mafuyu
electric angel
- Feb 9, 2023
- 133
I was a lonely child.
I played my part of being kind, and when I messed up, it was the end of my world.
I sit here, and I cry, knowing I will never be loved.
I will never have a group of friends that cares for me. I will never have strangers that ask me how I am. I'm in a constant cycle of proving myself to everyone that no matter the mistakes I've made, I am WORTHY of their love! I'm worthy of your care! You, stranger! I'm supposed to be adored!
Why don't you care? Why doesn't everyone come at my beck and call? When I post something vague about being sad, why don't they listen? Nobody asks me how I am. Nobody offers to reach out. Nobody sends me sweet messages. I try, and I try, and I try but NOBODY cares.
I'm as fake as they come. I fill everyone with love and joy and kindness and hope. I only want them to give it back to me. Quid pro quo, ever heard of it? I deserve the kindness back. I deserve people getting excited when I enter an online room. I am selfish and entitled and I hate all of you to the core but God, I fucking deserve something for the bullshit I've gone through!
Someone out there must love me.
I'll eventually die from a broken heart.
In terms of SN, I suppose.
Love me
I played my part of being kind, and when I messed up, it was the end of my world.
I sit here, and I cry, knowing I will never be loved.
I will never have a group of friends that cares for me. I will never have strangers that ask me how I am. I'm in a constant cycle of proving myself to everyone that no matter the mistakes I've made, I am WORTHY of their love! I'm worthy of your care! You, stranger! I'm supposed to be adored!
Why don't you care? Why doesn't everyone come at my beck and call? When I post something vague about being sad, why don't they listen? Nobody asks me how I am. Nobody offers to reach out. Nobody sends me sweet messages. I try, and I try, and I try but NOBODY cares.
I'm as fake as they come. I fill everyone with love and joy and kindness and hope. I only want them to give it back to me. Quid pro quo, ever heard of it? I deserve the kindness back. I deserve people getting excited when I enter an online room. I am selfish and entitled and I hate all of you to the core but God, I fucking deserve something for the bullshit I've gone through!
Someone out there must love me.
I'll eventually die from a broken heart.
In terms of SN, I suppose.
Love me