Venting I think I made a mistake tonight

[Honeybee]

My bestfriend now knows I plan to take SN, and she's obviously against me trying to ctb.

I don't know what drove me to tell her, but the topic came up, and she knows now. We've talked about methods we tried in the past, so this wasn't entirely out of the blue. Of course, she freaked out when I mentioned I found this method and found DSL.

I don't even know what my own plan is? I don't have a date set right now, I kind of just want to buy SN and know I have it for when I'm ready. Which she is strongly against.

I'm not sure I can even get it delivered here, I still live with my family and they have notifications set up for when something gets shipped to us, and what the contents are. I'm so glad that came up in passing or I would've already placed my order and been caught. (If anyone has a suggestion to get around this, I'd love to hear it.)

Anyways, we talked about it before she left. I'm still considering buying it even though she asked and pleaded with me not to. I don't want to hurt her, I feel like I really scared her tonight, and I've already been feeling guilty(?) for finding DSL in the first place. She also made some threats in an effort to convince me not to go through with this, such as ending our friendship if I do buy SN, or violence against herself if I die.

She also wants me to stop sh as that got brought up, too. I refused.

I just feel like I made a mistake telling her this. I don't know how I'll face her tomorrow when she wakes up. Last time we talked about something I did/found, she called it "too much."

 

[Jello Biafra]

If I were you I would hold off from ordering for awhile if you can - while their heart might be in the right place, too often people would "rather be safe than sorry" and might betray your trust based on the thinking that they are "saving your life".

I would move forward just assuming that this person is going to break your trust in an attempt to save you. Ctb and SN are not going to go away and if you try to just power through and make your order, there is a very good chance that you end up making things extremely more complicated for yourself - such as being committed, or being monitored at all times.

 

[Honeybee]

If I were you I would hold off from ordering for awhile if you can - while their heart might be in the right place, too often people would "rather be safe than sorry" and might betray your trust based on the thinking that they are "saving your life".

I would move forward just assuming that this person is going to break your trust in an attempt to save you. Ctb and SN are not going to go away and if you try to just power through and make your order, there is a very good chance that you end up making things extremely more complicated for yourself - such as being committed, or being monitored at all times.

If you're referring to my friend, it's (mostly) an online friendship. We've never exchanged addresses or any PI, and after several failed attempts to call someone to get her help in the past, I'm not too worried about her doing anything for me.

I am going to wait to order SN until I can figure out how to deliver it safely.. Thank you for your thoughts

 

[eggsausagerice]

until I can figure out how to deliver it safely

can look into delivering it to a po box. that's the easiest alternative to not delivering to your house without your parents knowing. honestly crazy that you brought up sn when i would probably have nightmares if i ever let it slip to anybody. i did mention that i was going to kill myself to my friend during june and got the cops called on me on the same night, but that's only because he knows where i live and that i was suicidal. with a po box you can still order the sn and just not use it if you think your friend is worried.