Venting I want to be a small girl

[DevonBostick'sAss]

I want to be a small girl. Im not that tall but Im around 170cm and fat. The only thing that can be called attractive about me is my boobs. RN Im in my house with my 2 friends one of em is a girl. And she is so pretty,so good looking so petite, She is 160 cm and she is so skinny and everything looks cool and pretty on her.

While I sit here feeling like a lump in comparison. She's wearing this simple little dress, and it looks like it was made for her flowing in all the right places, hugging all the right curves. If I tried to wear that, I'd look like a stuffed sausage. I can't help but wonder what it's like to just exist without feeling like you take up too much space, to not have to think about what people are whispering about when they glance your way.

I glance down at my own outfit baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, my go-to armor against the world. It's not that I don't try. God knows I've tried. But every time I attempt to wear something "nice," it either doesn't fit right or makes me feel like I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. And then there's her. She doesn't even realize how easy it is for her, how effortless. She can eat an entire pizza and still look like she stepped out of a magazine. Meanwhile, I think about a slice of pizza, and my jeans start to feel tight.

It's not that I don't love her I do. She's my best friends friend we are old class mates. But sitting here next to her, I can't help but feel this simmering mixture of admiration and jealousy. I wish I could just borrow a piece of her confidence, her beauty, her ease, just for a day. But instead, I sit here writing in this forum.

I really wanna cut myself right now. I wanna cut my body. Im gonna stop eating after my exams are over. I wanna be pretty. I wish I was petite like her.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I deeply relate to this being born in the wrong race and having an hourglass figure (I still look so fat and hate being called thick) and just wished the human body wasn't like this all lol so I wish I could just be slightly taller too :<

 

[EvisceratedJester]

While you might be on the taller side, 170cm isn't that tall overall. You still fall within the typical height distribution for women.

Spoiler

Women were smaller on average, with a mean height of 164.7 cm, and a standard deviation of 7.07 cm. This means 68% of women were between 157.6 and 171.8 cm
; and 95% between 150.6 and 178.84 cm.

Human Height

The average height of a population can inform us about the nutrition and living conditions of populations in the past for which we have little other data.

ourworldindata.org

For example, the global average human female height is ~162 cm with ~6 cm per standard deviation. This means that most females are between 153 cm and 171 cm tall, and this range is considered statistically ​

typical​

. Only 20% are shorter or higher than that range and considered statistically ​

atypical​

.​

Unraveling Neurodiversity: Insights from Neuroscientific Perspectives

Neurodiversity is a concept and a social movement that addresses and normalizes human neurocognitive heterogeneity to promote acceptance and inclusion of neuro-minorities (e.g., learning disabilities, attention disorders, psychiatric disorders, and more) in contemporary society. Neurodiversity...

www.mdpi.com

Most people, at least in many Western countries, aren't going to see you as being unattractive because you are 5'7. I'm around the same height as you and most people don't see it as out of the ordinary. The only time I've gotten my height commented on as an adult was while out of the country, and even then none of them were meant as a negative. Even when I was younger, most comments about my height were either neutral or positive.

In regards to your weight, ideas of attractiveness surrounding weight also tend to differ depending on time period and culture. You being fat doesn't inherently make you unattractive because beauty ideals are largely based on social conformity surrounding what is or isn't attractive and that tends to change a lot. You view fatness as being ugly because wider society taught you to, not because there is anything inherently wrong with it. Clothing may fit your friend better but is it simply because your friend is petite or is it because clothing made for plus-sized individuals tends to be more lazily made and more ill-fitting? If you look up plus-size clothing and go through images of it, you'll find a lot of plus-sized people wearing nice outfits that look amazing on them. Part of why is because they are wearing clothing that is either fitted or specifically made for their body type. Funnily enough, a lot of non-plus-sized women describe having similar issues to yours when it comes to clothing because of the fact that most brands aren't body-inclusive.

Maybe you could try getting your nice clothing fitted or you try learning how to sew in order to better cater your clothing to your body type.

In regards to people whispering about you, I'd say just ignore them. People are rude and judgemental towards anyone who they perceive as not fitting into societal norms. Even if you were skinny and petite they would still find something else to judge you for. Working towards societal validation is a losing battle. I understand that it's easier said than done, but it's generally much more fulfilling compared to the alternative.

 

[divinemistress36]

A lot men like thicker women but I can understand not feeling comfortable in your body . I dont like being overweight