Usually I am ruminating a lot what I could post. Or I just give an update about my life. But currently I am spending more time on ruminating about the interesting ADHD/autism woman I am texting with. I struggle to think about anything besides her. And I know that's really unhealthy. Especially because she is so busy and we don't text that frequently. The upside is thus far I could prevent becoming paranoid in front of her. There were a few incidents where I almost texted her something paranoid. I sent her a photo of me. Honestly, I think I am above average. But I was ghosted two times by a woman after sending this photo. Actually many women I talked with told me I look Really good and especially on this picture. But getting ghosted made me insecure. I think one time the woman wanted that I ask her for a sex date. Her picture could have hinted that. My friends and me were not sure. Then there was another woman that ghosted me after 3 days texting shortly after sending her this picture. I never learned why. Maybe I should have asked for a date. Or I wasn't her type she had many tatoos.
The woman that I am texting with made a joke about my height when I sent her my picture. I thought the joke would have been sort of offensive by saying I am not tall enough for her. But actually she wanted to say that my height is way taller than hers. Gladly I think through all my messages. I talked with friends how they interpret her message. But they made it clear to me that I got it wrong.
I think she suspects I have another diagnosis besides autism spectrum. I think her guess might be schizophrenia. When I talked about the complaint against my therapist I told her she wanted to take advantage that people would not trust me with my diagnoses. And shortly afterwards she talked about schizophrenia.
She told me there are some things in her life that need to be done so that she has time for a second date. She sounds genuine and honest. She has a 5 year old child with a health condition, works Part-time and studies at a college. She doesn't have much free time. But at the first date we vibed pretty well. I am scared the second date won't be as good. But also in texting we already have so many insider jokes. I think I really like her. Despite the fact it is difficult for me that we don't have contact this frequently. I am more scared to tell her more about my life. Though, most of my issues don't concern her. And I think she already suspects there might be downsides with me.
Today I met my friends. Took a lot of Sleep medication last night. I feel really sleepy still. But overall it was a good day. There are some things I would like to talk about but they could help to trace me so I won't elaborate on them.
Whoever reads this thread. I am sending you hugs and love. :)
The woman that I am texting with made a joke about my height when I sent her my picture. I thought the joke would have been sort of offensive by saying I am not tall enough for her. But actually she wanted to say that my height is way taller than hers. Gladly I think through all my messages. I talked with friends how they interpret her message. But they made it clear to me that I got it wrong.
I think she suspects I have another diagnosis besides autism spectrum. I think her guess might be schizophrenia. When I talked about the complaint against my therapist I told her she wanted to take advantage that people would not trust me with my diagnoses. And shortly afterwards she talked about schizophrenia.
She told me there are some things in her life that need to be done so that she has time for a second date. She sounds genuine and honest. She has a 5 year old child with a health condition, works Part-time and studies at a college. She doesn't have much free time. But at the first date we vibed pretty well. I am scared the second date won't be as good. But also in texting we already have so many insider jokes. I think I really like her. Despite the fact it is difficult for me that we don't have contact this frequently. I am more scared to tell her more about my life. Though, most of my issues don't concern her. And I think she already suspects there might be downsides with me.
Today I met my friends. Took a lot of Sleep medication last night. I feel really sleepy still. But overall it was a good day. There are some things I would like to talk about but they could help to trace me so I won't elaborate on them.
Whoever reads this thread. I am sending you hugs and love. :)
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