I think I finally have a plan

[ShanaRei]

I think I'm going to kms in six months. It may be less than that with the way things are going. I was trying to hold on until my mom went, but I don't think I can anymore.
I'm looking at Loe's guide for help with it all as my main method is hanging rn. I can't find a reliable source of SN and I can't afford a gun.
I think I am going to go into nature somewhere and do it there so my mom isn't the first to find my body. I will definitely leave notes for people before I go. I'm going to clean out the cache on my phone too so no one will know I was on this page. I don't want anyone to get it shut down. I have been working on a few projects and I'm trying to decide which one I'm going to finish before the end.

I can't think of anything else. I'm so tired. I never should have made it this far. I feel like I'm drowning in a fishbowl and people walk by and either laugh or ignore me.
I am struggling underwater. No one and nothing will cut you a break in this world even if you're a good person who's made some mistakes.
I miss my younger days. I know I can't go back so death is the second option.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of everything, it's true that there is just too much suffering in existing so I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[ShanaRei]

I understand feeling so tired of everything, it's true that there is just too much suffering in existing so I wish you the best with your plans.

I feel so much better after I made the decision and posted this. Almost euphoric. I don't know if you've read anything by LM Montgomery but she talks about having "the flash" a lot in her books, which is basically where you see to the other side for a brief moment. I just had that that. I truly think death is a wonderful place.