Venting I want to ctb but don’t have the willpower

[Abaigh]

I want to ctb today by bleeding out in the bath but I know that I won't be able to go through with it just like I couldn't last time. The facet that I can't do it makes me hate myself even more for being a coward. I feel so conflicted(dk if I used that word in right way).
just felt the need to rant.

 

[Oyoy]

I want to ctb today by bleeding out in the bath but I know that I won't be able to go through with it just like I couldn't last time. The facet that I can't do it makes me hate myself even more for being a coward. I feel so conflicted(dk if I used that word in right way).
just felt the need to rant.

What is causing this stress?

 

[theguineapigking]

Hey. First off,you're not a coward. Fearing death or suffering is perfectly normal. Even the bravest of brave can fear death. Nobody knows what comes after. The pain of bleeding out is bad enough in itself.

I know what it's like to want to end it,but also know it probably won't happen. It's the same for me every night. I want to go end it,but I know I probably won't,because I never have. It's so depressing.

What's causing you to feel this way? Im here if you need to talk.

 

[Soul]

Hello @Abaigh — I'm sorry about everything that's led you here. "Conflicted" sounds like exactly the right word. I wouldn't be able do that either — my understanding is that cutting myself deeply enough to bleed out wouldn't be easy, and most likely I wouldn't be able to manage it.

Have you considered other methods? or does bleeding out represent something important to you — is there a reason you contemplate doing that to yourself even though it's rarely a successful way to kill oneself?

If talking about your situation could help, people here are good listeners.

 

[Abaigh]

What is causing this stress?

Trauma-ptsd, I don't have any friends, school, family, and in general anxiety and depression.

Hey. First off,you're not a coward. Fearing death or suffering is perfectly normal. Even the bravest of brave can fear death. Nobody knows what comes after. The pain of bleeding out is bad enough in itself.

I know what it's like to want to end it,but also know it probably won't happen. It's the same for me every night. I want to go end it,but I know I probably won't,because I never have. It's so depressing.

What's causing you to feel this way? Im here if you need to talk.

Life in general basically, I have ptsd anxiety and depression and school,family and friends add to it.

Hello @Abaigh — I'm sorry about everything that's led you here. "Conflicted" sounds like exactly the right word. I wouldn't be able do that either — my understanding is that cutting myself deeply enough to bleed out wouldn't be easy, and most likely I wouldn't be able to manage it.

Have you considered other methods? or does bleeding out represent something important to you — is there a reason you contemplate doing that to yourself even though it's rarely a successful way to kill oneself?

If talking about your situation could help, people here are good listeners.

Hi. Bleeding out is my only option. I don't have access to anything else.

 

[astro]

I'm the same. It's also the reason my treatment failed. Maybe one day I'll have enough and go through with it. One can hope.