Venting I thought things were getting better

[24SecondsTillDawn]

I had a pretty bad depressive episode last summer, but after that, I thought things were slowly starting to get better. And around November/December. I was really happy. I loved my job, I was happy with how my friendships were going, I finally finished finals for college that semester, my transfer from community college to a university was approved, I started losing weight, and I just felt better about myself.

Then the first week of January I got sick and its just been down hill from there. My grandpa died, I found out the store I work at is getting shut down at the end of January, I had to deal with my mother (who I haven't talked to in about four years because she's a narcissistic asshole) at the funeral, some of my friends have been driving me insane, the new semester of college started and I'm already having a hard time with classes, and my dad keeps talking about how many issues my cat is causing even though she is the thing that keeps me going.

In less than a month it seems like everything has just done a complete 180 and I feel terrible again and I am wondering why I'm even working this hard. I don't want to do two more years of college. I don't want to just work for the rest of my life. I just don't wanna have any responsibilities anymore but I know that's never gonna happen. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[UKscotty]

Thats how it goes for me too, sometimes years of being well and happy.

Then illness hits and feel suicidal again. Mental illness is a complicated and tricky area.