Venting I want to eat fucking everything

[willitpass]

I'm so hungry. My only safe foods anymore even look sad. Saltines, string cheese, sugar free jello, it's depressing to even think about. What fucking bullshit to be eating beige with some artificially sweetened gelatin every day. And the mental hunger is so, so bad. I want to go to every restaurant in a five mile radius and eat their largest meal. I want a big, juicy cheeseburger with nice crispy, salty fries. Wash it down with a chocolate milkshake. I want a warm brownie with ice cream on top, no make it a full on sundae on top with sprinkles and chocolate sauce and whipped cream and a cherry. I want a big, fresh salad with grilled chicken. I want mac and cheese. I want penne rosa. I want a breadstick. God I want everything and some. I can't stop fantasizing about food while I sit here and calculate how many saltines I can have in a day. It's fucking bullshit. This is not living.

 

[SuicidalOrganism]

Uber eats

 

[Hotsackage]

What do you eat in you're daily meals?

 

[Rocinante]

Just go exercise or go for a walk whenever you get tempted to binge eat, Monster Ultra helps too. Cures me

Uber eats

Lemarcus Small type shit innit

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Just go exercise or go for a walk whenever you get tempted to binge eat, Monster Ultra helps too. Cures me

She's literally starving, take your ""binge"" prevention advice elsewhere.

 

[anhedonya]

Don't bother arguing with that person Alexei- they love saying weird shit like that. Seen it a bunch of times. I know you're defending our friend and it's a valiant effort.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. I wish you could eat the foods you loved. It breaks my heart to see you suffer like this.

 

[ladylazarus4]

I assume this is about an eating disorder. I can relate; right now my ed is probably the main cause of SI for me. They ruin your life and tear you apart bit by bit until there's nothing left. they're so fucked. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[anhedonya]

Weird commentary + fat insult to Alexei has been reported and sent to mods btw. Watch your mouth with how you talk to people who are suffering.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Weird commentary + fat insult to Alexei has been reported and sent to mods btw. Watch your mouth with how you talk to people who are suffering.

Thanks <3 Honestly starting to think we need a separate ED section at this point, given how many insensitive comments ED-related threads get. This would hardly be the first time something like this has happened. I remember once someone was venting about their weight gain and they specified some numbers, and what does another user do? Ask what their height is. Like....??? I get that this is foreign territory for most people and most of the time it's ignorance, not malevolence, but maybe just don't say anything if you're not well-informed?

Sorry to derail your thread with this willitpass :\ it was just bothering me.

 

[anhedonya]

A separate ED section would be a good idea, I think, as long as rules are enforced about certain aspects. I've seen examples of what you're talking about and it really is so messed up. Willitpass is going through a process most people can't even imagine and she has no will over it- and she deserves compassion for her difficult circumstances. I agree that if you don't know better than it's safer to just let others who do speak on it. Here for you both and I'm sorry if that commentary harmed you.

 

[hamtaro]

I hope I'm not derailing this thread, and that some may find this link helpful:

Eating Disorders Support Megathread

This is a Megathread where members who struggle with an eating disorder can post their experiences, vent, connect with others in a similar situation and give/receive support. You can post as often or as infrequently as you like. Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. This...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[willitpass]

Thanks <3 Honestly starting to think we need a separate ED section at this point, given how many insensitive comments ED-related threads get. This would hardly be the first time something like this has happened. I remember once someone was venting about their weight gain and they specified some numbers, and what does another user do? Ask what their height is. Like....??? I get that this is foreign territory for most people and most of the time it's ignorance, not malevolence, but maybe just don't say anything if you're not well-informed?

Sorry to derail your thread with this willitpass :\ it was just bothering me.

I often refrain from posting about it anymore because it's something so unknown to so many here that it I end up with many strange comments. I've been told to "just eat before". I often get told how to avoid binging. I get told to eat healthier and exercise. 9/10 it's that people are naive to it all, not malicious, and I'm very glad that they are, I don't ever want anyone to know what this feels like. But it is very hard when all I want is to have somewhere to put my thoughts into the world and it always gets met with strange remarks. I don't want people to understand, but sometimes it does hurt a bit what gets said. I don't blame them for their naivety, and they aren't responsible for how I feel, but sometimes it still hurts.

 

[Coconut blue]

im also dealing with an eating disorder (purging type) so i really feel you. i wish i could just keep something down but the thought of that disgusts me so much...my life is bogged down in constantly eating just to purge everything later, then feeling hungry and starting the cycle again... makes me feel like shit all the time

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I often refrain from posting about it anymore because it's something so unknown to so many here that it I end up with many strange comments. I've been told to "just eat before". I often get told how to avoid binging. I get told to eat healthier and exercise. 9/10 it's that people are naive to it all, not malicious, and I'm very glad that they are, I don't ever want anyone to know what this feels like. But it is very hard when all I want is to have somewhere to put my thoughts into the world and it always gets met with strange remarks. I don't want people to understand, but sometimes it does hurt a bit what gets said. I don't blame them for their naivety, and they aren't responsible for how I feel, but sometimes it still hurts.

It's frustrating because people generally don't do this with other mental disorders. When someone vents about their alcoholism, you don't see comments saying "just stop drinking." I think maybe in the case of eating disorders, because of the fact that everyone eats, everyone thinks they're an authority on nutrition, or that they're at least entitled to an opinion on how others should eat. Ironically for this site, it's exactly the same thing pro-lifers do: I have x experience with life, which means that I am entitled to give this suicidal person y advice that worked for me, even though our circumstances are completely different.

Regardless, I'm sorry you have to see that kind of thing and that you're going through this in the first place. My heart aches for you. I know you're purposely trying to hurt yourself right now, but if ever you decide to give yourself a break, know that you don't need anyone's permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

Are you familiar with r/EDAnonymous? It's not what it once was but you might get better traction there.

 

[willitpass]

It's frustrating because people generally don't do this with other mental disorders. When someone vents about their alcoholism, you don't see comments saying "just stop drinking." I think maybe in the case of eating disorders, because of the fact that everyone eats, everyone thinks they're an authority on nutrition, or that they're at least entitled to an opinion on how others should eat. Ironically for this site, it's exactly the same thing pro-lifers do: I have x experience with life, which means that I am entitled to give this suicidal person y advice that worked for me, even though our circumstances are completely different.

Regardless, I'm sorry you have to see that kind of thing and that you're going through this in the first place. My heart aches for you. I know you're purposely trying to hurt yourself right now, but if ever you decide to give yourself a break, know that you don't need anyone's permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

Are you familiar with r/EDAnonymous? It's not what it once was but you might get better traction there.

Yeah I have noticed that something about eating disorders sparks a response different to most all other issues on here. Even people who are naive to other issues don't tend to have the same reaction to eating disorders that they do to say, self harm. I suppose they're confusing enough to people that have them, so to try and understand it when you've never had one must be exceptionally difficult.

I've never been one for eating disorder forums because, for one, I've never found one that is 18+ and I really don't feel comfortable on a forum that allows minors. I also worry that my issues are even too much to be accepted in an ED forum because my ED behaviors are so immeshed in my self harm and suicidal thoughts that they all run together, and I know that isn't general something talked about in ED forums.

 

[OpaliteEgg]

Can't really give advice cause I'm struggling with an ED too. Just wanted to say your not alone I guess. I've been so hungry before I've been shaking and crying and tearing my hair out of my head. I've had an ED since I was 14 and that's nearly 7 years now and i know it's hell. I really hope you feel better soon sorry I can't offer any good advice. I did want to reccomend in case you didn't know theres an ED forum called edsupportforum.com formally myproana. I used to be very active on there its actually the only forum I'd used till now. It is good its not 'pro ana' and more people supporting eachother but same time being non judgemental hence why they changed the name.

 

[willitpass]

Can't really give advice cause I'm struggling with an ED too. Just wanted to say your not alone I guess. I've been so hungry before I've been shaking and crying and tearing my hair out of my head. I've had an ED since I was 14 and that's nearly 7 years now and i know it's hell. I really hope you feel better soon sorry I can't offer any good advice. I did want to reccomend in case you didn't know theres an ED forum called edsupportforum.com formally myproana. I used to be very active on there its actually the only forum I'd used till now. It is good its not 'pro ana' and more people supporting eachother but same time being non judgemental hence why they changed the name.

I lurk there every now and then but don't have an account as it's not age restricted and I don't feel comfortable interacting with minors about those sorts of things. I'm sorry you're struggling so much, I've also had one since I was around 13, it's a horrible thing.