I think i’ve hit a point where i’m more afraid to live than to die

[Final Escape]

Xanax and ambien

Damn, and your hair never grew back correctly? Have u tried nascent iodine supplentation? This helped my hair from falling out quite a lot. It is an essential nutrient but our government won't express how important it actually is. U can't get enuf from salt unfortunately. U need the actual liquid drops or the diet of the Japanese who live near high iodine rich areas.

 

[Shay]

It's all fried and all falling out still after 3 mo. Hair takes a long time to grow but right now it's still in falling out and it's my whole head that's destroyed

 

[killmepls]

Shit I think I am already at this point but my survival instinct still won't let me do it

 

[fade_away]

I appreciate this perspective. I've been feeling acutely the tragedy of life - this promise (and sometimes, now in the past, the experience) of beauty and fulfillment (I still feel this most when I listen to my favorite classical music), unrequited, unrequitable. I am still stuck on the goodness that life has been, in many ways. I also think about how not everyone has had that - that life has never been good or beautiful or promising for some people; and so I have been lucky to have 30 quite good years. The sense of tragedy I feel is that having to end, not just sooner rather than later, but at all.

But that's kind of what you're saying. Death, and the march toward it, is a part of human experience anyway. I think I'm still fighting against life getting worse; it feels too sad. I want to hang onto everything that's felt lovely to me. But it all goes away, at some point, and we age (dreadful for me), and die.

I will think about your perspective more. It feels healthy.

I appreciate your perspective too and that you can still see the good in life. The world does have beauty and there are some things I will miss, but I can't get past all the suffering and evil. I've come to hate being part of a place that causes so much misery to so many.

 

[windingdown]

I appreciate your perspective too and that you can still see the good in life. The world does have beauty and there are some things I will miss, but I can't get past all the suffering and evil. I've come to hate being part of a place that causes so much misery to so many.

I hear you. To me, life seems like one big biological accident. I think humans are very dear, constantly striving to seek and create goodness in the midst of oppressive circumstances. Nature is a rigged game. I wish we could win.