Venting I want to believe the world is good

[colorlesshue]

two years ago someone on this site checked up on me after I posted about overtaking my antidepressants, I was coping terribly with school and everything going on in my life. I wanted, and honestly to some extent still want to die. It's difficult in all honesty to reconcile with that fact, or realize that two years from now i'd disappoint my parents when they found out about my self harm or make my first friend in person. I honestly didn't think i'd get this far, or even that I'd get past tonight.

but i'm still here two years later, a little more battered than before but i'm somehow still here. I want to think the world is good, even if the possible god that made it might not be. I found my religion in the baby that I babysit on fridays, or my excited professor glad to share a part of his research. I've found faith even tonight in the user that fed a man that was struggling.

i think the world is good, and I think I can be a good person.

 

[Industrial Solvent]

there is no good, but convincing oneself otherwise is probably the only way to stay mentally together, so i wish you the best.

 

[colorlesshue]

there is no good, but convincing oneself otherwise is probably the only way to stay mentally together, so i wish you the best.

I want to think I at least found good, even if it's in the little things such as gaining contact with people I havent spoken to in ages or when my boyfriend tells me he loves me. The world is full of awful things yes, but I believe we as humans are inheritably good.