EtterathButterfly
“Have I won? Has a new me been reborn?”
- Dec 31, 2023
- 13
Now, I have many friend groups. The problem is, I don't feel like I belong in any of them.
In one friend group theyre so caring, so kind.
But only to each other. A few days ago one of my friends in that friend group was venting about a previous conversation, but like four other people shut him down immediately saying "stop bringing up past arguments, you're making us feel sad". I've seen this same thing happen to this friend about like three times now? The recent one was just anxieties about a possible world war in 2024 (iirc he said it specifically because he lives in Israel) and they just told him to stop it and that he's bringing down the mood. At least he called them out on their toxic positivity.
I am not exactly a comforting person, so I didn't talk to him or anything. I just marked the channel as read and moved on. I'm probably an asshole for doing that though, but I don't really care for any of my friends anymore.
Another friend group, and I've been in this one a bit longer than the previous one I talked about, but there's been some fucky stuff in that group.
Someone who I thought was my friend tried to turn everyone against each other. And acted so innocent, using the "im the youngest in the friend group" excuse to be coddled often. One of my friends there, they called him out and told us all what he's done. The friend trying to turn everyone against each other said he was in a mental hospital, but about a week ago, someone saw him online in a game in the same server as her. But he immediately left.
I don't know if I should be thankful that I wasn't one of the ones he tried to manipulate. Someone told me that at least he tried to shield me away from this shitshow, acting nice to me in dms without talking behind others backs. She told me she thinks because I'm "friend shaped". I think I'm just too apathetic to care anymore.
god, I miss him. I don't really care about what happened, I just want him back.
I guess I'm apathetic to these situations because I've seen them too many times already when I'm so quick to jump from friend group to friend group. Or maybe they're not my friends at all, maybe I just wanted to feel like I'm loved when it feels so artificial and fake.
In one friend group theyre so caring, so kind.
But only to each other. A few days ago one of my friends in that friend group was venting about a previous conversation, but like four other people shut him down immediately saying "stop bringing up past arguments, you're making us feel sad". I've seen this same thing happen to this friend about like three times now? The recent one was just anxieties about a possible world war in 2024 (iirc he said it specifically because he lives in Israel) and they just told him to stop it and that he's bringing down the mood. At least he called them out on their toxic positivity.
I am not exactly a comforting person, so I didn't talk to him or anything. I just marked the channel as read and moved on. I'm probably an asshole for doing that though, but I don't really care for any of my friends anymore.
Another friend group, and I've been in this one a bit longer than the previous one I talked about, but there's been some fucky stuff in that group.
Someone who I thought was my friend tried to turn everyone against each other. And acted so innocent, using the "im the youngest in the friend group" excuse to be coddled often. One of my friends there, they called him out and told us all what he's done. The friend trying to turn everyone against each other said he was in a mental hospital, but about a week ago, someone saw him online in a game in the same server as her. But he immediately left.
I don't know if I should be thankful that I wasn't one of the ones he tried to manipulate. Someone told me that at least he tried to shield me away from this shitshow, acting nice to me in dms without talking behind others backs. She told me she thinks because I'm "friend shaped". I think I'm just too apathetic to care anymore.
god, I miss him. I don't really care about what happened, I just want him back.
I guess I'm apathetic to these situations because I've seen them too many times already when I'm so quick to jump from friend group to friend group. Or maybe they're not my friends at all, maybe I just wanted to feel like I'm loved when it feels so artificial and fake.