Discussion I think I have an idea on how to keep on living.

[obei]

I think you would get why I didnt put this in "recovery" section.(mods, if you feel like this belong there feel free to move the post where it should be)
I thought about it, and came to an idea; what if I just keep to myself and enjoy my own company instead of being burden to other people?
I mean, the way I would describe myself is tough to love, annoying, tiring, maybe even boring, and aaaawkward. And then I thought: can I keep myself living (even though I dont want to rly) for my family, and like, enjoy my hobbies between my 4 walls, drawing, playing online games, and learning new things. I was never quite social anyways, at least not since I was like 7 yo due to bullying.
Is this a way to live? Can I somehow, even though I wanna ctb so badly, not be a burden and put this all bad emotions into my room and nowhere else?

 

[ummagumma]

you can definitely try

 

[vak]

Depends, isolating yourself is a proven trigger for suicidal ideation. I'm very strong introvert, almost a hermit, but I need some human contact from time to time - it's about striking a balance. And sometimes we need other people to give us the motivation to focus on ourselves (because otherwise you can start to feel like it doesn't really matter when nobody is there to see the progress).

Hope you figure it out if you want to get better, it certainly can help so it's not a bad plan

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I think you would get why I didnt put this in "recovery" section.(mods, if you feel like this belong there feel free to move the post where it should be)
I thought about it, and came to an idea; what if I just keep to myself and enjoy my own company instead of being burden to other people?
I mean, the way I would describe myself is tough to love, annoying, tiring, maybe even boring, and aaaawkward. And then I thought: can I keep myself living (even though I dont want to rly) for my family, and like, enjoy my hobbies between my 4 walls, drawing, playing online games, and learning new things. I was never quite social anyways, at least not since I was like 7 yo due to bullying.
Is this a way to live? Can I somehow, even though I wanna ctb so badly, not be a burden and put this all bad emotions into my room and nowhere else?

That's actually exactly what I've been doing for a very long time. It can be very rewarding but also incredibly lonely sometimes and probably unhealthy but that's just my experience. I've never been very social either, not even online up until recently. I would definitely try and see if it works for you maybe try to take a walk every now and then to get fresh air if you still want to be alone but get tired of being cooped up. Btw I know we haven't known eachother for very long, and I hope it's okay to say but I don't think your personality is annoying or boring or any of those things :) you're a very good person in my eyes

 

[obei]

That's actually exactly what I've been doing for a very long time. It can be very rewarding but also incredibly lonely sometimes and probably unhealthy but that's just my experience. I've never been very social either, not even online up until recently. I would definitely try and see if it works for you maybe try to take a walk every now and then to get fresh air if you still want to be alone but get tired of being cooped up. Btw I know we haven't known eachother for very long, and I hope it's okay to say but I don't think your personality is annoying or boring or any of those things :) you're a very good person in my eyes

Thank youu

 

[Forever Sleep]

It worked for me for quite a few decades. I wouldn't say it's the healthiest way to live. It's pretty mal-adjusted (refering to myself here) but yes- it can get you through.

if you need to earn money from your creativity though, then- depending on how good you are, that could end up being your achilles heel. ie. If you put all your focus into a coping mechanism and the coping mechanism one day fails, you can feel totally cut adrift- also my experience!

 

[UKscotty]

As long as you always believe recovery is possible, it is.

 

[DesperateOne]

I think you would get why I didnt put this in "recovery" section.(mods, if you feel like this belong there feel free to move the post where it should be)
I thought about it, and came to an idea; what if I just keep to myself and enjoy my own company instead of being burden to other people?
I mean, the way I would describe myself is tough to love, annoying, tiring, maybe even boring, and aaaawkward. And then I thought: can I keep myself living (even though I dont want to rly) for my family, and like, enjoy my hobbies between my 4 walls, drawing, playing online games, and learning new things. I was never quite social anyways, at least not since I was like 7 yo due to bullying.
Is this a way to live? Can I somehow, even though I wanna ctb so badly, not be a burden and put this all bad emotions into my room and nowhere else?

It will be fun at first, but the isolation will come and bite you in the ass.

 

[cyandude]

I survive this way, and yeah, what DesperateOne said is true, isolation is fucking me over so hard rn it brought me back to this website. It won't work for long, but you can try.

 

[twin size mattress]

It could be worth a try, even if isolation is proven to be unhealthy. Honestly i'd say anything to keep on living is worth trying before resorting to ctb

 

[obei]

It could be worth a try, even if isolation is proven to be unhealthy. Honestly i'd say anything to keep on living is worth trying before resorting to ctb

Well I never said its healthy, but if everyone is so desperate that I keep on living it is what it is lol

 

[devin44]

I think you would get why I didnt put this in "recovery" section.(mods, if you feel like this belong there feel free to move the post where it should be)
I thought about it, and came to an idea; what if I just keep to myself and enjoy my own company instead of being burden to other people?
I mean, the way I would describe myself is tough to love, annoying, tiring, maybe even boring, and aaaawkward. And then I thought: can I keep myself living (even though I dont want to rly) for my family, and like, enjoy my hobbies between my 4 walls, drawing, playing online games, and learning new things. I was never quite social anyways, at least not since I was like 7 yo due to bullying.
Is this a way to live? Can I somehow, even though I wanna ctb so badly, not be a burden and put this all bad emotions into my room and nowhere else?

Why do you think that you're such a burden? :)