falling_snow
Mage
- Aug 9, 2023
- 527
This year I was supposed to heal and start stopping my thoughts. After talking with some friends I thought everything was going like I had always dreamed. I know that my experience is nothing compared to others, but that doesn't make my injuries any less real.
My biggest fear was being forgotten or lonely. They left me. The friends that I made this year, the friends I made in my first year of high school, my middle school friends, they all left me. When I needed people the most, they leave me. When I meet someone new, I know that they will leave me before I know. I have been lonely in the past, I am lonely now, and I will be lonely for the rest of my life.
The first time everybody left me, I cut myself. It liberated me from the loneliness, but I still had hope for the future. Then I met my first high school friend group. They were my everything and brought hope to my life. When they left, they dragged me deeper. Then my first thoughts started. I didn't want to, as I had dreams for a better future. At first, when those two bitches decided to enter in my life, I thought that everything might become like my hopes. I thought they were the right ones. They weren't.
In TWO months they ruined the progress I had been doing. I had been making "progress" for a whole year, and they decided to ruin me. I was going to be a teacher. A father and a husband, maybe. Studying in another country had always been my dream. Teaching and helping others was my dream. Now I want to rest and end this. I hope not to see 2024.
To anyone reading this, thank you.
My biggest fear was being forgotten or lonely. They left me. The friends that I made this year, the friends I made in my first year of high school, my middle school friends, they all left me. When I needed people the most, they leave me. When I meet someone new, I know that they will leave me before I know. I have been lonely in the past, I am lonely now, and I will be lonely for the rest of my life.
The first time everybody left me, I cut myself. It liberated me from the loneliness, but I still had hope for the future. Then I met my first high school friend group. They were my everything and brought hope to my life. When they left, they dragged me deeper. Then my first thoughts started. I didn't want to, as I had dreams for a better future. At first, when those two bitches decided to enter in my life, I thought that everything might become like my hopes. I thought they were the right ones. They weren't.
In TWO months they ruined the progress I had been doing. I had been making "progress" for a whole year, and they decided to ruin me. I was going to be a teacher. A father and a husband, maybe. Studying in another country had always been my dream. Teaching and helping others was my dream. Now I want to rest and end this. I hope not to see 2024.
To anyone reading this, thank you.
