B
babouflo201223
Student
- Aug 18, 2024
- 143
Two hours ago, I felt so sad and alone that I tried to CTB to stop these awful sufferings. Unfortunately, I failed (full suspension). I even don't know how it's possible, evertything was ready and ok, I took benzos to be (I thought) quiet and quite sleeping, but once I went down the chair and the slipknot tigthened my neck, I had extremely strong vomiting reflex and it made me becoming crazy. I moved in all directions, even movments that would have seem impossible to do, it was very very painful, but it was beyond my control and I don't know how but I managed to reach the corner of a furniture and to climb and next untightened the knot and put my head out of it. It was really crazy strong reaction. All happened extremely fast. I know, it's SI. Now I just have headache and a painful shoulder that was hurted during my movments. The worse is of course I feel even more into despair than before, because I failed.