thrashisland
Member
- Jul 21, 2023
- 37
The only person who I've ever truly told about being suicidal is my bf. He's been suicidal as well and he's been a safe space to me with my planning and everything, we've even attempted together once. I was supposed to ctb a bit over a week ago but plans had to shift since I didn't want any of my roommates to be home to find me. My bf lives in the state next to mine so I decided to spend the last week there with him to give him a proper goodbye and do everything we wanted to do together. He was supposed to bring me home last night but we spent it crying and drinking till I finally convinced him to drive me home at 4 in the morning. It was absolutely devastating holding him in my arms as he cried knowing how much this will affect him. In a way I regret telling him anything but I'm glad we got to say our goodbyes properly and talk about everything before I go. I'm also glad he isn't interfering, this will be my 6th (?) attempt since the start of our relationship and at least this time I'm the most thorough about it. If you have the chance to do this I'd recommend it, I feel a lot better going forward now that I know I gave everything I could to my loved ones.
