I think this is it!

[completely-done]

I ordered SN this weekend, it'll take a couple of weeks until it arrives. I cannot wait, and I don't mean it in the enthusiastic sense. I'm in excrutiating pain, I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

I'm thinking of jumping in front of the subway train. Or jumping off the highway bridge onto oncoming traffic. But I cannot involve others in my death, that would be irresponsible of me. So that's off the table.

Are there any other ways I can jump and not traumatize people? I can try to find a tall apartment building with no traffic underneath and hurl myself off there. Any ideas? I'm desperate.

 

[Of The Universe]

CD,are you in physical pain,emotional pain,depression...what is going on with you?
My strong advice is do not ctb on impulse! Esp jumping in front of stuff,or off stuff.
You can get badly injured!!

 

[OrcWitch]

I'm not sure if it's possible to die in public without getting at least one innocent rando involved one way or another.

I'm sorry you're in that much pain.

 

[completely-done]

CD,are you in physical pain,emotional pain,depression...what is going on with you?
My strong advice is do not ctb on impulse! Esp jumping in front of stuff,or off stuff.
You can get badly injured!!

emotional, mental pain, bipolar, ocd, always suicidal, just want to get the job done. the pain is becoming physical i dont even know how thats possible
people say oh if youre really suicidal then why havent you done it yet, youre just looking for attention. it's not true though
i will succeed the next time, i cant afford to fuck it up again

 

[Wrennie]

I ordered SN this weekend, it'll take a couple of weeks until it arrives. I cannot wait, and I don't mean it in the enthusiastic sense. I'm in excrutiating pain, I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

I'm thinking of jumping in front of the subway train. Or jumping off the highway bridge onto oncoming traffic. But I cannot involve others in my death, that would be irresponsible of me. So that's off the table.

Are there any other ways I can jump and not traumatize people? I can try to find a tall apartment building with no traffic underneath and hurl myself off there. Any ideas? I'm desperate.

I'm so so sorry that you're feeling this desperate. It reminds me of how I felt right before plunging off of a building myself. But due to my own experiences I could never recommend jumping as a method. The complications of failure are far too vast and devastating. Modern orthopedic medicine won't be able to fix you. You could be paralyzed & in ungodly physical agony for the remainder of your life.

Never underestimate the force of gravity - but the human body is simultaneously durable and weak. Durable enough to potentially keep you alive, but weak enough so that you're entrapped in a permanently crippled state (unable to bathe, get dressed, or even relieve yourself without aid).

My time spent in the ICU was humiliating, mainly because there was a period of time where I had to completely rely upon others in order to perform all of those basic tasks for me. One nurse wouldn't even assist me to navigate to the bathroom because her "break" was coming soon, even though I was nearly about to empty my bowels onto the floor (from laxatives to counteract the constipating effects of opiates).

Having been rendered a pseudo-cripple myself, it only served to exacerbate the pre-existing anguish & desire to escape that was what drove me to jump in the first place.

I wish I had answers for you.

 

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

Are you in a city area? maybe parking garages, construction cranes or cell towers could work for jumping

 

[ikadasui]

I'm so so sorry that you're feeling this desperate. It reminds me of how I felt right before plunging off of a building myself. But due to my own experiences I could never recommend jumping as a method. The complications of failure are far too vast and devastating. Modern orthopedic medicine won't be able to fix you. You could be paralyzed & in ungodly physical agony for the remainder of your life.

Never underestimate the force of gravity - but the human body is simultaneously durable and weak. Durable enough to potentially keep you alive, but weak enough so that you're entrapped in a permanently crippled state (unable to bathe, get dressed, or even relieve yourself without aid).

My time spent in the ICU was humiliating, mainly because there was a period of time where I had to completely rely upon others in order to perform all of those basic tasks for me. One nurse wouldn't even assist me to navigate to the bathroom because her "break" was coming soon, even though I was nearly about to empty my bowels onto the floor (from laxatives to counteract the constipating effects of opiates).

Having been rendered a pseudo-cripple myself, it only served to exacerbate the pre-existing anguish & desire to escape that was what drove me to jump in the first place.

I wish I had answers for you.

Literally my biggest nightmare being trapped and having people weight on me for anything. Clearly at that point you want to leave more than ever and they just keep you alive like some experiment while you're humiliated and in agony it's literally barbaric

 

[MiserableInCT]

I hope you find peace and relief from the pain.

I too have contemplated jumping options extensively because I cant get a gun and everyone says pills don't work. Somehow I instinctively understood years ago that failing to die (especially avoiding hurting anyone else) would create a far, far miserable fate from injuries. I was at dinner with some people last night and while talking about road trips someone mentioned Niagara Falls. So now all day I've been thinking about going over the falls. I'm here looking for ideas, advice, some comfort in a community of shared suffering.

A failed jump is terrifying and has basically kept me from CTB for two years now.

OP: Sounds like you might be in the NYC area, or a similar urban city. Tall enough buildings are temping, but you certainly don't want to hurt anyone else and for certainty of death the height has to be significant. Trains seems futile with the cow-pushers on front. Bridge jumps are unreliable. Subways don't travel fast enough.

I hope you find what you are hoping to find.
I hope you find some peace.

 

[completely-done]

I hope you find peace and relief from the pain.

I too have contemplated jumping options extensively because I cant get a gun and everyone says pills don't work. Somehow I instinctively understood years ago that failing to die (especially avoiding hurting anyone else) would create a far, far miserable fate from injuries. I was at dinner with some people last night and while talking about road trips someone mentioned Niagara Falls. So now all day I've been thinking about going over the falls. I'm here looking for ideas, advice, some comfort in a community of shared suffering.

A failed jump is terrifying and has basically kept me from CTB for two years now.

OP: Sounds like you might be in the NYC area, or a similar urban city. Tall enough buildings are temping, but you certainly don't want to hurt anyone else and for certainty of death the height has to be significant. Trains seems futile with the cow-pushers on front. Bridge jumps are unreliable. Subways don't travel fast enough.

I hope you find what you are hoping to find.
I hope you find some peace.

Thank you for your understanding and support. I've decided to continue to wait for my SN. It would be awful to become physically crippled from a likely failed jumping attempt, which would add to my mental and emotional pain. Also don't wanna traumatize people along the way in my attempt. Yes I'm in an uban city in North America, Canada.

 

[Ashu]

Thank you for your understanding and support. I've decided to continue to wait for my SN. It would be awful to become physically crippled from a likely failed jumping attempt, which would add to my mental and emotional pain. Also don't wanna traumatize people along the way in my attempt. Yes I'm in an uban city in North America, Canada.

Love to you, my fellow-Canadian. I'm from Toronto, where I often reached the extremity of agony that you are in now. Love, brotherhood, and sisterhood to you, and deep hope for your peace.

 

[completely-done]

Love to you, my fellow-Canadian. I'm from Toronto, where I often reached the extremity of agony that you are in now. Love, brotherhood, and sisterhood to you, and deep hope for your peace.

Cool to meet a fellow canadian on here. I hope you're feeling okay tonight, it gets super quiet at night and our suicidal voices get louder these times. Hope you are doing okay

 

[Al Cappella]

Ya, don't jump. Unless you're so high up there's no hope in hell of survival—and even then, bystanders. It is rougher at night, isn't it? The world's quiet, the head isn't. I really feel for you, it must be so hard having to deal with all that. Anyway, another Canuck wishes you well, and hopes you find some peace tonight…

 

[completely-done]

Ya, don't jump. Unless you're so high up there's no hope in hell of survival—and even then, bystanders. It is rougher at night, isn't it? The world's quiet, the head isn't. I really feel for you, it must be so hard having to deal with all that. Anyway, another Canuck wishes you well, and hopes you find some peace tonight…

Thanks buddy I hope you eventually get some sleep