I Think Therapy Can't Help Me Anymore

[KafkaF]

Therapy has helped me in the past. It helped me through previous depressions and it helped me go from not daring to leave my house due to social anxiety to attending school and everything. So therapy has worked quite well for me in the past but I think I've realized something.

Therapy can only help me solve problems that are inside of my head. But my current problems aren't inside my head anymore.

Therapy can't make my resume better. Therapy can't make my previous girlfriend want me back, nor can it make women in general want me. Or make any potential girlfriend treat me well. And it can't change that the past 13 years have wrecked my life beyond repair.

I'm getting to the end of this story, I think.

I wish I could recover still. I think that's part of why I'm having such a hard time going through with CTB. But I also know there's nothing that can be done anymore. I just have to fully convince myself that's true and crush any remaining doubt there can be hope still, I think. But that's hard and I'm really scared that I can't do it.

 

[narayana0121]

Didnt want to leave you hanging here, so I thought I should reply.

I relate to what you said at the end. I feel like I can improve, but I just never do.
As a high school student, I now understand how severly depressed I was. I thought that would get all better after I graduated. I was getting ready for school at a big college, a place to start new. But, im right back here, back to my depressive episodes.
Everyone seems to say that these are supposed to be the best years of your life, but it just feels hopeless. Socially, I am doing better than in high school, but I still feel isolated. I have my happy moments every now and then, but eventually I just end up going back to my depressive episodes. I dont know how to get out of this rut of feeling unlovable and unwanted.
At this point, after 20 years of living, I think Ill never get out of this rut. I have hope too, but it just seems more and more unlikely that Im gonna change anytime soon.

With love, stay strong

 

[tuey32]

I also have never liked therapy for these reasons I feel that most of my problems aren't inside my head and don't change based on how I act so I've never felt that it's helped

 

[indignity]

Therapy is useless. It's literally a scam. You pay for wasting your own time which is ridiculous. In reality nobody can fix your problems except yourself, no matter how much they claim they can or willing to. In general I always tell people to rely on themselves only and don't trust anyone. After all there is no point to talk with a professional if you can do it with anybody else, for free. It doesn't mean you should keep it to yourself, but I don't believe any intervention could fix it. The effects of therapy are temporary and can not change people anyhow.

 

[KafkaF]

Therapy is useless. It's literally a scam. You pay for wasting your own time which is ridiculous. In reality nobody can fix your problems except yourself, no matter how much they claim they can or willing to. In general I always tell people to rely on themselves only and don't trust anyone. After all there is no point to talk with a professional if you can do it with anybody else, for free. It doesn't mean you should keep it to yourself, but I don't believe any intervention could fix it. The effects of therapy are temporary and can not change people anyhow.

No it isn't.

It is both shown by the scientific research surrounding therapy that it can help people significantly, and I can anecdotally say that it has helped me too. For several years my social anxiety was so bad I couldn't get out of the house and my failure anxiety was so bad that I couldn't do any exams at all. When I went to my current therapist for the first time, within the year I was able to go outside again, attend classes again, and I was able to participate in exams. All because of my psychologist's help.

The reason why you go for a professional and pay them rather than a rando for free is that the professional actually knows what they're doing (or should, anyway). And they have knowledge of what methods work and for what problems. And they have training on how to help you apply those and put support you while doing it.

As a sidenote, you can often also tell therapists things that might be difficult to tell someone else because they are legally required to keep your secrets and other people are not. Another advantage to therapy.

There's a reason I went out of my way to make clear in my post that therapy absolutely CAN be helpful. And this is a fact. I do not at all want to discourage anyone from getting therapy. In fact, before choosing to end it I would highly recommend trying therapy and not only with one psychologist but trying different psychologists with different methods of working if the first one doesn't work for you.

So my post was NOT anti-therapy and I don't want anyone to misconstrue it that way. Therapy can be helpful as shown both by the actual research and facts and by anecdotal evidence not just by others but also myself. However, that doesn't mean therapy is magic. It cannot magically cure your entire life. It has its limits and it cannot help everyone and it cannot help solve every problem. I think I've hit those limits at this point. But I say this after having had therapy for a very long time so I feel relatively confident in saying that for me personally. I am NOT saying that as a blanket statement.

 

[theboy]

I hear you. It seems like a distant hope. It's hard to heal when there are wounds from the past that seem endless. I wish you the best and hope you can recover.