Help I still love her but should I cut my losses?

[KadathianStr1d3r]

My bipolar was acting up and really screwed things up. I got this last Sunday and ever since then I feel even more suicidal. I want to fix things with her but the thing is though I'm not even sure if I could.

TLDR story: Really bad couple days at work,, stress causes bipolar to go off.. My bipolar made me believe she actually didn't love me so I avoided contact for those two days. This was major fuck up on my part
I honestly cannot stress enough how receiving this message made me feel so god damn terrible, I was seriously considering just ending my lifeto make the pain stop.
I loved her.
Meeting her was the best thing to happen in my life and hurting her was the worst thing I've done in my life.
Should I "man-up" and cut my losses or is there a way to fix things!?!?!
Please respond ASAP

 

[Life_and_Death]

i think it can be fixed as long as shes understanding. ive fucked up really bad with my SO many times (repeatedly), but understanding (overtime) has kept my ass mostly out of the fire

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

i think it can be fixed as long as shes understanding. ive fucked up really bad with my SO many times (repeatedly), but understanding (overtime) has kept my ass mostly out of the fire

One of her friends told me that she wanted me to know that's she's fine, happy and I shouldn't worry about it. So I'll be honest but I think that means she's happy that I'm gone or what?

 

[Life_and_Death]

One of her friends told me that she wanted me to know that's she's fine, happy and I shouldn't worry about it. So I'll be honest but I think that means she's happy that I'm gone or what?

just because theyre "fine" doesnt mean there isnt a small part that misses you. plus, i dont know about these people specifically but it wouldnt be uncommon for friends to lie "for the best". its probably best to try and talk to her.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

just because theyre "fine" doesnt mean there isnt a small part that misses you. plus, i dont know about these people specifically but it wouldnt be uncommon for friends to lie "for the best". its probably best to try and talk to her.

Damn, I guess your right. I don't know how to approach her or how to message the right text. She's Hispanic and English is something she's is learning still.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Damn, I guess your right. I don't know how to approach her or how to message the right text. She's Hispanic and English is something she's is learning still.

google translate?
and i cant tell you word for word what to say, but explaining your bipolar so she understands you didnt mean it and that you need reassurance would be a good place to start (i know its really close to bpd so i think thats the right advice)

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

google translate?
and i cant tell you word for word what to say, but explaining your bipolar so she understands you didnt mean it and that you need reassurance would be a good place to start (i know its really close to bpd so i think thats the right advice)

I dont know if I could do it now.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I dont know if I could do it now.

why not? if i can ask

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

why not? if i can ask

To be honest I'm pretty sure she'll just ignore me, that's the part that scares me. Telling somebody my ills and they just ghost me because of it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

To be honest I'm pretty sure she'll just ignore me, that's the part that scares me. Telling somebody my ills and they just ghost me because of it.

i understand that . im not sure what she already knows but maybe be vague about it, something like "im sorry i didnt mean it, please give me a chance to explain." then she doesnt know if she does ghost you. if you dont try at all then youll never know, which is an option.
and if you get upset about her not messaging back your free to pm me

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

i understand that . im not sure what she already knows but maybe be vague about it, something like "im sorry i didnt mean it, please give me a chance to explain." then she doesnt know if she does ghost you. if you dont try at all then youll never know, which is an option.
and if you get upset about her not messaging back your free to pm me

Well I did it. Nothing. I really dislike this situation. I guess I'll cut things off and move on.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Well I did it. Nothing. I really dislike this situation. I guess I'll cut things off and move on.

they might not answer right away. i think going about your day is a good idea, if they message awesome, if not at least youre already forgetting it

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

they might not answer right away. i think going about your day is a good idea, if they message awesome, if not at least youre already forgetting it

I kind

they might not answer right away. i think going about your day is a good idea, if they message awesome, if not at least youre already forgetting it

Okay. We got talking and now we're good. I'll do everything I can to make this last forever. She said she still loves me and she understands my bipolar. Thank you so much!

 

[Life_and_Death]

I kind

Okay. We got talking and now we're good. I'll do everything I can to make this last forever. She said she still loves me and she understands my bipolar. Thank you so much!

patience, understanding and communication im really happy for you

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

patience, understanding and communication im really happy for you

Things got fucked up.
The relationship is over. I'm done, I'm done with everything. That was my one chance at love and now I have nothing left. I want to chop my dick off and throw it to the sea! I really. Really really don't want to live anymore.

 

[LifeIsAChore11]

There is this guy I'm in love with so much I haven't forgotten him in over 4 years. If you feel this girl is the "one" then do everything in your power to fix it!!!!

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

There is this guy I'm in love with so much I haven't forgotten him in over 4 years. If you feel this girl is the "one" then do everything in your power to fix it!!!!

There is this guy I'm in love with so much I haven't forgotten him in over 4 years. If you feel this girl is the "one" then do everything in your power to fix it!!!

I don't know how

 

[LifeIsAChore11]

Say you're really sorry and are going to change, even if you don't plan to. You're lucky because the chance is manyfold better than mine would ever be.

I don't know how

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Say you're really sorry and are going to change, even if you don't plan to. You're lucky because the chance is manyfold better than mine would ever be.

I'm pretty sure there is no going back.

 

[LifeIsAChore11]

I'm pretty sure there is no going back.

Just try, and say you're genuinely sorry and can't live without her. I can't guarantee anything but you have to try at least.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Just try, and say you're genuinely sorry and can't live without her. I can't guarantee anything but you have to try at least.

I'll try

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I'm getting nothing in response

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It was probably too heavy man. Tbh I think things like "I can't live without you" are a really bad idea. If it's all been too much for her to handle, the only way is to respect that and back off/deescalate whatever. You can't put all that on her. If she doesn't respond, just let it go, and give it some time. But even then, I wouldn't initiate contact again. It would have to be up to her.

 

[jodes2]

It was probably too heavy man. Tbh I think things like "I can't live without you" are a really bad idea. If it's all been too much for her to handle, the only way is to respect that and back off/deescalate whatever. You can't put all that on her. If she doesn't respond, just let it go, and give it some time. But even then, I wouldn't initiate contact again. It would have to be up to her.

I'd say that, except for give it one last shot. You won't know if you don't try, just don't push it. Be respectful. But mutual bonds are hard to develop and I don't think should ever be thrown away without a second effort.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

It was probably too heavy man. Tbh I think things like "I can't live without you" are a really bad idea. If it's all been too much for her to handle, the only way is to respect that and back off/deescalate whatever. You can't put all that on her. If she doesn't respond, just let it go, and give it some time. But even then, I wouldn't initiate contact again. It would have to be up to her.

You're right. What should I do in the meantime then? Can't exactly rely on friends since they never want to hang out and she works at the same place I work out.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

You're right. What should I do in the meantime then? Can't exactly rely on friends since they never want to hang out and she works at the same place I work out.

I'm not sure there's much you can do right now. It's a tough one because sometimes we just have to say what's in our hearts, even if it's too much/off-putting, etc. We all do it (I did it just recently). In that moment after you said it or hit send, you kind of feel like "oh shit" and then you sort of know you fucked up.

I'm not saying it's a done deal or anything though, I don't know the particulars, and I hope it works out for you. But I suspect giving her time and space is the best gift you can give for the moment. If she wants to talk, she knows where to find you.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I'm not sure there's much you can do right now. It's a tough one because sometimes we just have to say what's in our hearts, even if it's too much/off-putting, etc. We all do it (I did it just recently). In that moment after you said it or hit send, you kind of feel like "oh shit" and then you sort of know you fucked up.

I'm not saying it's a done deal or anything though, I don't know the particulars, and I hope it works out for you. But I suspect giving her time and space is the best gift you can give for the moment. If she wants to talk, she knows where to find you.

I'll do that for the moment. I guess I'll use writing as a coping mechanism then?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Saying things like "I can't live without you" is bad advice, especially if this is a newer relationship, which is sounds like it is.

I'm going to be honest, if your bi polar is making you do things like ignore a gf for days and you can't fully communicate with her since she's still learning English, maybe this isn't the relationship for you.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Saying things like "I can't live without you" is bad advice, especially if this is a newer relationship, which is sounds like it is.

I'm going to be honest, if your bi polar is making you do things like ignore a gf for days and you can't fully communicate with her since she's still learning English, maybe this isn't the relationship for you.

Perhaps you're right. I'll start cutting things off at a slow pace; I'll move to another department in a different shift then I'll focus more on trying to get my bipolar straight and most importantly I need to start loving myself so I feel less bad. She needs somebody better than me.
I feel better already now guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll begin writing something to cope.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

She needs somebody better than me.

I think it's more like you need someone that you can clearly communicate with, since you have bi polar and that can make you do things that seem odd or hurtful in relationships, even if you don't mean it that way. You're going to need to find someone who is understanding about that sort of thing.

Just curious, how long did you guys date?