Venting I think im ready to CTB

[segasonicexe]

And I mean it. Nothing really holds weight to me anymore. I mean sure I go out and I have fun but at the end of the day, I truly recognise the lack of value in life itself. Seriously, why do I value life? Because someone else is telling me to do so? Because another person asks me to please stay? I've bided my time, I've given life a chance and I've come to my conclusion. Death is the option I choose.

Method is the next obvious question. I considered more violent options, but frankly, while I'd like a big dramatic long and somewhat painful death, I'm not a huge fan of blood. That's why I choose anti freeze. Its slow acting, and no blood. So long as I'm not caught early on, I'll die.

Last question would be when. I'd give it like a month or two from now, I'm really not in a rush but at the same time I'm not wanting to stick around. I have some affairs to be put in order and such.

I do sorta feel bad for my friends, but I'm mentally completely fizzling away at this rate. I'm not so sharp anymore, just getting slower by the day. My responses are getting more incoherent too. I'm less and less "there" by the hour. I dunno if my friends notice it or not, but I think they might be. Not sure though. You can't unburn the toast and sadly, I'm a pretty burnt slice of bread now. It happens I guess. It's sad to me that I'll never actually be able to transition, i dreamed about that since i was a child. It is wbat it is i guess.

I hope I'm killed in my sleep. I want the last thing I do in my life to be cuddling my best friend since my very birth, Blankie

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, personally I don't see existence as something of value as well. But anyway I wish you all the best.

 

[CantDoIt]

And I mean it. Nothing really holds weight to me anymore. I mean sure I go out and I have fun but at the end of the day, I truly recognise the lack of value in life itself. Seriously, why do I value life? Because someone else is telling me to do so? Because another person asks me to please stay? I've bided my time, I've given life a chance and I've come to my conclusion. Death is the option I choose.

Method is the next obvious question. I considered more violent options, but frankly, while I'd like a big dramatic long and somewhat painful death, I'm not a huge fan of blood. That's why I choose anti freeze. Its slow acting, and no blood. So long as I'm not caught early on, I'll die.

Last question would be when. I'd give it like a month or two from now, I'm really not in a rush but at the same time I'm not wanting to stick around. I have some affairs to be put in order and such.

I do sorta feel bad for my friends, but I'm mentally completely fizzling away at this rate. I'm not so sharp anymore, just getting slower by the day. My responses are getting more incoherent too. I'm less and less "there" by the hour. I dunno if my friends notice it or not, but I think they might be. Not sure though. You can't unburn the toast and sadly, I'm a pretty burnt slice of bread now. It happens I guess. It's sad to me that I'll never actually be able to transition, i dreamed about that since i was a child. It is wbat it is i guess.

I hope I'm killed in my sleep. I want the last thing I do in my life to be cuddling my best friend since my very birth, Blankie

I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. I think you may have mentioned it before, but is there a reason you are choosing a rather violent method like antifreeze?

 

[maniac116]

I'm so sorry for your suffering