Venting I want to get better but to get better but im not sure how to handle this

[Aliceinborderline]

Ive had near constant panic/anxiety attacks causing me untold pain lately. I cant focus on basic tasks and even cleaning/taking care of myself and anything has become insanely difficult which makes anxiety worse. I dont feel i have control over my life and i feel the world around me is apathetic and cruel i dont even feel doctors listen to me well. But ive talked in depth with my partner and i cant leave them and hurt myself i cant i also do have things i enjoy in life and know i could enjoy life but the problem is the now. I dont know how to handle this pain which feels like never ending suffering with out wanting to ctb or sh its one of the few comforting ideas is just calling it quits but its not what i want for my life but i feel so trapped ive failed college idk how to get ahead of all of this i just want to feel safe secure and at peace yet even holding my min wage job on disability is hard fo rme

 

[chester]

Is there any reason why you're not considering getting professional help?

 

[Aliceinborderline]

Is there any reason why you're not considering getting professional help?

it feels impossible to get

 

[SoulCage]

Ive had near constant panic/anxiety attacks causing me untold pain lately. I cant focus on basic tasks and even cleaning/taking care of myself and anything has become insanely difficult which makes anxiety worse. I dont feel i have control over my life and i feel the world around me is apathetic and cruel i dont even feel doctors listen to me well. But ive talked in depth with my partner and i cant leave them and hurt myself i cant i also do have things i enjoy in life and know i could enjoy life but the problem is the now. I dont know how to handle this pain which feels like never ending suffering with out wanting to ctb or sh its one of the few comforting ideas is just calling it quits but its not what i want for my life but i feel so trapped ive failed college idk how to get ahead of all of this i just want to feel safe secure and at peace yet even holding my min wage job on disability is hard fo rme

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's kinda comforting to know that someone is seemingly going through the exact same thing as I am.
I wake up every day in sweat, panic and pain. And doctors just don't believe my issues are real or just judge me for my decisions and give me solutions that don't work.
And I also have a partner that I don't want to traumatize with my ctb. So I am just existing in pain and don't know what to do.

 

[Aliceinborderline]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's kinda comforting to know that someone is seemingly going through the exact same thing as I am.
I wake up every day in sweat, panic and pain. And doctors just don't believe my issues are real or just judge me for my decisions and give me solutions that don't work.
And I also have a partner that I don't want to traumatize with my ctb. So I am just existing in pain and don't know what to do.

the worst is when they try to say things like if you dont use DBT we cant help you like its not a logical system for me its far past that simple of a fix which feels like logical choices