Venting I thought CTB would be easy

[deadinside777]

I've made the decision to CTB about a year ago. I thought cool I'll just take a bunch of pills and be done with it. Now after doing research I've learned it much harder than I thought. Now I'm stuck between SN (can't find a source) or using a 9mm (which I'm kind of scared I'll survive). Ugghhh why can't I just go to sleep and not wake up, die in a car crash or something. Even thought about paying someone to do it (which I know no one). I found myself watching murder shows hoping one day I will be the victim. I suffer from severe depression where I barely leave the house. I'm just existing at this point taking up air.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I've made the decision to CTB about a year ago. I thought cool I'll just take a bunch of pills and be done with it. Now after doing research I've learned it much harder than I thought. Now I'm stuck between SN (can't find a source) or using a 9mm (which I'm kind of scared I'll survive). Ugghhh why can't I just go to sleep and not wake up, die in a car crash or something. Even thought about paying someone to do it (which I know no one). I found myself watching murder shows hoping one day I will be the victim. I suffer from severe depression where I barely leave the house. I'm just existing at this point taking up air.

We're the same. Being alive is agony for me, I just want this to be over with in the most peaceful way possible.

 

[AlouA]

I've made the decision to CTB about a year ago. I thought cool I'll just take a bunch of pills and be done with it. Now after doing research I've learned it much harder than I thought. Now I'm stuck between SN (can't find a source) or using a 9mm (which I'm kind of scared I'll survive). Ugghhh why can't I just go to sleep and not wake up, die in a car crash or something. Even thought about paying someone to do it (which I know no one). I found myself watching murder shows hoping one day I will be the victim. I suffer from severe depression where I barely leave the house. I'm just existing at this point taking up air.

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear that and I'm in the same situation as you.. Although I don't know if you're the same age as me... I'm taking a month off of physical schooling but I'm not exempted in all of the school works either.. I'm 18 , in my senior year .. I also suffer from major depression from my crippling social anxiety that has prolonged for over 7 years now.. I just wish to meet or to connect with someone similar with me and maybe think things through... Btw what do you think about the idea of double-suicide?

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is way too unnecessarily difficult, it would certainly be such a relief if there's a way to easily and permanently escape from this existence in peace, it's cruel how that isn't the reality.

I just hate how we exist in a world where choosing to die is made as inacessible as possible despite the fact that death is completely normal and inevitable, and for me it's the only relief.

 

[dmdmdm]

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear that and I'm in the same situation as you.. Although I don't know if you're the same age as me... I'm taking a month off of physical schooling but I'm not exempted in all of the school works either.. I'm 18 , in my senior year .. I also suffer from major depression from my crippling social anxiety that has prolonged for over 7 years now.. I just wish to meet or to connect with someone similar with me and maybe think things through... Btw what do you think about the idea of double-suicide?

You said you we're 18? I'm the same age. Do you want to PM? I think it could be nice to chat someone who's the same age.

 

[AlouA]

You said you we're 18? I'm the same age. Do you want to PM? I think it could be nice to chat someone who's the same age.

Sure, i would really appreciate that.. I'm gonna be honest didn't think you were only 18 too, you sounded incredibly mature

 

[CTB Dream]

Yea life trap v hard ctb no able do any, want mthd but all hard, this awfl trap all pain sffr injury damage no escp