Venting I torture myself sexually In hopes to get myself to stop being bad.

[dreaming_of_pearl]

I already feel gross about sex I want it but I feel ashamed. Whenever I feel grossed out or sad or ashamed of myself or if I feel like I cause so many issues and burdens I force myself to edge or pleasure myself to how awful I am. I want to stop I hate it I cry I hit myself I hate myself I hope I die. When I'm done I slice my body like roast beef but I'm on a break now so I just sit in mental agony about how stupid and worthless my disgusting body is. I honestly hope somone takes advantage of me again so I learn my lesson. That I'm disgusting. And a horrible person. People like me don't deserve pleasure or to live for that much.

 

[R_N]

It is always sad to me how some of you have this intense self hatred to the point of torturing yourself in this already shit life.

I wish you could at least like yourself more or be neutral regardless what kind of person you are as long as you don't go around hurting others for fun.


I also hate society for drilling ideas in our minds that make us do these things.

 

[flp_]

People like me don't deserve pleasure or to live for that much.

Thats two separated things.
Nothing wrong with pleasure.