Venting I truly regret staying alive this long.

[Journeytoletgo]

I could have been CTB after high school. Useless years of suffering and emotional pain

 

[LetsFlyAway]

But you did not know back then like how we all do not know what is gonns happen
If we do it will be easy to choose

 

[Scribble Fan]

Same, I should've caught the bus when I was a teenager. Nothing has changed since then, life is still hell.

 

[LastFlowers]

So do I, it is needless torture at this point.
I am tired of waking up with my eyes swollen shut after a nightmare excuse for sleep and a full day of sobbing and screaming at the top of my lungs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel exactly the same way. I should have left years ago really. Existing is just so pointless.

 

[lofticries]

I'm glad I didn't ctb when I was a teenager cuz no doubt I would have ended up all fucked up or in a coma with how lil i knew about ctb methods. However I cannot deny I had more nerve to ctb as a teenager than I do now.

I wish I would have done it in middle school (with the right method) since that was a time I mostly wanted to ctb out of curiosity/boredom and depression rather than anger and depression. Like in my head I thought I would be transported to another world better and more interesting than this one . I would have did it with hardly any bitter feelings which would have been preferable for me.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

But you did not know back then like how we all do not know what is gonns happen
If we do it will be easy to choose

like how we all don't know what's going to happen if we do it? I can't really understand what you're stating here

 

[LetsFlyAway]

like how we all don't know what's going to happen if we do it? I can't really understand what you're stating here

We did not know what would happen back then to our life that is why we keep on living

 

[Journeytoletgo]

We did not know what would happen back then to our life that is why we keep on living

i wish someone would have gave me the possibilities in a layout so I could have CTB earlier

 

[Seiba]

Meh, I tried when I was a teen. If it would have worked it would be have been nice, but it's not like I won't have a choice to correct my failure later on.

 

[Largeletters]

Wish I succeeded 8 years ago.

 

[Jambi]

I really don't think we have that choice at all.
It's just luck to everything lines up and we leave this life faster than most.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This is truly my biggest regret should have done this in high school, or 3 years ago instead of procrastinating. I hate being alive so much.

 

[Meditation guide]

I can actually see reasons for why I am still here but at the same time wish I weren't. I'm undecided about if it's worth it.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I really wish I had done it in my early 20s when I first started thinking about it seriously. I'm almost 30 and my 20s have pretty much been a complete waste filled with misery and anxiety.

 

[_r1a]

honestly same I should've done it in secondary school around age 15/16, now there's more guilt.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I hate that I procrastinated financially back in 2018 when I found CTB an option I should have been completely committed to paying off debts this point now I would be able to CTB but one more year at max if I can make it mentally and emotionally but that is just so frightening with these tormenting traumas and memories.

 

[WOODESITY]

Though about suicide first when i was 17 i remember, desperately looking for reasons to stay alive, now 25 and i regret not doing it then, all those years were wasted suffering

 

[chocolatebar]

I really wish I had done it in my early 20s when I first started thinking about it seriously. I'm almost 30 and my 20s have pretty much been a complete waste filled with misery and anxiety.

I relate to you so much. The feeling of having wasted my youth is terrible

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This was truly a mistake letting myself get to this point. I should have done this 14 years ago I would have been free from all these worries, stress, trauma, and pain from disconnection bullying and acne.

 

[Jumping_realms]

I'm 40 and have multiple attempts since a teen, mostly through OD. I can't fail and won't fail next time.

I've been battling my own mind daily for literal decades. It's been enough, long, long ago. Most people couldn't probably fathom the severity it can reach. I must go soon.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm 40 and have multiple attempts since a teen, mostly through OD. I can't fail and won't fail next time.

I've been battling my own mind daily for literal decades. It's been enough, long, long ago. Most people couldn't probably fathom the severity it can reach. I must go soon.

If you don't mind me asking, What's your daily routine and how do you feel everyday?

 

[Jumping_realms]

If you don't mind me asking, What's your daily routine and how do you feel everyday?

I feel terrible daily and mostly stay in bed. I have no motivation or drive for anything at all. I just want to die, daily. It's very bad.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I feel terrible daily and mostly stay in bed. I have no motivation or drive for anything at all. I just want to die, daily. It's very bad.

For how long? I am so sorry life has led you in this direction and you been suffering for so many decades like this. That must be unbearable I cannot imagine making it that long, I'm sorry you suffer I truly am the emotional and mental pain is torment I can't live in this for another year. This has to be it for me

 

[Jumping_realms]

For how long? I am so sorry life has led you in this direction and you been suffering for so many decades like this. That must be unbearable I cannot imagine making it that long, I'm sorry you suffer I truly am the emotional and mental pain is torment I can't live in this for another year. This has to be it for me

Aww, thanks. It's going to be over soon, for me. I hope you find peace, also.

I've certainly had ups and downs, I haven't been as bad as I am now ever, but most of it has been severe depression and PTSD that would just have it's highs and lows, I suppose. There have been so many psych ward stays that I'd genuinely try when I make my aftercare plan. Unfortunately, it's not always so easy.

 

[fullofregrets]

I too wish I had done it 5 years ago. At least the money spent on me could have been saved.

 

[ClownMe]

I can relate.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I do regret not taking my life the last time I tried. The circumstances were much better. My parents weren't so old, my nephews were too little to remember; before my friends didn't ditch me because I've attempted and my career became unsure because of diagnosis and medicine.

I regret being careless and impulsive, without a clear plan, not researching.

I really didn't need the last 7 years of my life.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I should have done it as soon as acne ruined my life at age 14. So sad to carry on feeling socially insecure and unattractive and miserable.

 

[whatever101]

I should have done it years ago. Things only got worse. More suffering,more pain, more depression