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cciro

cciro

girl (in development)
May 16, 2025
25
For the longest time I never understood why people would ever want to be famous or want to be remembered. It always seemed stupid. But I've semi locked in a ctb date and I get it now.
I don't really have close friends anymore, no one who would really mourn me, feel grief. In a few months, in a few years, I'll be gone from everyones minds. Just a headstone somewhere with the wrong name.
I wish I could leave something behind that says "I was here!" So this life wouldn't be worthless so that there was at least a point to it all and I wouldn't have to die and then be forgotten and nothing matters.
But I tried writing and I tried drawing and I've never been good at anything creative. Nothing ended up being finished, nothing is good enough and I've always been the type to give up easy.
Even this plan to ctb. I'm sure I could live longer if I really really tried like my life depended on it. But I know what I am, and I know I'm not strong enough to tough it out.
Maybe in the next few months I'll write my magnum opus. The next great american (canadian) novel. Divine inspiration. probably not.
i wish people would miss me.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,497
I would miss YOU.

YOU are strong, believe me. Navigating this world especially now days takes a lot of determination, brains and guts. You are family to/for me, as having no family nor friends, it is folks like you who help so much.

You ARE here on this earth as a loving and kind soul who will hit your stride. I was 28, way back when, and it took me time and energy to find my calling and you will to, I 100% believe in YOU period.

Wishing you a wonderful week filled with love and the knowledge that YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT.

Walter
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,573
It's understandable to want to feel appreciated and admired. I wouldn't necessarily believe famous people feel surrounded by love though. I actually imagine it could be pretty lonely. How can they be sure the people around them aren't just their for their money? Also, being idolised isn't the same as being appreciated for who you really are. People fall in love with an image. What if you get tired of playing that version/ image? They aren't exactly free either. They can't just do normal things without being recognised and worst- scrutinized. They daren't behave in any kind of way that could damage their reputation.

I'm not famous by the way. I have worked with people who are though. Their lives are massively restricted by what they need to preserve in order to not be cancelled or whatever else.

That all said, the hope to feel valued is absolutely normal. I'm sorry you don't feel as if you've experienced that.
 
cciro

cciro

girl (in development)
May 16, 2025
25
It's understandable to want to feel appreciated and admired. I wouldn't necessarily believe famous people feel surrounded by love though. I actually imagine it could be pretty lonely. How can they be sure the people around them aren't just their for their money? Also, being idolised isn't the same as being appreciated for who you really are. People fall in love with an image. What if you get tired of playing that version/ image? They aren't exactly free either. They can't just do normal things without being recognised and worst- scrutinized. They daren't behave in any kind of way that could damage their reputation.
True...
I'm sure the reality isn't as nice or easy as it sounds.
Just another fantasy really. Maybe things would be better if x or y. It's a shame life isn't as simple as that.
 
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