I used to lurk here as someone who wanted to end it. I now want to hold the torch for others in recovery. I got all of my mental illnesses cured!

[etherealgoddess]

My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.

I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.

This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:

Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.

P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.

I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad.

Awesome.

BTW, I also made an account after the CTB wishes faded from high to low.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Could you explain a bit how you undertook this process alone? I feel too ashamed and hopeless to work with an expert even if I could find one where I live

 

[etherealgoddess]

Could you explain a bit how you undertook this process alone? I feel too ashamed and hopeless to work with an expert even if I could find one where I live

I did inner child healing meditation. It's on Youtube. The process is to essentially to feel your body. Once you are connected to your body, try to get into old memories from childhood. You will feel them maybe 45 minutes into really having awareness of your body. It gets faster and faster over time. Then you feel the emotions you felt as a child and then switch the dialogue to you as a parent and what you truly needed in that moment--love or comfort or safety. it's painful. Go slower and make sure to mentally dial the pain down. It took me about 200 hours over the past 6 months to feel so content. The first 3 months got the main depressive symptoms away but was still dissociative. I did go INSANELY intensive. It would be more realistic to get 50 hours in that amount of time.

 

[Lions303]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm really happy and proud of you for finding peace and being at ease in life. Being on a similar journey, its good to know that the process will be life changing and will turn out for the better. I really appreciate you, sharing this is like youre being a light at the end of the tunnel <3

 

[avalokitesvara]

Thank you for sharing. This is extremely interesting to me and I think could be really helpful. I'm so glad you have healed yourself and are feeling content in life- that's so amazing and you can be so proud that you were able to actually save yourself! Major congratulations due. I hope it stays this way for you <3 Take care

 

[London2005]

thank you so much for sharing this!! I will keep this in mind and apply it to my life, I needed something like this

 

[monkeysee2]

I did inner child healing meditation. It's on Youtube. The process is to essentially to feel your body. Once you are connected to your body, try to get into old memories from childhood. You will feel them maybe 45 minutes into really having awareness of your body. It gets faster and faster over time. Then you feel the emotions you felt as a child and then switch the dialogue to you as a parent and what you truly needed in that moment--love or comfort or safety. it's painful. Go slower and make sure to mentally dial the pain down. It took me about 200 hours over the past 6 months to feel so content. The first 3 months got the main depressive symptoms away but was still dissociative. I did go INSANELY intensive. It would be more realistic to get 50 hours in that amount of time.

Thanks for sharing! Do you have a link to the video?

Would you say the painful emotions are gone now or just diminished?

 

[kazatte]

thank you so much for sharing this :) i definitely needed to hear something like this, and i can tell by the responses here that many others did as well. i'm very proud of you and happy for you!!

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.

 

[Dot]

Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr

I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.

Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

Free Resource Centre - Irene Lyon

Free Online Trainings It is rather refreshing to sit and watch the videos, I sit here nodding along to the contents being taught. It's a reflection of sections of my life. I thought I was fearless at times, but actually it was that mask you described - put on for a

irenelyon.com

 

[Namelesa Graves]

Translation:

Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr

I have asked for your thread to be added to the Recovery Success Stories thread as inspiration that other people can potentially recover.

Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds

To be fair they said YouTube was only 1 part of their self-connection processes and that they used it in combination with other methods.

Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

Free Resource Centre - Irene Lyon

Free Online Trainings It is rather refreshing to sit and watch the videos, I sit here nodding along to the contents being taught. It's a reflection of sections of my life. I thought I was fearless at times, but actually it was that mask you described - put on for a

irenelyon.com

Skepticism is healthy and okay but again to be honest people do not often post recovery success stories and I am not sure what you are seeing 'often'

also the method that Original Poster described makes sense and does not carry much risk of injury so am not sure what damage will happen other than it will not work for some people.

I agree that it always best to work with professional wherever possible but there are users on the forum who do not have that luxury.

I have linked some free somatic experiencing resources for anyone else considering that method.

There is also a section explaining somatic experiencing on Therapy Methods Explained Thread.

Free Resource Centre - Irene Lyon

Free Online Trainings It is rather refreshing to sit and watch the videos, I sit here nodding along to the contents being taught. It's a reflection of sections of my life. I thought I was fearless at times, but actually it was that mask you described - put on for a

irenelyon.com

 

[etherealgoddess]

Thanks for sharing! Do you have a link to the video?

Would you say the painful emotions are gone now or just diminished?

This is the link. I literally only used this video as well as sometimes listen to a sad song or an angry song if I needed more emotional charge:


The painful emotions are far easier to access now and are not nearly as painful. I still feel the emotional flashbacks because I went through torture my whole life and am still processing that it happened to me, but because I am so in tune with myself, I can start processing almost immediately. It's like 30 minutes of gentle crying every 3 days versus before it would take 3 hours not even including that it would take 45 minutes to get into my body and feel it all. I can feel my emotions a lot easier, and it's just not SUFFERING. Like it is not agony to wake up everyday anymore. It's a fucking RELIEF. It used to be AGONY. The process gets easier and easier. I don't get triggered anymore unless a healing session is due (I feel kind of depressive when I have a crying session due). But 6 months in with intensive healing, it's super easy to just cry for 30 minutes and hug myself so it releases and feel connected back to myself again.

Healing did this. It does not make you permanently happy. But this is how I would describe it. When you're unhealed, you have so much pain all the time, and because so much sadness is in there, you're constantly in agony. You feel restless or addictive, and once that adrenaline or dopamine runs out, you're in a full-blown depression. Healing makes the ups and downs go to little ups and downs. I feel happy but in a much more relaxed way. I don't get major highs but also don't get major lows. I also feel a lot more content about living in general. I can just stare at the sunset and be totally chill. It's a different kind of happiness.

Painful emotions will never go away. But the real suffering is from holding it in. I can say that I do not feel suffering at all. I feel sadness. But not suffering.

I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.

I don't recommend doing it on your own, but in my situation, I had no choice but to go alone. I was too emotionally broken to go to a therapist. I was like a scared puppy, and all relationships scared me. I had my ex for a while, and the first few months, I had to spend so much energy fighting myself to not destroy the relationship by running away. It was too exhausting to put a relationship on top when my emotional pain was a 10/10.

It did cure me, though. I genuinely used to have chronic health problems, severe ADHD, anxiety, addiction, OCD, OCPD, and more. All of that stopped in the past few months. These symptoms only come up when I have to deal with a healing session, but it's extremely mild at this point and very easy to keep under control. I do have huge respect for people with PhD's, and I do acknowledge how so many people want to sell something or intentionally or unintentionally hurt others with misinformation, but this is an experience that truly did cure me, and I will stand by those words.

It took me 6 months because I went max intensity. I do not recommend it, but I was in that much agony that I went for it. I knew it was going to be agony, but the relief I feel right now makes it all worth it. I was dealing with anxious thoughts from the day I woke up until I went to bed. It was agony to live. And I felt the relief when I started. So I essentially maxxed it out. I do not recommend it, but I was desperate. And it worked for me. My body was failing me before, so I had no choice but to get the relief ASAP. And once the ball started rolling, it was so much agony I just went full speed to get over it ASAP. It would take 7 years if you're going at a more moderate pace. On the other hand, I stopped everything I was doing and maxxed out all of my emotional energy to process as much as possible. I obviously have slowed down because I don't need it, but I had to do it for my individual situation.

This is another thing to warn everyone about though: be careful about processing and make sure you dial the pain down so that you aren't retraumatizing your body. You can process without tons of pain. I think for me once the ball started rolling it was agony, so I wanted to get over it fast, but if you don't feel that much in agony, I'd say slow down.

Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr



Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds



Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

Free Resource Centre - Irene Lyon

Free Online Trainings It is rather refreshing to sit and watch the videos, I sit here nodding along to the contents being taught. It's a reflection of sections of my life. I thought I was fearless at times, but actually it was that mask you described - put on for a

irenelyon.com

Yes, Youtube was one part of it. I did also EMDR sitting on my own listening to angry music. But it's essentially just letting the body release whatever built-up energy there is via crying, feeling angry, or letting the nerves fire.

I get the skepticism. But I agree... you probably won't get that much damage if you do it wrong. I probably went a little too harsh, but I also don't regret it because I personally was in so much agony when I started and was desperate for relief. If you know the trauma will retraumatize you, dial the pain down and process one aspect of it at a time. For me, I have a lot of CPTSD, so it's a lot of moderately painful situations that accumulated into a ton of pain VS a ton of insanely traumatic events. I have a few insanely traumatic events where I have to heal it in portions because it's too painful all at once.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr



Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds



Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

Free Resource Centre - Irene Lyon

Free Online Trainings It is rather refreshing to sit and watch the videos, I sit here nodding along to the contents being taught. It's a reflection of sections of my life. I thought I was fearless at times, but actually it was that mask you described - put on for a

irenelyon.com

The damage is a person who is not a trained medical professional literally saying in the title of their post "I got all of my mental illnesses cured!". I know a lot of us have had problems with medical professionals, but at least with them there are licensing bodies and ways to verify someone's experiences because they are trained. Unless 'ethereal goddess' has some training they can share, I caution anyone saying listening to some Youtube videos can CURE your mental illnesses.

I agree there is value in understanding somatic therapy - and when I've done it, having a therapist was essential. Clearly you don't see the danger in the OP's post. I'm not going to bother having a discussion. I am broke and haven't had enough food today because I could barely function to eat. So maybe i should just meditate and cure my illnesses and hunger.

This is another thing to warn everyone about though: be careful about processing and make sure you dial the pain down so that you aren't retraumatizing your body. You can process without tons of pain. I think for me once the ball started rolling it was agony, so I wanted to get over it fast, but if you don't feel that much in agony, I'd say slow down.

Convenient you happen to put this in the conversation rather than the original post. I caution everyone to not listen to someone who is not a trained medical professional who is clearly acting like they are one.

This is a community to share resources and support, but I think you're very, very close to violating a lot of what makes this community supportive Thankfully we can chose to ignore you.

 

[memento-mori]

happy for you
thanks for sharing your story

 

[Dot]

The damage is a person who is not a trained medical professional literally saying in the title of their post "I got all of my mental illnesses cured!". I know a lot of us have had problems with medical professionals, but at least with them there are licensing bodies and ways to verify someone's experiences because they are trained. Unless 'ethereal goddess' has some training they can share, I caution anyone saying listening to some Youtube videos can CURE your mental illnesses.

I agree there is value in understanding somatic therapy - and when I've done it, having a therapist was essential. Clearly you don't see the danger in the OP's post. I'm not going to bother having a discussion. I am broke and haven't had enough food today because I could barely function to eat. So maybe i should just meditate and cure my illnesses and hunger.


Convenient you happen to put this in the conversation rather than the original post. I

caution everyone to not listen to someone who is not a trained medical professional who is clearly acting like they are one.

This is a community to share resources and support, but I think you're very, very close to violating a lot of what makes this community supportive Thankfully we can chose to ignore you.

OP = sharng an xpernce of wht workd fr thm & thy r sharng wht thy hve lernd in hpes tht = wll inspre othr ppl

Thy r nt tellng ppl tht = wll wrk fr thm & tht = wll cure evry1 els

If thy wre postng 'follw ths YT vdeo & u wll all b curd' etc thn slf wld undrstnd whre u r comng frm bt thy r speakng frm a persnl perspctve of wht helpd thm & dscribng sme of th/ undr-lyng thery b-hnd th/ apprch tht thy followd

Sme1 = allowd 2 sy tht thy r curd if thr symptms tht thy suffrd wth thru thr lfe hve dsppeard or tht thr qualty of lfe hs substantlly increasd whch = lks 2 b th/ cse - wht ppl shld *nt* b doin = diagnosng *othr* ppl etc or makng sweepng promses tht wht workd fr thm wll defntly cure evrybdy els bt OP = nt doin tht -- also OP = nt directng ppl t/ dangrs rsourcs - jst a YT medtatn vdeo -- & ths = comng frm sme1 whse lfe ws persnlly dstroyd frm doin th/ wrng typ of YT hypnoss vdeo

OP hs shard thr stry & adlt usrs nd 2 d/ thr du dilgnce & rsearch thngs on thr own or if thy cn lk fr practitnrs wh/ cn gude thm thru th/ newr apprch tht OP ws dscribng

If u hve an issu wth wordng of titl thn rport & am sre tht mds cn chck & ask fr sme tweakng if thre r cncerns abt n.ethng b-ing ms-leadng

 

[rainwillneverstop]

OP = sharng an xpernce of wht workd fr thm & thy r sharng wht thy hve lernd in hpes tht = wll inspre othr ppl

Thy r nt tellng ppl tht = wll wrk fr thm & tht = wll cure evry1 els

If thy wre postng 'follw ths YT vdeo & u wll all b curd' etc thn slf wld undrstnd whre u r comng frm bt thy r speakng frm a persnl perspctve of wht helpd thm & dscribng sme of th/ undr-lyng thery b-hnd th/ apprch tht thy followd

Sme1 = allowd 2 sy tht thy r curd if thr symptms tht thy suffrd wth thru thr lfe hve dsppeard or tht thr qualty of lfe hs substantlly increasd whch = lks 2 b th/ cse - wht ppl shld *nt* b doin = diagnosng *othr* ppl etc or makng sweepng promses tht wht workd fr thm wll defntly cure evrybdy els bt OP = nt doin tht -- also OP = nt directng ppl t/ dangrs rsourcs - jst a YT medtatn vdeo -- & ths = comng frm sme1 whse lfe ws persnlly dstroyd frm doin th/ wrng typ of YT hypnoss vdeo

OP hs shard thr stry & adlt usrs nd 2 d/ thr du dilgnce & rsearch thngs on thr own or if thy cn lk fr practitnrs wh/ cn gude thm thru th/ newr apprch tht OP ws dscribng

If u hve an issu wth wordng of titl thn rport & am sre tht mds cn chck & ask fr sme tweakng if thre r cncerns abt n.ethng b-ing ms-leadng

Translating just for reference.

OP is sharing an experience of what worked for them, and they are sharing what they have learned in hopes that it will inspire other people.

They are not telling people that it will work for them, and that it will cure everyone ekse.

If they were posting 'follow this YT video and you will all be cured' etc then I would understand where you're coming from, but they are speaking from a personal perspective of what helped them, and describing some of the underlying theory behind the approach they followed.

Someone is allowed to say that they are cured if their symptoms that they suffered with through life has disappeared or that their quality of life has substantially increased, which it looks to be the case. What other people should not be doing is diagnosing other people etc. or making sweeping promises that what worked for them will definitely cure everybody else. But OP is not doing that.
Also OP is not directing people to dangerous resources, just a YT meditation video and this is coming from someone whose life was personally destroyed from doing the wrong type of YT hypnosis video

OP has shared their story and adult users need to do due diligence and research things on their own or if they can look for practitioners who can guide them through the newer approach OP was describing.

If you have an issue with wording of title then report and I'm sure that mods can check and ask for some tweaking there are concerns about anything being misleading

End of 'translation.'

On a personal note, no need to report anything. There's nothing misleading in the post, its just someone telling about their personal experience and what helped for them. They aren't pushing other users or giving false promises. They are just saying what worked for them.
They are allowed to do that, and don't need a doctors note as proof before sharing their experience.

Also it's posted in the recovery section, hopefully this will be the end of the discussion.

 

[Keridwen]

My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.

I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.

This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:

Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.

P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.

I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.

I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved, and your story gives me hope that I can follow the same path.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Working on racking up their own YT video count probably. I don't trust, nor believe everything I see on YT.

 

[Willy Wonka]

somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback

could you please go a bit more into details of these specific healing techniques? I´m really interested to try these on my own. where I live, EMDR is covered by insurance but I didn´t find a therapist yet and I don´t think that I´ll find one that also includes the other methods you mentioned + I´m not able to pay for that myself. thanks! I´ll start with checking out that YouTube-video you shared ;)

 

[kissmegoodbye]

this post is incredibly helpful.. i also used to go on here to try to find methods but im trying very hard now to recover. i want to be happy and live a good life with my boyfriend who is so good to me and gives me a reason to live, but sadly past trauma doesnt disappear just from that promise. i have gone through some sessions of EMDR myself but i dont think it was enough to really do anything.. im not a fan of therapy and dont want to get into it again.. seeing someone else who has had excruciating mental health issues like i do be able to recover truly does give me more hope, even if i havent tried the methods yet just knowing someone else could do it really makes me feel so much better, thank you for sharing, you already have helped someone get closer to recovery ♡ im grateful really, have a lovely day ♡♡♡

 

[etherealgoddess]

could you please go a bit more into details of these specific healing techniques? I´m really interested to try these on my own. where I live, EMDR is covered by insurance but I didn´t find a therapist yet and I don´t think that I´ll find one that also includes the other methods you mentioned + I´m not able to pay for that myself. thanks! I´ll start with checking out that YouTube-video you shared ;)

Somatic healing. The trauma is that you had painful emotions but felt unsafe or unloved. You don't need to go back into traumatic memories and make yourself feel good. Feeling bad wasn't the trauma. The trauma was dealing with the painful emotions while feeling unsafe, alone, or unloved. You work on feeling loved and safe despite the pain you felt in that moment. The same way that the painful words traumatized you is the same way that loving words to yourself will heal you. The memories of feeling unloved or unsafe are actually stuck in your body. Every time you went through a traumatic memory, your body stored it as pain. It then manifests as fear or pain that pushes you into addiction. The part of your psyche that was there gets stunted. It's not permanent, though. You can rewire your brain with love and healing.

All the traumatized parts of you are the little girl who is still stuck in time calling out for help. The way I see it is the pain is yourself stuck in time still crying out for help. She needs that help. That's the healing. There are probably hundreds of versions of yourself as a child where you are still crying out for help. You have to go back and help her.

I did this all on my own. My advice is to just keep experimenting. I didn't do just EMDR over and over. I'd switch to somatic healing if I felt like EMDR wasn't doing it. You have to experiment and then see if you get the relief. You keep trying to get the relief. It is not a linear approach. You will have to switch a lot and allow the body to guide the journey and bring up the memories.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

https://mosaicwaycounseling.com/2023/06/01/why-self-administered-emdr-is-a-bad-idea/ - I strongly advise people to not do EMDR on their own, and I'm again concerned about the misinformation in this thread.

I have had EMDR in a therapeutic office setting using the proper equipment (either lights or sound) for bilateral simulation by a trained therapist. We would do a session in preparation (talking through the trauma), the actual EMDR session (reliving the trauma), and a post-session debrief to talk through what happened. When we talk about gentle bilateral stimulation techniques, there is a way to do these that helps with self soothing, but EMDR is not something you can do without clinical support without real damage. I confirmed this with my therapist (who is a trained psychologist with multiple certificates in trauma). I've spent about 7 sessions in EMDR (in addition to 2 years with this therapist) and it's life changing. It's also not something you can do on your own and you need a therapist to help partner with you.

We as a community have to ensure in an era where misinformation is rampant that people are able to find accurate info about therapies like EMDR.

 

[Dot]

https://mosaicwaycounseling.com/2023/06/01/why-self-administered-emdr-is-a-bad-idea/ - I strongly advise people to not do EMDR on their own, and I'm again concerned about the misinformation in this thread.

I have had EMDR in a therapeutic office setting using the proper equipment (either lights or sound) for bilateral simulation by a trained therapist. We would do a session in preparation (talking through the trauma), the actual EMDR session (reliving the trauma), and a post-session debrief to talk through what happened. When we talk about gentle bilateral stimulation techniques, there is a way to do these that helps with self soothing, but EMDR is not something you can do without clinical support without real damage. I confirmed this with my therapist (who is a trained psychologist with multiple certificates in trauma). I've spent about 7 sessions in EMDR (in addition to 2 years with this therapist) and it's life changing. It's also not something you can do on your own and you need a therapist to help partner with you.

We as a community have to ensure in an era where misinformation is rampant that people are able to find accurate info about therapies like EMDR.

Slf agree ^^^^^

Somatc Xperncng & bdy scns etc wld genrlly b ok as thre r lts of free rsourcs whch r gntle bt EMDR cn b v d-stablisng evn wth therpsts s/ slf agree wth ths pst abt findng professnl

Imo EFT mght b bettr fr ppl wantng 2 slf-hlp as = mch lss invasve & lss chnce of thngs goin wrng

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Wanted to add my own two cents as someone who is dissociative (Dissociative Identity Disorder, Polyfragmented).

If you have high levels of dissociation, self-guided EMDR-esque methods can particularly dangerous. It isn't as simple as healing your inner child, there are layers of walls and barriers (and possibly "other children" if your dissociation causes any sort of alters/plurality), and when those walls are not navigated properly, things get bad FAST.

I've had barriers come down at once. There's no healing your inner child when your brain goes into self-destruct mode to escape.

And if yall are thinking "that doesn't apply to me!" ...C-PTSD puts many at risk for this. DP/DR too. No system needed.

 

[etherealgoddess]

My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.

I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.

This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:

Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.

P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.

I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.

Wanted to make an update on my progress.

I finished my healing permanently about a month ago. When I made this, I was already at the end. I had a couple of regressions since I made this, but by now, I would already have a regression. I have had none. It is permanently finished. This challenges the notion that "healing is a lifelong process." I finished it in nine months. I will update if something comes up, but I really do doubt it because I never went longer than two weeks without a regression.

I have no desire to commit suicide. I do not feel depressed at all. I do feel bored because the healing has completely changed my personality, and I don't know what I like anymore. I value different things, so it's a journey to rediscover myself.

My full healing with a history of extreme C-PTSD took me about 250 hours of healing. You can do, on average, one hour per day. It usually looks like 3 hours every 3 days. It took me a total of nine months. And I am free from the mental shackles. It slowly went from 3 hours every 3 days to getting to 2 hours. Sometimes it would take the whole day because I would have to play around and experiment with what would actually help to release it. It changes based on the memory. But then by the end, I was doing about 20-30 min every day, and the intensity was much lower by the end. The intensity and time lowered over time.

Sometimes I find it surprising how beautiful the world is. But it's also like... sometimes I miss the chaotic crazy highs lol. Something I am getting used to is the fact that I don't have anything that I really crave. I like everything and dislike everything in a nonintense way. I can do things that I have to do very easily, but I also don't get the satisfaction that I normally would before from hobbies because it's like everything is just not as intense. It's a strange experience. Maybe I need to find new hobbies to adapt to my new personality (because of healing). I'm working on it. Before, it was super hard to pull myself off a Youtube video or a video game. Now it's effortless.

I also notice that I am not as jaded. Being treated like shit makes me want to leave (love the healing for that), but I don't feel so bothered by it like I would in the past. Before, a friendship breakup or relationship breakup would be really hard. I resorted to isolation because the pain was way too much. But I think I might actually be able to handle a social life. I can get over people and situations so quickly. It's not emotional immunity. It's more so that everything hurts a lot less, and it's a lot easier to get over it.

Also... what shocks me is how easy it is to function as a human being. Like WTFF???????? IT WAS THIS EASY??? No wonder these kids I knew in school who weren't nearly as smart as me could get way better grades. I couldn't brush my teeth and wash my face everyday before because it was so hard. Now it's effortless to do like a normal day of human work. Like WOOHOOOOOOO!!!

There is hope if you are reading this (unless you are terminally ill or something).

 

[EmptyBottle]

Wanted to make an update on my progress.

I finished my healing permanently about a month ago. When I made this, I was already at the end. I had a couple of regressions since I made this, but by now, I would already have a regression. I have had none. It is permanently finished. This challenges the notion that "healing is a lifelong process." I finished it in nine months. I will update if something comes up, but I really do doubt it because I never went longer than two weeks without a regression.

Awesome that you managed to finish the healing process.

There is hope if you are reading this (unless you are terminally ill or something).

Even with terminal illness, one's thoughts about it can potentially be eased, and good palliative care can be quite helpful (yes, even the strongest pain medications that can be safely prescribed have their limits, tho there may be medical options for reducing consciousness, etc... and some may look forward to the afterlife)

 

[TooMuch.]

Are you like trying to sell something or like?

 

[EmptyBottle]

Are you like trying to sell something or like?

That's an interesting question... didn't even think that the post could be a hidden invitation to PM and get some product or smth.

Hope that isn't the case, and the bold claim was just unedited thought.

I'd not used cured to describe my reduction in CTB wishes... since there can be certain circumstances that will make them return, even unrelated to the original triggers of escaping from tasks I dread, and how parents may react to me being too "stuck" to complete them.

PS: in case the thread is deleted, I have saved a copy to my disk.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Are you like trying to sell something or like?

No. No one can say I've sold anything because I haven't. I just want to help others considering that I found a miracle and can help someone else.