I tried but I don't want to try anymore.

[兎の耳]

I decided I'd give the whole life thing one more try before I actually made the decision to end my life and I gave it a go. I moved across the country and took a much better paying job in a nice LGBTQIA+ friendly city.

I've been here for three months and if anything I'm more miserable than I ever have been. The job sucks and is beyond stressful and I really miss the pleasant laid back atmosphere where I was before. I have no energy and barely have enough money for groceries once I finish paying for my rent. To top it all off I confessed my feelings to my best friend whom I've had a crush on for around a year and they rejected me.

I don't want to keep going. I don't want to keep trying. I want to end my life peacefully but even that is hard because of pro lifers. The place I had been planning to buy SN from now only accepts purchases from corporate buyers. I'm at the end of my rope and am considering just OD'ing on Tylenol even though I am completely aware of how stupid that idea is as I am a healthcare worker and have seen the results first hand.

I guess I just needed to vent and I suppose I'm back.

 

[thirdtimesthecharmg]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way. Thank you for the work you do.

I hope things improve for you.

 

[SunnyIsAi]

Yeah, life sometimes isn't fair. But i guess we just have to keep going, fighting for a better life.

 

[Ww42]

Yeah, life sometimes isn't fair. But i guess we just have to keep going, fighting for a better life.

Life is unfair 95% of the time is an issue. Constant struggles for money, love, food, boredom, etc. Life is more inconvenient and difficult than it ever will be good

 

[SunnyIsAi]

Life is unfair 95% of the time is an issue. Constant struggles for money, love, food, boredom, etc. Life is more inconvenient and difficult than it ever will be good

If you only focus on the bad things, you will never appreciate the things that really matter. Life is something that has more to do with mentality than with reality.
There are so many good things in this life to live for, but if you only focus on the suffering, you will end up seeing life like hell.

 

[Ww42]

If you only focus on the bad things, you will never appreciate the things that really matter. Life is something that has more to do with mentality than with reality.
There are so many good things in this life to live for, but if you only focus on the suffering, you will end up seeing life like hell.

Guess it depends on the person. I've got untreatable chronic MDD so for me to see life in a good light is not easy. It'd be like telling someone with two broken legs to take a walk

 

[SunnyIsAi]

Guess it depends on the person. I've got untreatable chronic MDD so for me to see life in a good light is not easy. It'd be like telling someone with two broken legs to take a walk

Damn. I wish you luck on your life

 

[Ww42]

Damn. I wish you luck on your life

Sorry, don't mean to sound a bummer. But i'm going to be dead very soon towards the end of the summer. Thank you for the well wishes. I hope you're doing okay Sunny