I used to hate a group of people in my "inner circle". Some "close" friends arranged a meeting with my mum and dad when I was heart- broken and overstimulated from the SSRIs I was on. I was In a bad place, but my psychiatrist and I had worked out a plan. The plan was to shield myself from the world outside, sleep and be offline for some days. I called my "inner circle" before going offline, and told them about my plan (so they wouldn't worry).
48h later I heard the doorbell ring, and I could see a police car outside my window. I thought something terrible had happen, so I ran out the door, frighten as hell. The officer ran after me, and I was placed in their car. They told me that people around me was worried I'd loosen my mind, and the county doctor wanted me in for examination. I didn't understand anything, and tried to explain the situation. Anyway, I ended up in the psych ward for 3 weeks. A nightmare!
I was so angry with my so- called friends (turned out, they were on drugs) and my parents. All I could think off was revenge, let them suffer. All this bad waste of energy didn't do me good. My doctor told me to let go of my bad friends. They would eventually get bigger problems, being assholes and addicts. My mum and dad, on the other hand, I had to work hard to forgive. But I couldn't cut them off. It wouldn't be fair. They really love me, and they were manipulated by my friends. I had to put myself in my parents place. It was a struggle to forgive, but when I let the rage go, I felt so much better. Hate really eats you up inside.
So my advice is to take a step back, observe your life in a small picture, then take a look at the bigger picture. If possible, talk to your father. Keep it simple. Talk to your brother. How does he feel?
Good luck
Lots of loveS
