Help I struggle to choose a particular CTB method- none seem ideal

[onmy12threason]

To preface, I have reached a place of peace with dying. I am comfortable with leaving the life I have behind, but struggle to a CTB method that doesn't leave me mutilated or left in a puddle of my own vomit. I am intent on preventing my mom from finding me, but I suspect she will regardless. The only methods that stick out to me are CO poisoning (which seems highly unreliable) or more ideally, overdosing on fentanyl. I have struggled with SI in my past attempts, so SN is out of the question for me. Plus, it sounds downright unpleasant.

Are my demands too high? I'm feeling a little dejected. I lean towards hanging but I've seen some gnarly aftermath photos and that makes me uncomfortable. I almost wish my body would never be found after I CTB, lol. How have you guys come to terms with what death looks like? Any advice is appreciated.

 

[theboy]

Perhaps most of the users, including myself, are looking for a peaceful method. Acceptance is something that seems simple but it is not when you realize that everyone around you, including you, will die someday no matter "how".

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish the option is there to just die in an guaranteed, painless way, it's so incredibly cruel to me how one cannot just choose to easily die in peace. But of course it's certainly understandable never wanting to be found, I wish there's the ability to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[Timothy7dff]

I think CO is pretty reliable as long as the PPM is highly concentrated.

 

[onmy12threason]

I really wish the option is there to just die in a guaranteed, painless way, it's so incredibly cruel to me how one cannot just choose to easily die in peace. But of course it's certainly understandable never wanting to be found, I wish there's the ability to erase my existence so it's like I never existed at all. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

I think about that a lot, I would like to CTB in rural nature where I can be found on my own terms. I wish we had autonomy over our death in that regard.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Honestly, good old hanging. Tried and true for generations. It's just a battle of survival instinct. Make sure your setup can support the impact of the drop and you won't be discovered. I am personally thinking of ligature compression of my carotid arteries using some objects as pressure points, but I don't know if that's just me being afraid of the drop into the noose. Probably is. The idea there is to cut off blood to my brain without the need for dropping into a noose.

There is risk associated with all CTB methods, which is why medical assistance in dying is such an important human right. Because it is inhumane to force people to take these risks with a reduced quality of life for decades when they are in extreme existential suffering.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

CO with charcoal is going to be my method precisely because it is reliable, not to mention peaceful (if done correctly), doesn't require obtaining anything illegal or controlled, and is *relatively* inexpensive as far as what is required.

 

[Illegal Preclear]

There ARE ideal methods. Are you demands too high? Well...you're going to have to make some compromises. For instance - you're going to have to accept that painless DOES NOT equal less gory or ugly. And the deaths that leave you looking like Sleeping Beauty can be a lot more painful than they appear. I always use this example - one of the most PAINLESS deaths a person can undergo is implosion. Like what happened to the people in the Byford Dolphin submarine. The most gory thing you can imagine - but the most painless!

What is the most ideal method imo? Firearm. 110% Ever see the infamous Budd Dwyer video? He used a .357 Magnum - which I would say is even more ideal than a shotgun, as a Magnum is much less cumbersome. Gory? Absolutely. But look at the video - he was dead before he even hit the ground. Guaranteed painlessness and the highest success rate you can ask for. .357 Magnum in the mouth is my DREAM CTB method. I would take it over even assisted CTB with euthanasia. But - I don't care how messed up my body looks after death.

Death is always going to be ugly on the body. You're going to soil yourself no matter what method you choose. You're going to rot no matter what. Be focused on freeing your SOUL - your body is not important.

Fent is an ideal overdose, even more ideal than SN - so long as you're not found and Narcan'd.

Hanging is unfortunately the only method I have available to me atm - I say unfortunate because it's not foolproof. I've read it's peaceful if you do it right. If your knot comes undone or heaven forbid you're found - you will be left a vegetable. The reason my noose is still sitting here a month later is because I'd rather plan a way to have momentary access to a firearm, so I can be SURE. Either that or something else more ideal.

If you're in the US or somewhere else where you can access a firearm - that's your ideal method, as gory as it is. Aside from implosion, there is no method more instantaneous, painless, or foolproof.

 

[divinemistress36]

Penobarbital seems the most painless way to go of course it's restricted from us

 

[botanist_dude]

I have some ideas, if you want to message me please go ahead. I'm new here so I can't direct message anyone yet

 

[onmy12threason]

CO with charcoal is going to be my method precisely because it is reliable, not to mention peaceful (if done correctly), doesn't require obtaining anything illegal or controlled, and is *relatively* inexpensive as far as what is required.

From what I've read the CO method seems a little finicky and sometimes takes a few tries with different materials to get right. I would prefer not to die in a tent too lol, that's why I'm trying to get my hands on fent or just hang myself somewhere pretty

There ARE ideal methods. Are you demands too high? Well...you're going to have to make some compromises. For instance - you're going to have to accept that painless DOES NOT equal less gory or ugly. And the deaths that leave you looking like Sleeping Beauty can be a lot more painful than they appear. I always use this example - one of the most PAINLESS deaths a person can undergo is implosion. Like what happened to the people in the Byford Dolphin submarine. The most gory thing you can imagine - but the most painless!

What is the most ideal method imo? Firearm. 110% Ever see the infamous Budd Dwyer video? He used a .357 Magnum - which I would say is even more ideal than a shotgun, as a Magnum is much less cumbersome. Gory? Absolutely. But look at the video - he was dead before he even hit the ground. Guaranteed painlessness and the highest success rate you can ask for. .357 Magnum in the mouth is my DREAM CTB method. I would take it over even assisted CTB with euthanasia. But - I don't care how messed up my body looks after death.

Death is always going to be ugly on the body. You're going to soil yourself no matter what method you choose. You're going to rot no matter what. Be focused on freeing your SOUL - your body is not important.

Fent is an ideal overdose, even more ideal than SN - so long as you're not found and Narcan'd.

Hanging is unfortunately the only method I have available to me atm - I say unfortunate because it's not foolproof. I've read it's peaceful if you do it right. If your knot comes undone or heaven forbid you're found - you will be left a vegetable. The reason my noose is still sitting here a month later is because I'd rather plan a way to have momentary access to a firearm, so I can be SURE. Either that or something else more ideal.

If you're in the US or somewhere else where you can access a firearm - that's your ideal method, as gory as it is. Aside from implosion, there is no method more instantaneous, painless, or foolproof.

Thank you for the insight- I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that regardless of the way I go, it will not be pretty. Decaying is just part of the process that I'll have to accept, hopefully with time

 

[locked*n*loaded]

From what I've read the CO method seems a little finicky and sometimes takes a few tries with different materials to get right. I would prefer not to die in a tent too lol, that's why I'm trying to get my hands on fent or just hang myself somewhere pretty

It's whatever works for you and whatever you feel most comfortable with. After all, it's all about you. There is no wrong or right choice.

 

[botanist_dude]

The problems I know associated with fentanyl, is that it is very difficult to find it actually pure. Sometimes it is very diluted or contaminated with who-knows-what. How worried are you about the outcomes? I mean, fentanyl will probably put you in the light of "drug user" (which of course is not a "bad thing", but some people prefer not to have that label).
Have you looked in to SN? it seems to be increasingly popular, but it might be harder to get your hands on now and not enough info is available.
CO is not that bad, but you need an airtight place. That's why the car is used so much, or hoses connected directly to the mouth (see Midsommar). Downside is you also put at rist anyone close to you.
Helium is also popular, and apparently you only need a plastic bag. But I don't really know much about that one in particular.

Best of luck. This world is extremely dissapointing. I plan to go soon too due to financial stress

EDITED for spelling mistakes

 

[rotciv]

The problems I know associated with fentanyl, is that it is very difficult to find it actually pure. Sometimes it is very diluted or contaminated with who-knows-what. How worried are you about the outcomes? I mean, fentanyl will probably put you in the light of "drug user" (which of course is not a "bad thing", but some people prefer not to have that label).

You can find pure nitanezes tho, depending of the country that u are

 

[Claire1568]

New here also. Not even sure what all the abbreviations stand for (if anyone can enlighten me, that would be helpful ).

I have always thought that pure nitrogen was the most peaceful, with no asphixiation feelings, but again im new to this forum.

 

[Abyssal]

That's the issue isn't it. Welcome to SaSu we are all a bit indecisive here as well

 

[onmy12threason]

You can find pure nitanezes tho, depending of the country that u are

Interesting.. I haven't heard of nitazenes before. I doubt that the average dealer has those on hand though lol