Hunterer
Member
- May 13, 2024
- 49
Hi, it's been a while since I posted anything here, and my head is a mess with so many problems, but as you can read in the title of the post, I believe that there are people who were born only to suffer, and I would say that one of those people is me and my family.
We have been suffering in this life for years, and it has not been just a few years. We have had to go through many extreme and bad situations over the years, such as facing poverty and debt, which is the main factor why our lives are sinking deeper and deeper, reaching the point where we don't even have enough to eat at home.
It's a frustrating situation and I know we're not the only ones going through this in the world, and I believe the suffering should fall on those who truly deserve it, in this case, bad people who committed brutal crimes, and not on people who are struggling and living their lives day after day to achieve the bare minimum.
I've been to church several times, because I'm Catholic, and I've asked God several times so that he could help us change the course of our lives, but as always, nothing ever changes and things seem to get worse and worse instead of better, and not even my mother can handle living a sad and decadent life like the one we're currently living. And to make matters worse, I'm still thinking about CTB, and if I do that, I'm sure my mother and the rest of the family will go into deep shock because of the loss and will probably do the same as me. But you know... sometimes I ask myself... "what if it's better this way?" What if it's better if we're all dead? Maybe then, we can reach a state of peace and we won't have to suffer and deal with bad feelings anymore.
I don't like to think this way, but I don't see any other way out right now. People might even tell me to seek treatment, but there's no way. My situation is more difficult and complex than you can imagine, so I believe that death is the only way to free everyone, but at the same time, I think it's a selfish thought, after all, they have hopes for better days, but my family has been dreaming of those better days for YEARS and with each passing year things only get worse for us, and what keeps them going day after day is faith in God and in better days, but honestly I'm already losing faith in both things, and I think it's better to just give up on everything.
Anyway, I just know that neither I nor other people out there have done anything bad to anyone, but even so, life insists on screwing these people over in different ways, one worse than the other.
I no longer have good enough reasons to continue living, and I believe that perhaps the only way to free myself and my family from all the suffering is through death. But I honestly don't know what to do... It's not easy, and people still say that I should be grateful for life. But with all due respect, fuck it. I have no reason to be grateful for living a fucked up life like this.
All human beings suffer at some point, but there are others who suffer constantly, and this applies to me and my family and I don't know what to do.
We have been suffering in this life for years, and it has not been just a few years. We have had to go through many extreme and bad situations over the years, such as facing poverty and debt, which is the main factor why our lives are sinking deeper and deeper, reaching the point where we don't even have enough to eat at home.
It's a frustrating situation and I know we're not the only ones going through this in the world, and I believe the suffering should fall on those who truly deserve it, in this case, bad people who committed brutal crimes, and not on people who are struggling and living their lives day after day to achieve the bare minimum.
I've been to church several times, because I'm Catholic, and I've asked God several times so that he could help us change the course of our lives, but as always, nothing ever changes and things seem to get worse and worse instead of better, and not even my mother can handle living a sad and decadent life like the one we're currently living. And to make matters worse, I'm still thinking about CTB, and if I do that, I'm sure my mother and the rest of the family will go into deep shock because of the loss and will probably do the same as me. But you know... sometimes I ask myself... "what if it's better this way?" What if it's better if we're all dead? Maybe then, we can reach a state of peace and we won't have to suffer and deal with bad feelings anymore.
I don't like to think this way, but I don't see any other way out right now. People might even tell me to seek treatment, but there's no way. My situation is more difficult and complex than you can imagine, so I believe that death is the only way to free everyone, but at the same time, I think it's a selfish thought, after all, they have hopes for better days, but my family has been dreaming of those better days for YEARS and with each passing year things only get worse for us, and what keeps them going day after day is faith in God and in better days, but honestly I'm already losing faith in both things, and I think it's better to just give up on everything.
Anyway, I just know that neither I nor other people out there have done anything bad to anyone, but even so, life insists on screwing these people over in different ways, one worse than the other.
I no longer have good enough reasons to continue living, and I believe that perhaps the only way to free myself and my family from all the suffering is through death. But I honestly don't know what to do... It's not easy, and people still say that I should be grateful for life. But with all due respect, fuck it. I have no reason to be grateful for living a fucked up life like this.
All human beings suffer at some point, but there are others who suffer constantly, and this applies to me and my family and I don't know what to do.
