that weren't considered "pretty", myself included, and I don't consider myself as anything special as far as looks. Far from it. Try to make a connection with someone, not for their looks, but because of what they are inside.

 

[FireFox]

I'm a guy and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. I consider that an adult. I got teased in high school, too. It sucked and I can empathize with you. Seriously. Girls may be cruel, but guys are cruel, too. I heard it all. Fix yourself up a little, put yourself out there, and see what happens. That's the only advice I can give you, really. Without knowing you, this may sound a little brutal, and I apologize if it does, but maybe you'll have to lower your standards a little bit. I know a lot of guys who got with girls that weren't considered "pretty", myself included, and I don't consider myself as anything special as far as looks. Far from it. Try to make a connection with someone, not for their looks, but because of what they are inside.

@locked*n*loaded
Naturally I find it easy to talk to people but my personality will never be enough. We live in a shallow society which values an physical beauty rather than the kindness of a person's heart. I just can't win because most men want a supermodel girlfriend whereas some like me with boring features which are black hair and brown eyes along with being brown skinned just can't win especially living a European society.

Blue, green and other eye colours are so beautiful because they stand out more and are visbly appealing to look at. When it comes to brown eyes the pupil and the iris together is just is so bland with nothing beautiful or vibrant when you look at the colour. It looks like a pool mud or an entrance to a dark tunnel.

I wish I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes because I would look more interesting. I feel like men will notice me more and will want to date me, its such a popular hair colour in society. I liked guys in the past and I notice they want that woman with blonde hair.

My race pretty much ruins it for me as I grow older I believe it now. Growing up as a black girl you become aware society doesn't find your race your attractive and this is something I always saw around me even in guys I liked. I grew up seeing other races get more desired than yours. The boys at school would fun of the black girls appearance whereas will want a girl is white or asain. The black boys at school also participated in this behaviour.

-In my teens I attended one of those extra circular activities clubs outside of school. I liked a Muslim guy who was of Turkish descent because i thought he was cool. I actually talked to him and actually made the effort to know him and even defended him but he wanted the white English girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes. She was NOT even a nice person but the guys all found her attractive and admired her.

The boy I liked in sixth form who thought I was the werid girl he was irish. He liked this girl who was white. She was very pretty and the boys at school liked her.

in adulthood I am still invisible and no one is ever interested in me. I am a nice quirky person but nobody wants to know me. I actually make the effort to talk to people, remember people's names but no cares to know me.

Sometimes I wish I was born that pretty blonde girl everyone wants instead of being the quirky girl I am. I can't dye my hair blonde because my hair is very sensitive to hair dye and risks permanent damage.

 

[Lullaby]

@locked*n*loaded
Naturally I find it easy to talk to people but my personality will never be enough. We live in a shallow society which values an physical beauty rather than the kindness of a person's heart. I just can't win because most men want a supermodel girlfriend whereas some like me with boring features which are black hair and brown eyes along with being brown skinned just can't win especially living a European society.

Blue, green and other eye colours are so beautiful because they stand out more and are visbly appealing to look at. When it comes to brown eyes the pupil and the iris together is just is so bland with nothing beautiful or vibrant when you look at the colour. It looks like a pool mud or an entrance to a dark tunnel.

I wish I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes because I would look more interesting. I feel like men will notice me more and will want to date me, its such a popular hair colour in society. I liked guys in the past and I notice they want that woman with blonde hair.

My race pretty much ruins it for me as I grow older I believe it now. Growing up as a black girl you become aware society doesn't find your race your attractive and this is something I always saw around me even in guys I liked.

-In my teens I attended one of those extra circular activities clubs outside of school. I liked a Muslim guy who was of Turkish descent because i thought he was cool. I actually talked to him and actually made the effort to know him and even defended him but he wanted the white English girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes. She was NOT even a nice person but the guys all found her attractive and admired her.

The boy I liked in sixth form who thought I was the werid girl he was irish. He liked this girl who was white. She was very pretty and the boys at school liked her.

Sometimes I wish I was born that pretty blonde girl everyone wants instead of being the quirky girl I am.

OP, you don't need to look like any of that. I grew up feeling how you were feeling and it took me a long time to accept how I look and be okay with that.

I'm black. I'm really shy and awkward, I have really thick curly hair and brown eyes, and I've dated different types of guys. I promise you there are people out there who love how you look and act.

Dating is just very hard. You have to put yourself out there and constantly deal with people not connecting with you as much, or wanting you for one thing or another. It's exhausting stuff but I know you can do it.

Brown skin is beautiful, brown eyes are gorgeous, curly hair is amazing; all of these features are just as great as any other.

 

[FireFox]

My story isn't quite the same but I understand this feeling. For me, i feel it had to do more with my weight and now my face is messed up due to an ex boyfriend. When I was younger, people were interested. Now that I'm nearing 30 in a few years and 80 pounds heavier, I feel basically invisible. It messes me up because I can see such a stark difference even in my own life. Ive also been rejected a lot just in general though, from friends and everyone. People rarely check up on me. So I cope I guess by embracing being invisible and I have a wall up made of steel and I isolate immensely. The men that have been into me have been beyond abusive. So I'm kind of thinking I just don't deserve happiness at all. I too watch my friends get attention and stuff and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me.. and then like I said, men who have been have made my life way worse. I'm trying to just love myself and not care as much but it's hard and everyone just wants to feel loved. Im sorry that no person has taken interest in general though. I'm sure that's really, really hard to deal with. Honestly a lot of people are just really poopy and our society is sick.

@Jadedcat
Virtual hug

I am so sorry about the abuse you suffered. Your ex boyfriend is a piece of sh* t I hope he went to jail because he is a danger to women and the general public.

You deserve happiness it's the piece of sh*t abusive men who DON'T deserve you. Remember that.

Being single becomes harder with age. As the years go by all I see is everything I missed out on being single throughout my life.

The valentines cards I never got to have, the times I never experienced a man saying I love you and being called someone's gf and just all those experiences couples take for granted.

I dont want to live being single in my 30s and this is the reason why I will end my life when I turn 30. I just can't cope anymore with my 20s being single. 30 is perfect age for me kill myself because my life is going to be awful in so many ways

- parents likely to be dead and my relatives are complete pieces of sh*t
- my dating pool will be smaller

 

[chocolatebar]

There's something in you that always bring me a smile when I see you around. Yet, it's always so sad to read your posts...

You're a lovely person trapped in a terrible world...

I can see part of my past in you and all I wish is for you not to become what I am today...

Sorry, I got just a few words today. Not feeling well

 

[FireFox]

What are your interests? What do you like to do or what do you want to do recreationally? I would suggest using this as a basis for finding others with the same interests. Online or in person, it is a start. Look for a group if possible.

Do not allow yourself to be defined by your relationship status or even the opinions of children.

Your situation is not uncommon. Many of us experienced this and eventually found others who were a good match.

There are many reasons why people find themselves here. I hope you find some advice and friendship here that can help you.

@Worndown

Its harder meeting people my age to socialise because of graduating university, the pandemic and having my first graduate job as a work from home job where all my colleagues live in different towns and cities in the UK.

I pretty much lost all my friends after graduating university as we all drifted apart so now I am just lonely.
As I grow older I just can't cope anymore with being single as it feels like i have been single forever. My own father rejected me and throughout my teenage years and early 20s guys just rejected me too. I realise now maybe I am the problem. Maybe it's my destiny to be rejected by men.
I always like a guy but another woman catches their eye, I am just invisible. I know more about the guy because I actually take an interest in them and who they are but no guy does the same for me.

There's something in you that always bring me a smile when I see you around. Yet, it's always so sad to read your posts...

You're a lovely person trapped in a terrible world...

I can see part of my past in you and all I wish is for you not to become what I am today...

Sorry, I got just a few words today. Not feeling well

Get well soon.

I love this post you're so lovely and kind.

Love
FireFox

 

[come to dust]

Have you tried tinder yet? Any time I've seen a girl get tinder (including non white girls) their phone blows up with 100 likes in a minute. You'd get a date or sex easily.

 

[Al Cappella]

So—and this is genuinely not meant as a come-on or cheese—but I have always preferred quirky, undiscovered diamonds, over what passes for looks on instagram. I'm not minimizing your pain, I was there too, in school—someone who wasn't taken seriously, or considered romantically interesting. It took a long time. The point is, there is someone out there who will want you for exactly who you are. It may just take longer…

 

[Darkover]

i am from the uk here a picture of me sending my love your way, by the way i have not had sex for 18 years now, i did have a 2 year relationship back when i was 16-18 now 36

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering, I see people as being cruel and disappointing, maybe it is them that is the problem rather than you. I can imagine that it must be painful seeing others having what you want, this life is very unfair. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Rejection and loneliness are hellish things. Some people trivialise or even celebrate them, I wouldn't in a million years. When you want something but can't get it, that's just bad, it's a loss. Plain and simple. Each one is a crease in the trousers of life.

 

[come to dust]

i am from the uk here a picture of meView attachment 91851sending my love your way, by the way i have not had sex for 18 years now, i did have a 2 year relationship back when i was 16-18 now 36

You are very handsome imo (I am an ugly 27yo gay man though)

 

[whatevs]

I feel like some of us go round and round making similar threads on the misery we can't escape.

 

[come to dust]

I feel like some of us go round and round making similar threads on the misery we can't escape.

I wouldn't call it just misery, it's dysphoria. A permanent state of mourning due to unfavourable, unchangeable factors in your brain and body.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I feel like some of us go round and round making similar threads on the misery we can't escape.

It would appear you're weary of it...Well, what else is to be done?

 

[Darkover]

You are very handsome imo (I am an ugly 27yo gay man though)

well thank you i am flattered and i am straight too thanks for the kind words.

 

[whatevs]

I wouldn't call it just misery, it's dysphoria. A permanent state of mourning due to unfavourable, unchangeable factors in your brain and body.

I like it! The opposite of euphoria.

 

[FireFox]

i am from the uk here a picture of meView attachment 91851sending my love your way, by the way i have not had sex for 18 years now, i did have a 2 year relationship back when i was 16-18 now 36

@Darkover

Aww you are so kind and thank you

You are sooo cute, I love the picture

Love
FireFox

OP, you don't need to look like any of that. I grew up feeling how you were feeling and it took me a long time to accept how I look and be okay with that.

I'm black. I'm really shy and awkward, I have really thick curly hair and brown eyes, and I've dated different types of guys. I promise you there are people out there who love how you look and act.

Dating is just very hard. You have to put yourself out there and constantly deal with people not connecting with you as much, or wanting you for one thing or another. It's exhausting stuff but I know you can do it.

Brown skin is beautiful, brown eyes are gorgeous, curly hair is amazing; all of these features are just as great as any other.

@BracketsHTML

Thanks

I have reached out to black women online on advice on how to overcome my insecurities on this issue and all I ever got was pure bullying and hostile behaviour from black women, it's so disappointing. All the f*cking time it has happened.

One British online fourm section for black women, it was large womens family fourm. I received comments from British black women accusing me of being a "troll" and saying "no black woman writes like that."

Other black women even criticised me saying "you do realise black woman have other eye colours not just brown." I pointed out to her that the only black woman who have different eye colours are mixed race women( mixed race is not black that is why it called mixed race). I am talking about the mixed race people I have met with different eye colours. If you are dark black woman or just a brown woman like me majority of us have brown eyes.

The women let me down. The comments were a all mixture judgemental and constantly dismissing me. One women said my comments are "hurtful" to black women. I just said I want to embrace my black hair and brown eyes because I struggle to because I find my features so dull compared to blonde hair and blue eyes.
The women on that fourm all builled and judged me.

2)On a reddit after I posted about my insecurities on a women's platform in Dms I got abusive dms from black women. I encountered the same bullying behaviour from black women users.
I am never reaching out again. I want to love the features I was born with but finds it impossible to do so.

I feel like some of us go round and round making similar threads on the misery we can't escape.

@whatevs
My 25th birthday is next week and I feel so awful about my entire life of failure. I just can't stop thinking of all the times guys rejected me, ignored me and just treated me badly throughout the years.
Birthdays and Valentines bring out all these awful feelings I feel.

 

[FireFox]

I feel like some of us go round and round making similar threads on the misery we can't escape.

@whatevs
My 25th birthday is next week and I feel so awful about my entire life of failure. I just can't stop thinking of all the times guys rejected me, ignored me and just treated me badly throughout the years.
Birthdays and Valentines bring out all these awful feelings I feel.

Have you tried tinder yet? Any time I've seen a girl get tinder (including non white girls) their phone blows up with 100 likes in a minute. You'd get a date or sex easily.

@come to dust
I am scared of taking a selfie of myself and being photograped. I don't like seeing my reflection and avoid being photographed . When I see attractive women on the TV, magazines and social media etc I feel so unattractive and look so boring.
I am not ugly but I am not that attractive woman who gets the male attention.

My appearance is just plain and boring even when i wear eyeliner and masscara I still am plain and boring.

On Tinder thousands of women are advertising themselves I have no chance. I don't and never did.

 

[come to dust]

@whatevs
My 25th birthday is next week and I feel so awful about my entire life of failure. I just can't stop thinking of all the times guys rejected me, ignored me and just treated me badly throughout the years.
Birthdays and Valentines bring out all these awful feelings I feel.

@come to dust
I am scared of taking a selfie of myself and being photograped. I don't like seeing my reflection and avoid being photographed . When I see attractive women on the TV, magazines and social media etc I feel so unattractive and look so boring.
I am not ugly but I am not that attractive woman who gets the male attention.

My appearance is just plain and boring even when i wear eyeliner and masscara I still am plain and boring.

On Tinder thousands of women are advertising themselves I have no chance. I don't and never did.

Believe me i have seen ugly women get 100s of likes there. I'd recommend it