I want to get better

[Fire&Ash]

I swear I do. But sometimes it makes sense to me to just end this. I've been depressed since 14 and I haven't finished goals or gone to school or anything now at 24. I feel like I have no future. I can't make friends or relate to people. But I swear sometimes I tell myself to see a therapist more than twice, maybe go back to school for an actual degree, maybe try dating idk. Can anyone relate about not accomplishing things, and somehow they turned there life around?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Hey love, you're still very young and still have a lot of time to get things in order and done. School is accessible at any age now, friends can always be made. But I get it, I felt the same and still do to a degree, but it's never too late. It's great that you feel you want to get better! Even that's a start and something to be proud of. Achievements don't have to be huge, start small, take baby steps. You got this!

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I just want you to know that you sound like me. I am 24, my problems really started around 14, poor health, I have no friends, no education, and just absolutely no prospect of a future. Yet, just like you I absolutely want to live, and I desperately want to turn my life around. I am sorry you are like me.

 

[Fire&Ash]

You know what sucks? I came to the realization like two weeks ago that I can't work hard. The times I've actually tried working hard, looked mediocre compared to anyone else I knew. It's like my efforts really don't matter. I'm I able to change? Can I put the effort into it? I wonder that if I tried, it won't matter just from experience

 

[DeathNoot]

I just want you to know that you sound like me. I am 24, my problems really started around 14, poor health, I have no friends, no education, and just absolutely no prospect of a future. Yet, just like you I absolutely want to live, and I desperately want to turn my life around. I am sorry you are like me.

I'm also 24, my depression also started at 14 and I'm in the same situation. Bit of a weird coincidence. Unfortunately I have no answers, but I do hope things turn around somehow.

 

[Vault of Memories]

In a similar boat, OP. Been depressed since 13 and just turned 27. Didn't really plan on living past high school, so I didn't make any plans with what to do with my life. At this point anyway, I didn't really have any interests either. I feel as even if I were to miraculously be "cured", I'll be facing the burden of my depression and anxiety in this past. So much wasted time and so many wasted opportunities.

 

[timf]

School and TV often paint a picture of life as one of steps towards achievement such as education, career, or relationships. This can leave those who are not ambitious or have to deal with things like illness or depression feeling like they have fallen short or are excluded from a full life. Many who actually obtain the "brass ring" in life find that is only a brass ring and still come to feel unfulfilled.

I knew a woman who was reluctant to return to her home for her 20 year HS anniversary. She had attended her 10 year anniversary and found the pompous strutting 28 year olds to be insufferable. After she came back from her 20 year anniversary, she described how much more pleasant it was because people were less about what they had and what they had accomplished and were more about the problems they were dealing with. In a way, reality finally brought them to surrender their illusions of importance and achievement.

The people in AA have a saying, "One day at a time". This can be a useful admonition because it tends to transfer attention away from symbols of a "successful" life (which tend to make us all feel inadequate) to the practical matters of reality. A person who has come to take satisfaction from a day sepnt reading a good book, having a pleasant verbal exchange with a co-worker, or even found a way to help someone else may have real victories from which substantial satisfaction can be derived.