I want to CTB but too cowardly to do it

[battlaxx]

I've been wanting to CTB for a while now but don't have the nerves or courage to go through with it. I'm mostly scared of the physical pain i'll experience and also what were to happen if i failed or if i got caught doing it by a family member. How can i overcome this fear and just get it over with.

 

[SilentSadness]

No one here can encourage you, however it is entirely understandable that you are afraid of ctb. Since the pro-lifers cruelly restricted all the peaceful methods, all that remain are brutal and horrific methods which carry large risks of unspeakable consequences. Not to mention if we fail, we will of course be abused and gaslighted by anyone who gets involved. I wish it wasn't so stigmatised, but sadly we are forced to endure this hellish environment without a reliable way out. I am also stuck here in the same situation, without the courage to use one of the brutal methods available. I hope you find a way to achieve the peace you need.

 

[battlaxx]

No one here can encourage you, however it is entirely understandable that you are afraid of ctb. Since the pro-lifers cruelly restricted all the peaceful methods, all that remain are brutal and horrific methods which carry large risks of unspeakable consequences. Not to mention if we fail, we will of course be abused and gaslighted by anyone who gets involved. I wish it wasn't so stigmatised, but sadly we are forced to endure this hellish environment without a reliable way out. I am also stuck here in the same situation, without the courage to use one of the brutal methods available. I hope you find a way to achieve the peace you need.

i really do hate how pro-lifers just refuse to understand why people would want to ctb. i always hear them go on about how "it will get better" or "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" but it won't get better, i know for a fact it wont.

thank you for being so understanding.

 

[Dot]

Rel8tble

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think the fact that someone struggles to ctb necessarily means that they are cowardly as it's true that in this hellish world suicide really is something so difficult to achieve and I hate how we cannot just choose to pass away in peace without risks and complications, this anti suicide society certainly disgusts me, I also have the fear of failing ctb. But anyway there are just no easy answers to the question, I think that those who succeded in ctb found a method that they felt confident in and they were just so determined to succeed, I envy those who are already gone and I admire their courage.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Tell me about it

 

[Sparx]

I fully understand this, I've been stuck in a life I hate for nearly nine months now because I just don't have the courage to do it despite having what should be a painless method in my possession. About a month ago I had tentatively set a date for mid-May but I'm 99% sure that isn't going to happen because I'm such a coward. Eventually I will reach a point where I can take no more, but honestly that could be years away. I need to go sooner than that.

 

[NambaSutra]

This is me. I have absolutely unfixable psychological problems. I will never have a moment of peace or enjoyment again. I have means. And yet I cannot do it. I just keep living through the next hellish day, and the next, and the next, as the minutes and hours tick by, very, very slowly.

 

[nosoul]

I've been wanting to CTB for a while now but don't have the nerves or courage to go through with it. I'm mostly scared of the physical pain i'll experience and also what were to happen if i failed or if i got caught doing it by a family member. How can i overcome this fear and just get it over with.

We all have this fear, even finding someone to talk to not make it easier, I will be hated but my health declining too rapidly I fear, but we are looking for peace I suppose maybe at expense of others

 

[denix66]

Rel8table

 

[tiredangelgirl]

yep this is painfully relatable. I got sn a month ago and keep wanting to take it but chicken out. my stomach is upset easily so I just wanted to take the sn without anything else, but then I risk throwing it all up. it's really scary how uncertain it is.

my ideal situation would be if I could take the sn with comfort with someone I know, and be comforted my last few moments. and if it fails, they had a gun on hand to finish the job. i've tried bringing this up to my bf from multiple angles, but yeahh he isn't buying it. I'm sorry I don't have any helpful advice to give. I think the best we can do is tons of research to make sure our method is as foolproof as possible.

 

[henry22]

I fully understand this, I've been stuck in a life I hate for nearly nine months now because I just don't have the courage to do it despite having what should be a painless method in my possession. About a month ago I had tentatively set a date for mid-May but I'm 99% sure that isn't going to happen because I'm such a coward. Eventually I will reach a point where I can take no more, but honestly that could be years away. I need to go sooner than that.

What is your method? Also, I'm sorry you're dealing with this tug of war. It really is a big decision.

 

[pulsar]

I fully understand this, I've been stuck in a life I hate for nearly nine months now because I just don't have the courage to do it despite having what should be a painless method in my possession. About a month ago I had tentatively set a date for mid-May but I'm 99% sure that isn't going to happen because I'm such a coward. Eventually I will reach a point where I can take no more, but honestly that could be years away. I need to go sooner than that.

Heh wow 9 months. Try 10 years.

yep this is painfully relatable. I got sn a month ago and keep wanting to take it but chicken out. my stomach is upset easily so I just wanted to take the sn without anything else, but then I risk throwing it all up. it's really scary how uncertain it is.

my ideal situation would be if I could take the sn with comfort with someone I know, and be comforted my last few moments. and if it fails, they had a gun on hand to finish the job. i've tried bringing this up to my bf from multiple angles, but yeahh he isn't buying it. I'm sorry I don't have any helpful advice to give. I think the best we can do is tons of research to make sure our method is as foolproof as possible.

You people that have someone who loves you and would put them through that disgust me, so ungrateful for what you have. I live with it everyday alone for 10 years now.