I realized last week that I cannot remember what happened in my past. I do not remember what is causing so much pain. I sometimes can remember how I felt. I used to be able to make a list of what happened but now it is just blank. It is really frustrating because it makes me feel so invalidated and pathetic. Like I have no reason to be upset at all. I do not remember most of my childhood.
No need to find a reason to invalidate your emotions, and you don't have to have a strong enough reason to righteously feel the way you do.
The brain finds ways to forget trauma, and on top of that; it's not a perfect machine. I feel similar to you but I don't want to invalidate your individual situation. I hope you to be well and that you remember what you need to, and find comfort for what you don't remember.
Maybe exercising and writing exercises might be able to stimulate the brain to help you dig through that noggin of yours.