Venting I thought it would get better

[Pancake]

I thought if I pushed through, finished finals, and do everything that I could that everything would get better. Today was officially my last day of the semester and I thought it would get better. But I'm more anxious and angrier than before. I can't stop myself from being so utterly anxious and so angry at everything. Nothing's getting better, I thought time would heal me but it's only cutting deeper. I'm so scared I'm going to say something I'll regret. I don't want to see anyone. I want to stay locked inside my room. I'm beginning to loathe just the idea of the next day. Dying would make everything so much easier, it's so enticing right now. I'm frankly baffled at how relieved I get when I think about death. It's scaring me.

Sorry, I meant for this to be shorter but more things kept coming to mind as I wrote. Thanks for reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it makes sense feeling relieved at the thought of being gone. Existence is just endless suffering after all with no limit as to how unbearable it can get, it really does sound so tiring what you go through. But anyway I wish you the best.