
cciro
girl (in development)
- May 16, 2025
- 25
For the longest time I never understood why people would ever want to be famous or want to be remembered. It always seemed stupid. But I've semi locked in a ctb date and I get it now.
I don't really have close friends anymore, no one who would really mourn me, feel grief. In a few months, in a few years, I'll be gone from everyones minds. Just a headstone somewhere with the wrong name.
I wish I could leave something behind that says "I was here!" So this life wouldn't be worthless so that there was at least a point to it all and I wouldn't have to die and then be forgotten and nothing matters.
But I tried writing and I tried drawing and I've never been good at anything creative. Nothing ended up being finished, nothing is good enough and I've always been the type to give up easy.
Even this plan to ctb. I'm sure I could live longer if I really really tried like my life depended on it. But I know what I am, and I know I'm not strong enough to tough it out.
Maybe in the next few months I'll write my magnum opus. The next great american (canadian) novel. Divine inspiration. probably not.
i wish people would miss me.
I don't really have close friends anymore, no one who would really mourn me, feel grief. In a few months, in a few years, I'll be gone from everyones minds. Just a headstone somewhere with the wrong name.
I wish I could leave something behind that says "I was here!" So this life wouldn't be worthless so that there was at least a point to it all and I wouldn't have to die and then be forgotten and nothing matters.
But I tried writing and I tried drawing and I've never been good at anything creative. Nothing ended up being finished, nothing is good enough and I've always been the type to give up easy.
Even this plan to ctb. I'm sure I could live longer if I really really tried like my life depended on it. But I know what I am, and I know I'm not strong enough to tough it out.
Maybe in the next few months I'll write my magnum opus. The next great american (canadian) novel. Divine inspiration. probably not.
i wish people would miss me.