Venting i think i have to CTB

[annasplight]

I will make a proper thread before I go, but I really think that I have to CTB. I lost the love of my life and he truly won't come back. I didn't have any other good things in my life, but I had him. Now he's gone and he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't even think he would care if I died. I want to reach out to him for support, but i'm sure he will shrug me off and call it a manipulation tactic. I just want my sweet boy back. The one who took care of me and loved me unapologetically. Now i'm just stuck without him, i have no friends, i still have debilitating health issues, and my parents don't seem to like me all that much. My life truly has no purpose. All I do is hurt people.

I think my method will be SN. I will draft up a suicide note and have it sent to the people I once cared for. I just wish he would snap out of it and text me and just talk to me. If there's a god, that's my only prayer. I want him to come back to me and we can work things out. If I don't get a text by tomorrow morning, i'm going to purchase my SN and get to work. I already have Reglan as a prescription medication, so i'm pretty much set.

I wish I wasn't so hard to love.

 

[timetogonow2024]

I will make a proper thread before I go, but I really think that I have to CTB. I lost the love of my life and he truly won't come back. I didn't have any other good things in my life, but I had him. Now he's gone and he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't even think he would care if I died. I want to reach out to him for support, but i'm sure he will shrug me off and call it a manipulation tactic. I just want my sweet boy back. The one who took care of me and loved me unapologetically. Now i'm just stuck without him, i have no friends, i still have debilitating health issues, and my parents don't seem to like me all that much. My life truly has no purpose. All I do is hurt people.

I think my method will be SN. I will draft up a suicide note and have it sent to the people I once cared for. I just wish he would snap out of it and text me and just talk to me. If there's a god, that's my only prayer. I want him to come back to me and we can work things out. If I don't get a text by tomorrow morning, i'm going to purchase my SN and get to work. I already have Reglan as a prescription medication, so i'm pretty much set.

I wish I wasn't so hard to love.

I'm going through the same thing, I can't cope without her on top of all my mental health issues, I was gunna do SN but can't the meds or nitrite in UK, so planning on the hyperventilating way, I just want this pain to go away as painless and quick as possible

 

[AceVendetta7500]

Wow. I am in a very similar situation. She left me in April and everything has been hell since then. All I want for her is to "snap out of it" and text me so that we can work things out. I don't really want to CTB over her, but I need the pain to end.

 

[annasplight]

Wow. I am in a very similar situation. She left me in April and everything has been hell since then. All I want for her is to "snap out of it" and text me so that we can work things out. I don't really want to CTB over her, but I need the pain to end.

I'm sorry that you're going through the same thing. Many, many hugs. I'm going to try reaching out to my lover and see if there's any way I can try to work this out with him. I would recommend you try to do the same. At least if we're pushed away by them, we got closure and solid proof that they don't want us around.

I just hope mine responds with compassion and realizes how much we're both suffering without each other. I really don't want to die over this, but without him I have nothing.

 

[jc2121]

I'm go through a similar situation where I want to CTB over someone. Whatever you choose I wish you luck

 

[annasplight]

I'm go through a similar situation where I want to CTB over someone. Whatever you choose I wish you luck

It really pains my heart to see so many people going through the same thing. Being loved is so so important :( I hope that you're going to be okay, you deserve to live a happy life.

 

[AceVendetta7500]

I'm sorry that you're going through the same thing. Many, many hugs. I'm going to try reaching out to my lover and see if there's any way I can try to work this out with him. I would recommend you try to do the same. At least if we're pushed away by them, we got closure and solid proof that they don't want us around.

I just hope mine responds with compassion and realizes how much we're both suffering without each other. I really don't want to die over this, but without him I have nothing.

Good luck. Mine blocked me. She seems to be doing great without me. I don't think she'll ever talk to me again. I am so depressed.

 

[annasplight]

Good luck. Mine blocked me. She seems to be doing great without me. I don't think she'll ever talk to me again. I am so depressed.

God, that sounds awful to deal with. I'm so sorry :( I don't know how people can throw away so much time, love, and effort. You deserve better, my friend. If it helps at all, I can be there to talk to you! It won't be the same, but I think it's nice to have a friend in your corner.

Thank you for the well wishes. :)

 

[jc2121]

It really pains my heart to see so many people going through the same thing. Being loved is so so important :( I hope that you're going to be okay, you deserve to live a happy life.

Same to you. Wishing the best

 

[timetogonow2024]

debilitating health issues, and my parents don't seem to like me all that much. My life truly has no purpose. All I do is hurt people.

I think my method will be SN. I will draft up a suicide note and have it sent to the people I once cared for. I just wish he would snap out of it and text me and just talk to me. If there's a god, that's my only prayer. I want him to come back to me and we can work things out. If I don't get a text by tomorrow morning, i'm going to purchase my SN and get to work. I already have Reglan as a prescription medication, so i'm pretty much set.

I wish I wasn't so hard to love.
Click to expand...

I'm going through the same thing, I can't cope without her on top of all my mental health issues, I was gunna do SN but can't the meds or nitrite in UK, so planning on the hyperventilating way, I just want this pain to go away as painless and quick as possible

It really pains my heart to see so many people going through the same thing. Being loved is so so important :( I hope that you're going to be okay, you deserve to live a happy life.

i was happyish on my own for years even coping with my mental health, but now it's gone and it's killing me, it hurts so much, I'm waiting for a train now, sat here crying and wanting to jump on track, I hate the fought of anyone else feeling this way, if there is a god he's a cruel c—-

 

[annasplight]

Update to the original situation, he doesn't want to hear from me. He wants me to leave him alone, and honestly i'm fairly certain it's for good. He says he can't trust me, and although I tried my best to tell him that all I want to do is reconcile, there's nothing I can do. I didn't feel an ounce of the love he used to provide to me, and i'm left feeling very heartbroken.

I guess I know that my bus is coming soon. Time to find SN and perfect my notes, I guess. I was really hoping he'd come to his senses, but i've screwed up too badly.

I will make a proper thread before I go, but I really think that I have to CTB. I lost the love of my life and he truly won't come back. I didn't have any other good things in my life, but I had him. Now he's gone and he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't even think he would care if I died. I want to reach out to him for support, but i'm sure he will shrug me off and call it a manipulation tactic. I just want my sweet boy back. The one who took care of me and loved me unapologetically. Now i'm just stuck without him, i have no friends, i still have debilitating health issues, and my parents don't seem to like me all that much. My life truly has no purpose. All I do is hurt people.

I think my method will be SN. I will draft up a suicide note and have it sent to the people I once cared for. I just wish he would snap out of it and text me and just talk to me. If there's a god, that's my only prayer. I want him to come back to me and we can work things out. If I don't get a text by tomorrow morning, i'm going to purchase my SN and get to work. I already have Reglan as a prescription medication, so i'm pretty much set.

I wish I wasn't so hard to love.

 

[ur8ndom]

Don't do it! It's hard to lose your love but you say you don't have anything good in your life. Go find yourself! Find out what would really make you happy and go for it! Live your dreams! Create a vision. It's in your hands what happens in your life! Aim as high as possible, create a vision and go for it! You can be happier than ever on your own! I know how this feels but it will pass eventually if you do personal development and you will feel better than ever. What were your dreams when you were a kid?

 

[okuhvtuji]

you can still cherish the memories you had together, write about new ones (very dumb), but it can help

 

[annasplight]

Don't do it! It's hard to lose your love but you say you don't have anything good in your life. Go find yourself! Find out what would really make you happy and go for it! Live your dreams! Create a vision. It's in your hands what happens in your life! Aim as high as possible, create a vision and go for it! You can be happier than ever on your own! I know how this feels but it will pass eventually if you do personal development and you will feel better than ever. What were your dreams when you were a kid?

I always wanted to be a pastry chef, or work on movies. I just don't know how i'm meant to carry on without him. everything feels so hopeless.

 

[ur8ndom]

Yes, I know that feeling but I promise you the closer you get to your dreams the better you will feel! You have nothing to lose anyways. And in the end you will say, "luckily it didn't work out with him, otherwise I wouldn't be the person I am today". If you lose your love, live your dreams, it's that simple. True happiness comes from within not from another person. And when you are there you will be authentically happy and attract a new love who fits you way better. I know it's hard to imagine but please try before harming yourself! You have nothing to lose.

 

[annasplight]

Yes, I know that feeling but I promise you the closer you get to your dreams the better you will feel! You have nothing to lose anyways. And in the end you will say, "luckily it didn't work out with him, otherwise I wouldn't be the person I am today". If you lose your love, live your dreams, it's that simple. True happiness comes from within not from another person. And when you are there you will be authentically happy and attract a new love who fits you way better. I know it's hard to imagine but please try before harming yourself! You have nothing to lose.

this made me cry a lot, haha. kind of embarrassing!! i wish I could PM already, i would love to talk with you more. I really appreciate that you want me to live. that makes one person :)

 

[ur8ndom]

Wish so, too. I hope my message helped you. I'm sure there's more than one person that wants you to live.
Fuck I read your story we should really talk

 

[annasplight]

I'm going through the same thing, I can't cope without her on top of all my mental health issues, I was gunna do SN but can't the meds or nitrite in UK, so planning on the hyperventilating way, I just want this pain to go away as painless and quick as possible

i was happyish on my own for years even coping with my mental health, but now it's gone and it's killing me, it hurts so much, I'm waiting for a train now, sat here crying and wanting to jump on track, I hate the fought of anyone else feeling this way, if there is a god he's a cruel c—-

Truly. If there is a god, he's very cruel for apparently no fucking reason. I don't understand why we have to suffer this way.

Please know i'm here for you for as long as I remain on this earth.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Hello.

My wife left me so I know what you're going through love wise.
I must say though, you seems young and on top of that it seems he was your first love.


First love is something extraordinaire because everything is New. From beginning to the end. Including the pain. And the recovery.

I can just say dont ctb over an impulse. Let it sink. Try to also realize that the next step involve knowing and tolerating everything and the person with in. And our compability with most people is zero for that.
But first love tend to make us blind because all those 'first' overwhelm the senses. Then you realize it was... Not worth ever.

It will takes time. Not gonna lie. I still remember my first break up you know. But now it's just memories.

Your plan for the future are not at the mercy of someone's whims. And frankly ? Those goals are effin great. No bf can compare. But being able to makes pastries also help to catch some !

 

[annasplight]

Hello.

My wife left me so I know what you're going through love wise.
I must say though, you seems young and on top of that it seems he was your first love.


First love is something extraordinaire because everything is New. From beginning to the end. Including the pain. And the recovery.

I can just say dont ctb over an impulse. Let it sink. Try to also realize that the next step involve knowing and tolerating everything and the person with in. And our compability with most people is zero for that.
But first love tend to make us blind because all those 'first' overwhelm the senses. Then you realize it was... Not worth ever.

It will takes time. Not gonna lie. I still remember my first break up you know. But now it's just memories.

Your plan for the future are not at the mercy of someone's whims. And frankly ? Those goals are effin great. No bf can compare. But being able to makes pastries also help to catch some !

You caught me there with the young part, i'm only 18! I guess it really does show through my words lol. But you're right, he was my very first love and I guess that's why everything seems to hurt so bad and feel final.

I think if everything is meant to be, he will come back to me. For now, I can try and focus on becoming a kickass pastry chef or film major. :)

 

[timetogonow2024]

You caught me there with the young part, i'm only 18! I guess it really does show through my words lol. But you're right, he was my very first love and I guess that's why everything seems to hurt so bad and feel final.

I think if everything is meant to be, he will come back to me. For now, I can try and focus on becoming a kickass pastry chef or film major. :)

Your young, don't throw your life away, I've been there and it's been the end of the world but I have moved on, you will meet someone else an wonder why you went through all that pain, been there an met someone else, you will to, it know I'm old, can't cope with my mental health anymore and have today hopefully soured all I need to do the deed, I will get the bits tomm, hopefully if I don't have an issue buying the argon, and I will then spend the weekend in my car listening to music knowing I will be at peace by Monday eve, it's what I want and maybe I will be called selfish and I hate what it will do to people but they will have a few months grief, if I live I've got a lifetimes anguish, please at your age think again tho, I promise you life will get better x