Venting I want to self sabotage

[HappySisyphus]

Despite being down yesterday I realize I wasn't feeling as bad as before, and that I haven't cut myself in a few days now, I thought that maybe I was actually getting better, I even installed one of those apps to track your progress, but as always, just a few minutes after I did I started to feel as I always do, just a general feeling of dread and emptiness, I really want to cut myself and delete app, I guess to prove I won't get better, I already don't see any point in having to be honest, last time I had it I could barely make 1 day without self harming, I know I will eventually fall into that regardless if I have the app or I don't, if anything it would only make me feel worse seeing how unable I am to get better.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

addiction is a curse. it makes it so its all you can think of. when i first started tracking my progress i was relapsing every other day, but you just have to keep at it. just keep trying to make the gap longer even if its just for an hour or so. ive been trying to get clean for 3 years and ive offically made it to 9 months. every sceond longer is an improvemt and a slip up is not a failure just a step. i wish you the best <3