Discussion I Want An Eating Disorder

[Unwr!tten]

I'm overweight and like struggle with over eating when my meds run out and like, I wish I could just not? I struggle to lose weight and I wish I had the self control to lose weight, but I am disabled and have so little motivation. Idk what the fuck is wrong with me.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Disordered eating on both ends of the spectrum is bad.

 

[SomeoneHelpMe]

I feel exactly the same way. I have been oveweight my whole life and just want to be skinny. I tried not eating for days and barely lost any weight. I am also disabled and have zero motivation anymore. It feels so horrible to say something like "I want an eating disorder" as its horrid to live with one, but I honestly feel exactly that way.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Trust me, do it healthily with exercise and the like if you are able to. Suddenly restricting can actually make you gain more since the body goes into starvation mode. meant with empathy and kindness, sorry if it read otherwise OP I just wouldn't wish this on anyone.

 

[GlassMoon]

I'm overweight and like struggle with over eating when my meds run out and like, I wish I could just not? I struggle to lose weight and I wish I had the self control to lose weight, but I am disabled and have so little motivation. Idk what the fuck is wrong with me.

That also qualifies as an eating disorder, I think. They go both ways... I'm on the heavy side as well and wish I could eat normal, then things would settle on their own. Having an eating disorder which would cause you to loose weight would make you end up on the opposite end in no time, and it wouldn't be any better :(

Hope you find a way to a healthier weight while getting healthy eating habits as well

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Trust me, do it healthily with exercise and the like if you are able to. Suddenly restricting can actually make you gain more since the body goes into starvation mode.

I empathize with your predicament OP, but ophelia is right; it will do far more harm than good.

I used to be able to naturally maintain a normal weight without even thinking about what I ate, then I got an eating disorder, which in turn caused post-starvation hyperphagia (ie. extreme hunger -- and we're talking extreme, like 10k cal a day). This was my body's way of building up protective "collateral" fat so that the next time I starved, it would have more energy stores. Something similar happens to most people with EDs, so they end up even larger than they were to begin with.

But that's not the worst part tbh. The worst part is the fact that it takes everything from you: your physical health (I now have nerve damage and GERD), your mental health, your friends, your family, your partner, your finances, your hobbies, your sports, your soul. I would not wish it on anyone.

 

[badkarma4618]

i get why it feels like wanting an eating disorder could be the answer. it can seem like a way to finally have control or to quiet the chaos. especially when everything else feels out of reach. but living with one is not what most people imagine it is. it is not just eating less or being thinner it becomes something that takes over your mind in ways that are hard to explain. it pulls you away from people and from moments that used to matter. you stop thinking clearly. you feel cold tired and dizzy all of the time. your hair starts to thin and fall out. your heart might beat too slow. your body starts to shut down in small quiet ways and even then the voice in your head tells you it is not enough. it is never enough. it does not stop. wanting to feel better in your body or to feel okay again makes sense and you deserve that. but eating disorders do not give it. they take more than they ever promise and leave you emptier than you were before.