Venting I want to live but my mind and body won't let me

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm so tired of living with a body that mistreats me, and having this rotten brain that won't ever let me be happy. I'm tired of fighting so hard just to exist, when it seems like most people have no issue with it. I'm tired of living with IBS and tinnitus. I'm tired of it all, I just want to have some peace. But the only peace I get is when I sleep, from the moment I wake up I'm reminded of my problems, of my pain, of how I am not and could never be a normal fucking human being.

I hate being alive, I hate my parents for creating me. The only one I love with my full heart is my online friend who has stuck with me through all this, she is a saint. I'm so sorry to her that someday she'll message me but won't get a reply. Please please forgive me N, I'm sorry I couldn't go on anymore. Stay strong through the pain, there is still hope for you! But all mine is gone.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting peace, it sounds like you've suffered so much, it's just so cruel and horrible to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.