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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
ok so im crazy obsessed with this guy rn he is everything to me hes so perfect i love him and like he said theres a chance he likes me so i fucking hope we end up together cus if we dont i will probably just ctb lmao but god he said theres a chance we're literally perfect for eachother tmi and nsfw but
i'm an insane masochist he's extremely sadistic and everything he says is so fucking hot holy christ
and he's also so sweet and nice at the same time and i fucking love him and i need to get better so i can have him
why am i like this lmao
genuinely wtf is wrong with me to make me this way idc honestly all i have is autism and adhd i've hbad a fine life other than those i suspect the adhd i guess
god i wanna be immortal so he can kill me over and over and over and do horrible things to my body and do the worst things ever to me god im sorry i'm just insane rn he could do literally anything he wanted to me and i'd be fine with it i wanna be his pet just to be collared and leashed and abused and hurt but it all makes me wanna live now ironically
 
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The Actual Devil

The Actual Devil

I Go By Many Names: Can You Say 10? ⛧
May 4, 2025
265
he's extremely sadistic
he's also so sweet and nice at the same time

So, he's like a Soft Dom, then? There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you remember to have a safe word. Also, have "safe gestures," like tapping your foot a certain way, if your mouth is... you know... occupied.
(Hey, this is an NSFW post, Ima roll with it 🙃)

Anyway, I'm glad to hear you've found a reason to live. Maybe this ember of hope will ignite a greater passion for life that won't be snuffed out if things with him don't last forever. I've said more than once in life, "She's the one for me; my soulmate," and it was never true because, well, I ended up saying it more than once!
My point is, I hope you get to experience a love so grand that even if it ends, it leaves you hopeful and hungry for more.
Best of luck to you!
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
So, he's like a Soft Dom, then? There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you remember to have a safe word. Also, have "safe gestures," like tapping your foot a certain way, if your mouth is... you know... occupied.
(Hey, this is an NSFW post, Ima roll with it 🙃)

Anyway, I'm glad to hear you've found a reason to live. Maybe this ember of hope will ignite a greater passion for life that won't be snuffed out if things with him don't last forever. I've said more than once in life, "She's the one for me; my soulmate," and it was never true because, well, I ended up saying it more than once!
My point is, I hope you get to experience a love so grand that even if it ends, it leaves you hopeful and hungry for more.
Best of luck to you!
he's not at all soft really idk he's extremely sadistic he's just super nice outside of that
also its all online rn so dw if we ever meet up we'll do it all safely he has experience (i dont lmao)
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
holy shit lmao i just gained a ton of confidence randomly and started acting super bratty and i think he liked it they call me the rizzlord
also i cleaned my room and like got a bunch of good doujin reccomendations from him (and send him my entire ao3 bookmarks section and sent him the thing to make an account) and found out he has a father/daughter con thing like i do (cry about it if you have a problem its fiction its a kink it hurts no one its not morally wrong in any way ban me if you want idc i obviously do not think its good when it happens irl for real but i can seperate fiction/kink from reality. antis go cry about it.) he called me his daughter at one point it was so based hat we might be so fucking back lmao im gonna make it boys
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
jesus christ yeah i'm sorry for all of this this was very tmi lmao i kinda lowkey don't regret it though
also the drugs kinda made me realise i'm lowkey like kinda nb but not really like im 80-70% woman 30-20% like unknowable thing and fuck with she/it pronouns
 
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The Actual Devil

The Actual Devil

I Go By Many Names: Can You Say 10? ⛧
May 4, 2025
265
I'm in no place to kink shame anyone, lol. Glad you and he seem to be hitting it off. And yeah, he doesn't sound like a Soft Dom, but you seem to like the role of Bratty Sub, so more power to you. Have fun and stay safe out there!
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
I'm in no place to kink shame anyone, lol. Glad you and he seem to be hitting it off. And yeah, he doesn't sound like a Soft Dom, but you seem to like the role of Bratty Sub, so more power to you. Have fun and stay safe out there!
i'm like half bratty half like idfk what i am lmao sometimes i get super flirty and sometimes im like keysmashing and melting after he either calls me cute or tells me hes gonna rip all my fingernails out with pliers lmao
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,760
Everything you said is totally relateable, with how obsessed you are with the person you love and also all the kinks and wanting to be someones pet, and be owned and abused by them and that making you want to live. For me that would make me feel so valued and wanted. I imgine that you will face problems when you not with him like with when you weren't with besties which is stuff i have faced as well. I hope this works for you.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
Everything you said is totally relateable, with how obsessed you are with the person you love and also all the kinks and wanting to be someones pet, and be owned and abused by them and that making you want to live. For me that would make me feel so valued and wanted. I imgine that you will face problems when you not with him like with when you weren't with besties which is stuff i have faced as well. I hope this works for you.
yeah lowkey i miss him whenever he's not around and usually all i can think about is him but im on the lsdxm afterglow rn and like 90mg dhc which aint much but is probably helping me be calm and normal about not missing him
i asked if he hated me like 15 times while high and he accused me of having attachment issues lmao (maybe he's right who knows) it's like the mask just got ripped off and everything turned to kinda 11 even if that is also how it is while sober alot of the time but also i have trouble understanding myself/my own feelings (i lowkey have like a bunch of different conflicting personality traits that change and shift constantly and feel like not human like thats why i feel lowkey nb like 70% woman 30% just like idk thing? it also feels easier to talk about myself in the third person which another friend pointed out i do ages ago lmao. i relate to her kinda cus she was like obsessed with a guy last night too and we related over alot of stuff like our insane masochism even if im a bit more of one than she is)
cant believe lsdxm helped me put all this into words so much and actually say it
but ye how i feel about him is very similar to the besties but even stronger but i've kinda chilled out about them now but friendships still like kinda stress me out but idc about alot rn cus again afterglow im pretty sure
also getting everything out and realising it helped alot
oh my god he also likes this other doujin me and my besties love (my sweet bunny cage)
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,798
or tells me hes gonna rip all my fingernails out with pliers lmao
I'd say to not meet this guy IRL and to not give your personal details away. Do you have anyone (family/friends/mental health professionals/social workers/etc) that can help you with the drug usage/etc?
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
I'd say to not meet this guy IRL and to not give your personal details away. Do you have anyone (family/friends/mental health professionals/social workers/etc) that can help you with the drug usage/etc?
wtf do you mean lmao i'll met whoever i want and tell him whatever i want
also the mental health team can help with the drugs but i still wanna use them i just wanna use them less but for fun like i sometimes do and be able to not do it if i dont want to. idk if that makes sense basically i wanna be able to atleast control my usage better but i still wanna use
 
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Shadows From Hell

Shadows From Hell

The one who has lost a lot, fears nothing.
Oct 21, 2024
393
If you met him online, and not irl, please be careful and watch yourself. Meeting online and the other person making a bunch of unfounded promises is a red flag.

I can tell you now, that if he starts asking for money, or any of your personal info, that's the biggest red flag you can get.

Be. Careful. Don't set your heart up to be destroyed.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
I'd say to not meet this guy IRL and to not give your personal details away. Do you have anyone (family/friends/mental health professionals/social workers/etc) that can help you with the drug usage/etc?
but no actually back to this can you not just assume i don't know what i'm doing or that hes secretly super evil and also not tell me what to do with my life can i atleast get like an apology or an admission of guilt or something
(also lowkey if he was actually secretly super evil irl he'd be pretending to be nice rn and not being open about his insane sadism i don't think but even so if we ever met up i know how to do it safely)
If you met him online, and not irl, please be careful and watch yourself. Meeting online and the other person making a bunch of unfounded promises is a red flag.

I can tell you now, that if he starts asking for money, or any of your personal info, that's the biggest red flag you can get.

Be. Careful. Don't set your heart up to be destroyed.
also ye ofc i met him online but we've been talking for ages now he's just a normal person (well obv not hes insane like me but not in a bad way) and he's been pretty honest so far and hasnt asked for any of that
and i know how to be safe again as stated in a previous message
asnd it'll be a while probably till/if we meet up we live in different countries seperated by an ocean we just flirt and chat for now
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,798
but no actually back to this can you not just assume i don't know what i'm doing or that hes secretly super evil and also not tell me what to do with my life can i atleast get like an apology or an admission of guilt or something
My bad, I didn't mean to command you to anything. It sounded in my head like I was just commenting; I thought the "I'd say" in the beginning took the edge off.

Anyway, maybe I'm just talking to myself back when I was in an impulsive state of mind, on "medication", etc, and would've wished for people to stop me from making everything worse. Since you mentioned drugs, too, I thought it was worth the risk of offence to put up a warning.

Alright, take care (if you want to).
 
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,377
Damn OK,Allright,

More power to you OP,if it makes you happy fine,

I mean I don't even,so I won't even,

ok-alright.gif
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
aaaa he lets me call him dad and he calls me his daughter/kiddo/etc skdhdhfjdhddjhdjddh i love him sm
Kiss him on the lips 😳
i wanna make out with him while he hurts me so i yelp into his mouth :3
sadly this is online only rn
also he called me insane cus i spent apparently 4 hours high on xanax+dhc+weed telling him a bunch of things i wanted him to do to me
he also said "On one hand forcing you to stay up is hot but on the other I do want to squeeze in another hour of sleep before work" when he told me to go sleep and i asked if it was an order lmao
 
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25dRvS9Ka

25dRvS9Ka

Mel
Jun 11, 2025
23
aaaa he lets me call him dad and he calls me his daughter/kiddo/etc skdhdhfjdhddjhdjddh i love him sm

i wanna make out with him while he hurts me so i yelp into his mouth :3
sadly this is online only rn
also he called me insane cus i spent apparently 4 hours high on xanax+dhc+weed telling him a bunch of things i wanted him to do to me
he also said "On one hand forcing you to stay up is hot but on the other I do want to squeeze in another hour of sleep before work" when he told me to go sleep and i asked if it was an order lmao
Oh damn that's pretty hot ❤️‍🔥 ajdhishsosbsiwbsjwhwjw hmmmmmmm

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
 
pengin

pengin

Femenine wizard
Oct 6, 2023
7
Try to lower your crazy before you make a move you don't want to scare him. But that aside, be careful, lots of people die due to sadistic roleplay. A peer called me once to assist a man who enjoyed getting stabbed by his girl; she did too much this time, and it was a struggle to save him.
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,377
Try to lower your crazy before you make a move you don't want to scare him. But that aside, be careful, lots of people die due to sadistic roleplay. A peer called me once to assist a man who enjoyed getting stabbed by his girl; she did too much this time, and it was a struggle to save him.
They're both into each other and this is what OP wants Apparently . they're willing to risk it.
Let's just wish them the best.
 
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pengin

pengin

Femenine wizard
Oct 6, 2023
7
You are right. Dying that way sounds pretty dope compared to just killing yourself.
You are right. Dying that way sounds pretty dope compared to just killing yourself.
kinda like the "bleeding out in the snow" thing but for not so sound women
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,848
Honestly, I don't get the point of doing all of this if you are only planning on recovering for the sake of some random dude you met on the internet who you happen to be lusting over. If you plan on recovering then you should do so for yourself or at least for those around you who actually know or care about you, not for some horny online rando.
 
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ForeverSleepy

ForeverSleepy

Member
Feb 12, 2023
29
ok so im crazy obsessed with this guy rn he is everything to me hes so perfect i love him and like he said theres a chance he likes me so i fucking hope we end up together cus if we dont i will probably just ctb lmao but god he said theres a chance we're literally perfect for eachother tmi and nsfw but
i'm an insane masochist he's extremely sadistic and everything he says is so fucking hot holy christ
and he's also so sweet and nice at the same time and i fucking love him and i need to get better so i can have him
why am i like this lmao
genuinely wtf is wrong with me to make me this way idc honestly all i have is autism and adhd i've hbad a fine life other than those i suspect the adhd i guess
god i wanna be immortal so he can kill me over and over and over and do horrible things to my body and do the worst things ever to me god im sorry i'm just insane rn he could do literally anything he wanted to me and i'd be fine with it i wanna be his pet just to be collared and leashed and abused and hurt but it all makes me wanna live now ironically
Hope you two hit it off well, I am happy you found happiness and motivation in someone, I wish you good luck!! If it doesn't work out (which I really doubt) just make sure to check in <3 Have fun.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
My bad, I didn't mean to command you to anything. It sounded in my head like I was just commenting; I thought the "I'd say" in the beginning took the edge off.

Anyway, maybe I'm just talking to myself back when I was in an impulsive state of mind, on "medication", etc, and would've wished for people to stop me from making everything worse. Since you mentioned drugs, too, I thought it was worth the risk of offence to put up a warning.

Alright, take care (if you want to).
dw it's fine i've calmed down i was just setting my foot down cus that kinda annoyed me but i understand and thanks you tzake care too (if you want)
oh god hes degrading me and threatening to kill me in dms kljhfslksdfjfkjfdslkjsdjd sorry im going insane
Try to lower your crazy before you make a move you don't want to scare him. But that aside, be careful, lots of people die due to sadistic roleplay. A peer called me once to assist a man who enjoyed getting stabbed by his girl; she did too much this time, and it was a struggle to save him.
i've already made several and i genuinely wouldnt mind him killing me if he didnt get punished legaally
Oh damn that's pretty hot ❤️‍🔥 ajdhishsosbsiwbsjwhwjw hmmmmmmm

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
ifkr he said alot tonight heres some highlights:

Stupid fucking junkie daughter is getting scammed on the dark web because she needs to be high to feel like a real person (she isn't one)

Plunging a bayonet into your chest, through your breast right above your heart, and forcing is down very slowly so I can feel the beating thrash and stop as I push the blade through your left ventricle

i said "but again unironically i wanna state i hereby give pre-consent for if you ever feel frustrated or bad or negative to do this to take it out on me if that would help you just do anything you want o me i give you permission for anything except pre-discussed limits"

I'll do more than just spit on your corpse
I want your last moments to be terrifying
I want to watch the light leave your eyes and those final moments of terror in your face as you realize what I'm preparing to do with your body as your mind drifts off into nothingness

You're really getting this flustered over being reminded how little you're worth?

You could be thrown to the ground, kicked, pissed on, and beaten till your vision is clouded and your ears ring and you'd still love someone who fucking hates you
What a genuine waste of a person, you barely qualify as human
Calling you a person is insulting to all people
You barely qualify as a piece of meat

You're actually happy just being an object for someone who doesn't love you back

If you dropped dead right now I doubt I'd really care all that much, I'd probably move on with my life pretty quickly
Right now, to me, you're just a mentally ill girl who is offering her life to me, and I care so little about you that I'm willing to take your offer and show you no love or gratitude in exchange
I don't love you, I barely even like you, sometimes I find you more annoying than anything else
But hurting you feels really nice so here I am I guess

You went from telling me you liked me to asking me to call you my daughter in like a month, it's honestly very fucking embarrassing I share the same air as you
You really have no shame or self worth

It's very sweet that you love me but honestly it's kind of pathetic how much you're willing to wear your heart on your sleeves for a narcissist who doesn't love you back

I usually don't like people first and it takes me a while to catch feelings for anyone so right now you're just something annoying that pokes me way too often and that I like to imagine fucking and abusing when I'm frustrated

We aren't even dating, I see you more as a sex object which is also my daughter

(after me asking him to tell me he hates me)
I mean it wouldn't be that hard
I barely even do like you

godd i love how cruel he can be i wanna be a sex object for him and his daughter and skdhdskflsdflkhdfhksldkfhfksdhlkhdfkhlsdhfddsklfdlkhsdhkdfksdhl
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/it, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
569
also didnt realise yall would be so accepting of kink
 
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