i think im going to do it soon

[rya.io]

i have a method to ctb currently that im really hoping does not fail. i have a lot of pills, mostly a bunch of different anti depressants and anti psychotics. i have a lot of alcohol as well. i know how to hit veins as ive done it before on accident. i think im going to down all of these pills with a lot of alcohol, then slash my arms open. maybe my neck too. this should work, i dont weigh very much at all. im in the bmi 15 range thanks to my eating disorder, im weak enough as it is. my parents will probably find me but not for at least 15 hours. no one really checks up on me. the way i have been living is not living at all. my eating disorder has taken everything from me and this will never end. i have no goals in life, college feels pointless and i am not motivated to continue. i feel terrible for my boyfriend and my friends. as much as i love them, they can live without me and im tired of making them watch me suffer. i am dying in front of them and i know it hurts them. i make everyone around me miserable. i dont deserve my boyfriend, nor do i deserve my friends. i was not meant to be here. i dont want help or any form of treatment. i do not want to be saved. i just want this to be over.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Just a heads up suicide attempts from drug poisonings are only about 1.5% effective and cutting/stabbing is about 1.3% effective (the least effective method measured by research).

Antidepressants and antipsychotics are bkth incredibly non-lethal and you will almost certainly just throw up and potentially have a non-fatal seizure and a range of painful side effects from hallucinations, muscle spasms, hot/cold sweats, pins and needles, headaches, etc. etc.

Cutting yourself deep enough to die is incredibly hard as most people pass out before they can successfully cut deep enough and SI makes it so you need an unreal level of determination to cut deep and fast.

I would consider a different method as both these methods are incredibly unreliable and painful. There's a 95% + chance you will just end up in a lot of pain and either wake up the next day covered in blood or in hospital with handcuffs attached to your bed

There are more peaceful and reliable methods on this forum

I wish you peace in living or dying
-Rhizo

 

[HaHaSoLame]

When it comes to ctb, it would be unwise to just "hope" something will work. Reexamine your options and see if you can try a better method of doing this, or just give up on this and try to fix up the life you've been allotted.

Your choice.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering, best wishes.

 

[hi-okbye]

i understand how much suffering your going through but i feel like you should rethink this to be honest.

the only thing that might help slightly is the alcohol, i would say ditch the antidepressants and antipsychotics.
if anything use a blood thinner like asprin, it could help the blood flow out better.

but like the other person recommended, it's a very low chance of success and i really do recommend you consider something else

i wish you peace <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to suffer so much and life is so rough. Are you still here? Unless you have TCAs your antidepressants / anti-psychotics may not work for an OD and cutting will also most likely not do the job rather you will suffer even more pain. It's up 2 u what you wanna do. I hope you make the right decision for you whatever you decide to do. I hope u find peace.

 

[rya.io]

Just a heads up suicide attempts from drug poisonings are only about 1.5% effective and cutting/stabbing is about 1.3% effective (the least effective method measured by research).

Antidepressants and antipsychotics are bkth incredibly non-lethal and you will almost certainly just throw up and potentially have a non-fatal seizure and a range of painful side effects from hallucinations, muscle spasms, hot/cold sweats, pins and needles, headaches, etc. etc.

Cutting yourself deep enough to die is incredibly hard as most people pass out before they can successfully cut deep enough and SI makes it so you need an unreal level of determination to cut deep and fast.

I would consider a different method as both these methods are incredibly unreliable and painful. There's a 95% + chance you will just end up in a lot of pain and either wake up the next day covered in blood or in hospital with handcuffs attached to your bed

There are more peaceful and reliable methods on this forum

I wish you peace in living or dying
-Rhizo

im not worried about the pain from cutting, ive been self harming a long time and i hit muscle/fascia every time i do so because anything less isnt satisfying to me.

Just a heads up suicide attempts from drug poisonings are only about 1.5% effective and cutting/stabbing is about 1.3% effective (the least effective method measured by research).

Antidepressants and antipsychotics are bkth incredibly non-lethal and you will almost certainly just throw up and potentially have a non-fatal seizure and a range of painful side effects from hallucinations, muscle spasms, hot/cold sweats, pins and needles, headaches, etc. etc.

Cutting yourself deep enough to die is incredibly hard as most people pass out before they can successfully cut deep enough and SI makes it so you need an unreal level of determination to cut deep and fast.

I would consider a different method as both these methods are incredibly unreliable and painful. There's a 95% + chance you will just end up in a lot of pain and either wake up the next day covered in blood or in hospital with handcuffs attached to your bed

There are more peaceful and reliable methods on this forum

I wish you peace in living or dying
-Rhizo

i have opiates as well. i used to be heavily addicted to them, i nearly died from an accidental overdose and i only took 3. i have at least 30 vikes. im going to combine that with the 300 something different anti depressants/antipsychotics and the few benzodiazapines i have left. im not worried about the pain from cutting at all, my self harm is very extreme and i have cut to fascia these last couple of times without feeling any panic. the last time i cut i hit a vein on accident and did not pass out, i know i hit one because it spurted at me. im very underweight so if this doesnt kill me im just gonna assume im immortal at this point.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

im not worried about the pain from cutting, ive been self harming a long time and i hit muscle/fascia every time i do so because anything less isnt satisfying to me.

i have opiates as well. i used to be heavily addicted to them, i nearly died from an accidental overdose and i only took 3. i have at least 30 vikes. im going to combine that with the 300 something different anti depressants/antipsychotics and the few benzodiazapines i have left. im not worried about the pain from cutting at all, my self harm is very extreme and i have cut to fascia these last couple of times without feeling any panic. the last time i cut i hit a vein on accident and did not pass out, i know i hit one because it spurted at me. im very underweight so if this doesnt kill me im just gonna assume im immortal at this point.

I'd seriously consider passing on the antidepressants/antipsychotics. They won't do anything to improve the effectiveness of ctb.

Cutting may be marginally more effective if you're experienced and tend to cut deep without SI but it's still highly unreliable. If the base rate is 1.3% I'd be surprised if your success rate was anything more than double or triple this with deep cutting (e.g., 2.6-3.9%)

Vicodin could work but if you survive you will seriously damage your liver from the amount of acetaminophen in vicodins. Vomiting will probably save you from a fatal opioid poisoning.

I'd guess your odds of success are less than 10% even with experience cutting, the vicodins, etc. etc.

I just really hope we don't hear from you in a few weeks that you're stuck in hospital with a catheter, stitches, covered in vomit, in pain from liver damage, and injuries all up and down from non-fatal seizures (from antidepressants), etc. etc.

It's likely to be painful and drawn out for more than one reason

You're combining all of the least effective methods that tend to produce the greatest number of long term complications/injuries.

I really don't recommend this, but I respect your decision to try if you wish to despite the high odds of it not going your way.