Venting I think I'll go with drowning

[Saitama2]

People, this is scary, extremely scary, but I can't keep going. I've given myself so many chances and so much time and always return to feeling like shit. I feel guilty for pretending to be ok around my relatives and friends, but my plans cannot be ruined.

I'm thinking of going to the coast in around two weeks, hyperventilate for 15 minutes and then hold my breath. After 3 minutes of holding I'll go into the water. It will probably hurt a bit, but I'm tired. I'll do it at night and hopefully nobody will spot me or try to rescue me. If the rocky shore is too shallow I will swim as far as possible.

You don't comprehend just how scared I feel right now, but it has to be done. The potential pain, making others suffer, the (please no) possibility of an afterlife or being reborn. I want to make my last minutes as painless as possible cause this all consumes my mind.

There is no motivation, no self-satisfaction, anxiety is absolutely overwhelming, among other things. In short, I'm a loser and not made for life. This has to end.

Sorry for the long rant and tell me your own thoughts and experience if you want.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Oh boy. I respect your bravery and I think drowning is a very difficult way to die. So, if you're determined you'll want to make it as hard as possible to save yourself.

Swimming too far to swim back would be the thing.

I've read that the initial phases of drowning are quite painful.

Interestingly, you have brainstem instincts which will activate and your unconscious self will try to survive by "climbing" and a few minor head/face adjustements.

I've also read that hypoxia will induce euphoria toward the end of drowning. This one would be the hardest to back up with anything solid, so take with a grain of salt.

May you find peace

 

[idk3]

I think the best way to drown is to drink a lot of alcohol with sedatives and pass out in a warm bath or hot tub. This actually happens a lot by accident.

This piece mentions the warm water temperature as a factor as well:

Alcohol Use Likely Culprit In Hot Tub Drownings
In the East Bay Times article, it says that safety experts were surprised when they learned that hot tub drownings were more likely to occur in the Western states, but they quickly suggested the likely culprit in many of the hot tub drownings may be alcohol use.

"You get into a hot tub to relax and you drink to relax. When you put those two things together, you get more than you bargain for," Jonathan Howland, an epidemiologist at Boston University and a national expert on death by drowning, told the Times. "The heat leads to dilation of the blood vessels, along with the alcohol. People are basically having a drop of blood pressure and having the equivalent of a faint," said Howland.

Tony Gomez, manager of the Injury and Violence Prevention Division at the Seattle Public Health Department told the Times that up to 70 percent of all hot tub and pool drownings involving adults that are investigated by his department are alcohol-related.

"What we hear from those that survive or those that witnessed a drowning with alcohol impaired swimmers (and) soakers is that they just fell asleep or went unconscious and slipped under the water," Gomez said.

Cranberries singer Dolores O'Riordan drowned in bath while drunk

The Cranberries frontwoman Dolores O'Riordan drowned in a London hotel room bath after drinking alcohol, an inquest heard.

www.scotsman.com

Coroner says Whitney Houston accidentally drowned in bathtub

Coroner says Whitney Houston accidentally drowned in bathtub

www.latimes.com

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I wish you the best and hope it works out for you the way you desire and need it to. I think it's a fairly hard way in that it takes a lot of balls. I give you a lot of credit. If you go through with it, I hope it's quick and as painless as can be, and I hope you reach the peace you so much deserve.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, best wishes.

 

[iloverachel]

Sounds truly awful what you are going through I am sorry

Best of luck I hope you find peace

 

[bluebird16]

My method as well. Will go through with it after my parents die. Or earlier.

 

[22yrsandnowshesgone]

So ive been creeping around reading posts here for a bit , most people would not look at me and think that id be suicidal , I am not socially awkward, i have been married for 22 years to a beautiful woman , have 2 daughters. I use to think suicide was selfish , as friends had taken the plunge. I always sympathized yet , was always the type to say " real man just deals with it" I WAS HORRIBLY WRONG. i am currently getting a divorce , for 2 years had problems with wife, now its all over . People think im a tough guy, i intimidate people and have throughout my life been able to exert my will upon my surroundings. I say all this because , here now I can see there are some things that are just too hard . cause too much pain . Anyway buddy , you sound young. there maybe something out there for you. Rarely when people feel they have fucked up so bad or are fucked up so bad is it completely true. while i share your feelings , and am thinking the same as you. I just want you to really be sure , you are not as bad as you think . I do think it is a tragedy to let go as life is short already . Yet again i am wanting to CTB myself. I can still recognize the Beauty the world has to offer. the minute details and rich exquisitness to everything , the simplest thing. I read the posts here , i feel the way i do , yet i feel baad for so many of you . I am 43, i have a daughter that is 18. so,so much can change . so much can happen so quick when your young. I do not know you , nor do i make or want to make the moral argument , i just want to help man . im new to forums etc. but if u want to talk. send me a msg , ill figure out how to see someone did msg . Maybe just wait a bit . Again i am not judging . I understand deeply , the feeling, or not feeling disconnect. But your pain , life and yes even death is tragic friend . feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if u wish too.