I want to ctb now

[SKDN]

I have just gone though this terrifying experience tonight and I don't want to wait for the SN for another month. I have lots os benzos. Alcohol. And a belt. The most useful benzo that I have is estazolan. I plan to take 10 mg, drink alcohol, put the belt in my neck, connect it to the window frame (very sturdy) and just fall asleep. Good idea? I can't wait much longer. The pain is unbearable.

I think that SI won't interfere. Don't know. If I don't post again, It means I was successful.

I'm not going the way I planned it. But most of humans don't anyway...

I don't have friends or anyone close to me. So I will just say a fell goodbye words here. I suffer from social anxiety since 12 yo. I'm 34. My wife Left me. I'm living with my parents for 8 months. She is with another man. I don't blame her, and wish her to be happy. I could never give her that. I'm from Brazil. She was the only reason for me to live for the last 12 years. I don't care about opinions about good or bad reason to CTB. I know my pain. It's unbelievable.

So I'm going to ctb. Goodbye fellas. This forum is great. Thanks.

 

[downndone2]

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Please know theres no going back. Try not to do anything impulsive and make sure you're sure
I wish you peace in whatever you decide

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you're suffering. Whatever happens, I hope you can be free from pain.

 

[SKDN]

Thank you very much for those words. I'm drinking now. Soon I'm taking the benzos.
Thanks, friend. It means a lot to have someone saying that.

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Please know theres no going back. Try not to do anything impulsive and make sure you're sure
I wish you peace in whatever you decide

I'm sorry you're suffering. Whatever happens, I hope you can be free from pain.

Beginning to feel sleepy. Belt on my neck.
Lots of alcohol.. can't think straight

 

[dredd1981]

Good journey

 

[SKDN]

Not easy to hang...

 

[RagingCat]

I hope you will find peace, I am sorry for everything you had to go through to come to this

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hope that you do not suffer and hope you will find peace.

 

[wljourney]

I'm sorry to say it but 10mg benzoes only make you sleep and give you somewhat of a hangover today.
Hanging yourself is not easy and even after taking benzoes you will likely fight the constriction around your neck.

Don't feel bad, we have all had days like these. Waking up after an unsuccessful attempt is never easy.
Sometimes it just gives people enough "lift" to make it through another day. Another week. Another month.

 

[melodrama]

Oh, I wonder how things went... I'm from Brazil too. I'm sorry for your pain.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I hope your journey was smooth and rapid, otherwise there is no shame in waiting till another day when you're more prepared.

❤

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in so much pain. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave. I hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do and I wish you peace whether you go through with it or not.

 

[justanothertraveler]

I think he was successful. He was last seen 3 minutes after he posted the belt picture. Rest in peace brother.

 

[downndone2]

Are you still here?

 

[Glowarm]

Whatever you chose to do I hope you found peace and no suffering.

 

[Shu]

They were online 5 hours ago.
Hope they're okay
Well account was active 5 hours ago