I think its time I hurt everyone by doing the one thing I know they will never forget: Me taking my life

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

At first this sounds like backwards logic
"Why not live your life? Isn't that the greatest revenge?"
Sure! Live my life and deal with more abuse, people, shitty situations....hey wait a minute? That sounds like.....more bullshit!
Yeah no, I don't have any strength to keep doing this shit
All my life my family has driven me to suicide. And I was always told "awwwww they still wove youuuuuu"
I mean.....yeah. I know they do. But what the fuck does that matter if they keep treating me like shit daily? Thats not love. They are fucking pricks that deserve to suffer

So....here's my plan. To write each person a suicide note filled with hatred and blame. Blaming them for everything they did wrong while I am left to die by suicide. its good since I got my revenge and also get peace. Its a win win. Though, I hate pain. And then knowing that once you die you cant come back to this life. So hard to do

Though when I am ready and impulsive enough it shouldn't be too hard. I just have the have to notes ready and then those fuckers will suffer. I want them to be in so much emotional pain they cant leave their beds to even eat. They will feel guilt equivalent to how I feel being abused by them.

 

[Joey]

Damn I'm gonna really miss you..

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So sorry for all your pain. You have to do what is right for you. It's not like they haven't given you a reason to CTB.

 

[Joey]

Minus the relationship and marriage part ._.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

So sorry for all your pain. You have to do what is right for you. It's not like they haven't given you a reason to CTB.

Exactly. Its my life. Though I am not ready to suicide now because I still am not ready to leave this world, I know when I am ready I will be happy

 

[Toptock]

I hope you find peace that is infinite and unyielding. I hope you find the strength to carry yourself through this. Have a safe journey friend.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I hope you find peace that is infinite and unyielding. I hope you find the strength to carry yourself through this. Have a safe journey friend.

Thanks. I know when I die I will really hurt all those fuckers and get my peace in the end

 

[Dookieshoes]

Thanks. I know when I die I will really hurt all those fuckers and get my peace in the end

No, you won't. You'll get nothing out of it. All you're going to do is put more negativity into a world that needs less.

What have they done to you to make you this hateful? You acknowledge that they must love you on some level, right? Fill in the blanks for me.

 

[iDieUDie80]

I can really relate to this, with the circumstances of my probation. Wishing guilt onto my P.O, my judge and so on. I've dreamed of sending a nasty suicide note to my P.O. minutes before death.

 

[GonnaGoBye]

Write those letters, let out your true feelings and be grateful to them too. Revenge is something that can be done without anger nor hate. Its pure malice.

 

[Meditation guide]

Wishing guilt onto my P.O, my judge and so on. I've dreamed of sending a nasty suicide note to my P.O. minutes before death.

I hate to tell you guys this but they won't care nearly as much as you think, especially your P.O. and judge who won't give a damn. They will chalk it up to thinking you are insane.

In a family I know where a son ctb, they knew how depressed he was so it didn't come as a surprise at all. They took it matter of factly. He shot himself in his bed.

 

[leiche]

make sure they won't hide your notes and say "we don't knOw Why, everything wAs alRiGht)))))", idk post it somewhere else or give to some people who know your family

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Why would you want to do this? The only thing you'll prove by hurting those 'pricks' is that you're no better than they are. You'll end up being just another prick who intentionally did something to hurt other people.

 

[Soul]

I'm confused, @DeathIsTheWayOut99. I respect your choices even if I don't understand them, but ... if your abusers are driving you to suicide isn't it worth reporting them to someone before it comes to that?
I think you're saying that you don't want to kill yourself; you just want escape + revenge. I think there should be ways to accomplish both without you offing yourself.

 

[deleted]

Thanks. I know when I die I will really hurt all those fuckers and get my peace in the end

soon i will also take revenge

 

[Sinai Silence]

Personally I feel not saying anything to them would hurt them a lot more than writing a hate filled message. They would atleast get some sort of answer for why you ctb, to which they could eventually find closure for. I think the not knowing would hurt for much longer.

Whatever decision you make I hopw you find the peace you're looking for and I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

So....here's my plan. To write each person a suicide note filled with hatred and blame. Blaming them for everything they did wrong while I am left to die by suicide. its good since I got my revenge and also get peace. Its a win win.

So, basically a "13 Reasons Why" kinda deal. I can't say I blame you... I have felt the urge for revenge so much myself. And I do blame others for my situation and I wish I could hurt them.

I will say I agree with previous commenters that others may not feel the way you want them to feel. We have little control over how others react to or process our death. It would be risky to bank your decision on that aspect alone, though you do say you seek peace anyway.

My only other comment might be that I wish your final moments and days would be defined by love and happiness, rather than hatred and anger. Why not leave messages of love to those who were really good to you? Maybe that even sends a stronger message to family members who don't receive a note, and you can focus your efforts on more positive things on your path to peace.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I totally get where this is coming from and I fantasize about my mother grieving and it feels good. I want her to be upset... Devastated. I want her to see just how bad it is and what she's done to me. It's the only way I'd ever be able to tell her.

She's getting old though and also there's the pandemic. The thought of her dying before I do has the nasty sting in the tail, that she'll never have to go to my funeral.

 

[Ayvoia]

Mmm.. I have thought about leaving a note, or several to people in my life..

However, not only is there issues with logistics of everyone opening their letters around the same time, you have to make sure you don't scuff anything up or back down from whatever method you're attempting..

Perhaps it's simply my personality, but I would advocate that no letters, or words be sent/said to anyone. Afterall, this is your personal choice, and so you should keep things to yourself, no?
I wouldn't want to involve others, as I wouldn't want others involved in what I'd be about to do, it invites unnecessary risk, and as others have said, bitterness..

Anyways, best of luck to which ever decisions you make, and I hope nothing goes wrong in whatever your aims are.. May you find peace.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Do what you've got to do and what you feel is right. Abuse is serious stuff and it drives a person to insanity. I know how it feels.. Was a lot of why I wanted to ctb.

Sending you love and strength. I'll miss seeing you around.. x

 

[mapletree]

I can really relate to this, with the circumstances of my probation. Wishing guilt onto my P.O, my judge and so on. I've dreamed of sending a nasty suicide note to my P.O. minutes before death.

unfortunately, given the system, and I am trying to tread lightly, I do not think that they will really care, but if writing the notes makes you feel better or gives you a sense of peace no harm in doing so I suppose. The downside of trying to seek any kind of justice in these situations is that the mental illness aspect just gets used to wave everything away.

 

[Meditation guide]

If you leave hate filled notes people won't feel hurt they will feel anger and not a bit of sorrow you did that. I've read several accounts of people who ctb to get revenge and it never accomplishes anything more than resentment in the people who were supposed to be hurt by it.

Honestly if you want to hurt people you are best served by continuing to live on. Once you are dead they just move on and don't care like you think they will.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I am somewhat drawn between making everyone suffer or making it easier for them.

 

[woxihuanni]

Don't mind it when people say you won't achieve your purpose because they won't care. Make your reasons public enough and they are bound to suffer negative consequences. It is just another way to make people completely worthless: To tell them their reason is stupid or won't work. Moreover, we can control a lot of things with our death even if we cannot control anything in our lives.

(Personally, though, I won't leave a note. That's my way of getting revenge, nothing more to say for them to be deaf to.)

 

[Meditation guide]

Don't mind it when people say you won't achieve your purpose because they won't care. Make your reasons public enough and they are bound to suffer negative consequences. It is just another way to make people completely worthless: To tell them their reason is stupid or won't work.

It's simply the voice of long experience here. I'm old and I've been around a lot. I have no interest in making people feel worthless.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I don't think it's uncommon for people to leave on the note of Look what You made me do!
I'm not saying it's right, I mean if your going to leave maybe it's better to just make things as easy for everyone as possible.

 

[lostangel]

You said when you're ''impulsive enough''. What is your method as the last thing you want is to be in a position where you can't make any decisions? But best of luck and I hope you can escape.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

tbh you have no obligation to make your suicide easy on people, especially if they have pushed you towards it. I am really sorry to see you in this situation and I understand why you would be angry. Your notes are for you ultimately, allowing you to leave without regrets regarding what you have said to various people.

 

[noaccount]

No, you won't. You'll get nothing out of it. All you're going to do is put more negativity into a world that needs less.

What have they done to you to make you this hateful? You acknowledge that they must love you on some level, right? Fill in the blanks for me.

ABUSE IS NOT LOVE, KEEP THIS SHIT AWAY FROM PEOPLE

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and as far as your note hurting them, I have to agree with some of the people here; it may not hurt them the way you intend to hurt or in a sense the 'vengeance' that you are looking for. If they are as evil as you described (I don't know them), then it's likely they will just brush off any note deriding them. I do agree with perhaps reporting them to the authorities for abuse (before you check out), so that at least someone is made aware of the wrongs they have dealt to you. Finally, I hope that whenever your time comes that you will find the peace you are looking for.